[ Kalim already has a contract. But if there's one thing he loves, it's getting to know other people. He hasn't paid much attention to what was on his fact sheet. (1. Not a virgin anymore, 2. Likes things on the spicier side, and 3. Missing a special someone)
He honestly hadn't put a ton of thought into who he might meet at this little event-- nor had he paid attention to the "fun facts" provided about him. At least, not beyond finding it was weird he didn't get to choose them himself.
But, he could deal with that easily, as he takes a seat, waiting for his first partner to appear. ]
[1. Lives to serve 2. A real charmer 3. Can't stop thinking about you. If Jamil knew what their captors had decided to write about him, he would be seething right now--or at least, would be even more than he already is. Who wouldn't be furious over such mockery?
This whole situation feels enough like a mockery as it is, even without rubbing salt in the wound. This far from home, where his social status no longer matters, where he no longer has obligations, where he should be free--where he should be thrilled that he's been chosen to be one of the elite..... Somehow, it doesn't feel as though he's done anything but stepped from one cage into another. What good is this power and authority if he didn't rightfully earn it through acknowledgement of his own capabilities? Why is it that being placed in this position makes his skin crawl with anxiety, feeling countless eyes on him wherever he walks, knowing the weight of the expectations crushing being placed on him?
It's their captors spitting in his face, that's what it is, making his dream something that only leaves him even more tightly bound and scrutinized than he's ever been before. But if he understands the consequences correctly, what else can he possibly do but force himself to smile, and humbly accept the "honor" he's being given like an exemplary Dominant should? It would be far too dangerous to refuse. He needs to know his place if he's to have any hope of surviving this situation. That means whatever this "tea date" is meant to accomplish, whoever these facts are about, he needs to at least pretend to be happy to have the opportunity to spend time with them.
At least some tea might actually settle his nerves, when this whole day has been absolutely exhausting so far? And gaining useful intelligence on their situation could be vital to--
Jamil freezes in the doorway as his eyes scan the tables for his dining partner, heart abruptly constricting in his chest and carefully crafted smile stiffening along with his shoulders. Why is he here?! Somewhere like this, of all places?! If that card he was given is actually correct, then that means--
Seven, he feels like he's going to be sick. He's not sure if he wants to rush to Kalim's side, abandon this whole farce and run away screaming, or pinch himself and pray he wakes up from this nightmare. How did this happen? Why did this happen?!]
[ hm?? there's still no one there. Kalim had been ignoring the card, but now that he was alone for an extended period... should he be worried? should he read in advance? he isn't sure. Finally, though, instead of reading, he looks around in confusion.
And then he sees Jamil.
His eyes go wide, his heart feels-- something akin to relief, but heavier. And he stand up immediately, running to him ]
Jamil!!
[ as he runs, and then shortly before he crashes into him, hugging him tight. He's missed him so much. It's hard to believe he was there, event hough he knows he was there before. But still.
It's been over two months. The longest they've ever been apart, and the anxiety's been eating him every single day. ]
[For a long, excruciating moment, it feels hard just to breathe. Navigating this crisis alone while only having to worry about and rely on himself had felt daunting enough, but now having to keep an eye on Kalim on top of that? What exactly is he even meant to do at this point? There's no way people who can abduct people from across dimensions would have goals so trivial that they would leave a ransom note. (And even if they did, he's not confident that the Asims would bother to pay for the release someone like him.) They could be here for the rest of their lives, if these people don't decide that they're no longer useful and dispose of them. And even if they somehow manage to escape and make it back home, if something happens to Kalim along the way--
Yes. He's concerned about avoiding the consequences that would have for him if he fails in his duties. He's most certainly not worried about what would happen to an innocent--no, to a naïve, gullible, feckless idiot like Kalim if this sort of place chewed him up and spat him back out. This kind of place would eat him alive for sure if someone wasn't keeping him out of trouble. What a headache.....
Even his racing thoughts can't stop Jamil from automatically reaching out to catch Kalim, to keep him from crashing into him and sending them both tumbling to the ground. It's not exactly returning the hug, but..... Well, it's better than nothing, right? He's not shoving him away, at the very least.]
Kalim! What are you doing here? Why aren't you at Scarabia?
[None of this makes any sense. There had been nothing to indicate the school's barrier had been breached. He had noticed nothing amiss, on campus or in the dorm itself. There's no way Kalim could have been abducted before him without him knowing; he had seen Kalim right before they'd gone to bed for the night, and he hadn't woken up to any sounds of a struggle. There's certainly no reason some assassin or kidnapper would have seen any value in targeting him of all people, either. And if they had been taken at the same time simply for convenience's sake, shouldn't they have woken up together here? Why is Kalim clinging to him as though they've been separated for ages? Does he have some sort of amnesia? Had magic or drugs been used on him when he was taken here?]
[ of course Jamil's yelling at him. and Kalim's heart has not been happier in awhile, to hear his voice and feel properly like it was fine again. He has to keep himself calm to not cry against Jamil, but he can't help the way that tears prick at the edges of his eyes. he laughs, a little unsteady from all the relief. ]
Oh.... Ah... time works strangely here, apparently. So, I've been here for a couple of months already. And maybe no time at all's passed since you saw me!
Which is a huge relief!!
[ he fights with himself whether or not to tell Jamil that he's been there before, but ultimately decides... he doesn't want to. He only heard about that from Silver. So maybe it's up to Silver to tell Jamil. Kalim absolutely doesn't want to focus on that, hiself. ]
I'm so glad to see you!
[ regardless of anything else, Kalim thinks Jamil needs to know that. That wouldn't add any other pressure onto him. ]
[What. What. How?! What is this place? Why would time work differently without some extenuating circumstances like Malleus' frankly insane Halloween prank? How has Kalim even managed that long without supervision? He's not used to doing anything by himself! What if he's already gotten hurt?!
Who cares if Kalim is glad to see him? (Of course he's glad to see him. He always is. Seven, he's just..... why does he have to be so..... so insufferable?) That's utterly irrelevant compared to the apparently months long gap he'll have to answer for. Jamil looks Kalim up and down with a critical eye, scanning him for injuries and more. Has he been eating? Has he been sleeping? What about laundry? What about medicine? What about--]
[ he looks Fine. He's not too thin-- basically almost the same as he was last seen... somehow.
The only marks are his submissive collar and the tattoo under his chin down to his collarbone. And his clothes look perfectly serviceable. Clean, most certainly, but the sort of average clean that comes from... not being rich. ]
Yeah! I have so much I wanna show you!
[ he wipes his eyes, and all traces of tears are gone. There's only happiness there. And all the things Jamil's read on his card by now. ]
[Of course he does. Of course he's all smiles, now that they've been reunited. Of course he's not concerned about any of this. Kalim has barely worried about anything actually important a day in his life. Why would he start now? And that collar..... they went over what that means in Orientation. Kalim Al-Asim, of all people, is a Submissive. Maybe not an obviously mistreated one, given the adequate state he's in, but the sheer audacity of subjecting Kalim to such treatment is astounding.
It should..... make him feel happy, finally standing above Kalim, shouldn't it.....? Isn't this what he'd wanted? Instead, he only feels even more uncomfortable in his own skin than he already has been since he'd first arrived, the exhaustion hanging heavy and suffocating over him like a leaden shroud. Even this sort of victory, they had managed to pervert and make hollow, somehow. He could really do with sitting down.]
.....We should stop blocking traffic. People are staring.
[ he doesn't seem to mind them sitting. He still hasn't read Jamil's card-- maybe he wouldn't, if only based on how happy he is to see him, and how much maybe he didn't need to read it.
Unless he did? The thought occurs to him as he lets Jamil go, and backs away to allow him to head to the table they'd both be seated at. But he just can't help himself-- he's so happy to see Jamil. Even if the situation is less than ideal, Jamil was there. And if there was anyone who would know what to do it would probably be him. ]
Let's sit, let's sit! We're supposed to get to know each other!
[ he laughs a little-- but there's something needling at the back of his mind as he sits down.
Something that makes him put his hand over the card he was provided. ]
.....What rubbish. What else is there to get to know, after so many years? They obviously just threw people together at random without even checking to see where they're from.
[It isn't as though he's been allowed to keep his secrets any longer, given the circumstances. And Kalim..... he can't keep secrets to save his life. Can he? Whatever their captors had been hoping to accomplish with this absurd social engagement, they're clearly not going to get it with the two of them; it's surely just going to be a frustrating exercise in futility.
Still, there's no point in resisting. Not when they'll almost certainly be observed the whole time, to make sure they're doing as they're meant to be. Jamil sighs and follows Kalim back to the table, reaching for a menu once he's settled in. Just how long will they need to do this? They'll need to only have tea, based on what he'd been told--he certainly has no local currency yet, and Submissives apparently aren't allowed to use money at all, are they? What a disgusting place. What a disgusting system. If only someone could burn it all to the ground.....]
[ Kalim ignores the tea. but he was always going to ignore the tea. and looks at the card provided in front of him. The first one-- that rings hollow to hm. That can't be what Jamil lives for. He knows it isn't.
The second-- that has to be a reference to his unique magic, doesn't it? But someone like Jamil would be able to play that off easily. Kalim would struggle to lie, but not Jamil. Not with something as vague as "charmer."
But it's the third one that makes him pause. Can't stop thinking about you? Does Jamil really obsess over someone? Who is this "you"? He wants to know them. He's missed them somehow, but if it's true... He looks up at him, over the card, studying.
[Well, Kalim won't be drinking anything unless he does first, of course. But it's fine as long as the waiters bring the pot right to the table for them to pour their own cups, isn't it? As long as they can keep an eye on it while they talk, there's nothing to worry about.
Jamil places his order while Kalim reads his card--a fragrant jasmine tea, as it turns out--, raising an eyebrow at him incredulously. As tactless as always..... but that aside, really? What kind of question is that?]
What? Obviously not. What would even give you that idea?
[Jamil takes the card to read over himself, jaw tightening subtly. There are some very choice words he could say about this slander.....
Instead he just huffs dismissively, dropping it back onto the table. That idiot..... If they had been paired together randomly, then the last one was clearly a personal dig at him being "overbearing" or some such nonsense, as if his caution wasn't constantly justified at every possible turn. And if this had been deliberate, well..... the who should be obvious, right? The card had been given directly to Kalim, after all.
Not that it's true even if that is the case. He's not obsessed, after all. It's his job to worry about Kalim--and even when he's off the clock, how is he supposed to stop thinking about him when Kalim won't leave him alone? He doesn't exactly get much peace and quiet or time to himself. Ugh, of all the things they could have written..... Why pick something so embarrassing?]
They're trying to turn everything into an innuendo to get people excited to meet each other, that's all. It's probably just a comment on Scarabian mindfulness and planning.
[ does he look a little relieved? he doesn't mean to, but there's that brief flash of... something ]
That makes sense.
[ he says, giving Jamil all the grace in the world. there's supposed to be tea drinking he knows, but he's still a little surprised when something actually comes to the table, and his eyes widen. ]
Oh! I wouldn't trust anything they give you to eat or drink.
Think of it like clickbait on Magicam. These aren't even worth the paper they're printed on.
[Kalim never has been able to hide his feelings worth a damn, has he? Of course he's going to notice that momentary shift, ridiculous as it is. Why would Kalim be worried that he's obsessed with anyone, anyway? Classes and club meetings aside, it seems as though they're hardly ever apart these days. Does Kalim really believe he has time for other commitments in his life right now, especially ones he wouldn't already know about the moment they developed? Honestly, it'll be a miracle if he ever manages to get into a romantic relationship, at this rate.
The flash of alarm in his eyes when Kalim warns him, though--it's certainly not proving the card wrong, in either sense it could have been meant in. Has Kalim been subsisting off tainted food and drink for months? How badly has it hurt him already? He doesn't look thin enough to have been starving himself the way he used to..... Ugh, this never would have happened if he'd been around to cook. Unbelievable.]
How do they tamper with it? Are you alright? What have you been eating and drinking, in that case?
[ he says, more insistently, immediately putting his hands out to block the pot as much as possible. The last thing he wants is for Jamil to find himself in the state he was on the first day. The idea makes Kalim uncomfortable in ways that are hard to describe.
If he has to be there... Kalim wants him to have the awareness for every moment of it. To make his own choices, and to not feel like anyone has manipulated him into anything. ]
It makes your head go-- funny. And you can't really think through what you do.
[ he could describe it more clearly, or answer any of his other questions. But Kalim is more concerned about dissuading Jamil from drinking than anything else. ]
[What a wretched pack of scum, claiming this is some sort of innocent social engagement only to drug and manipulate strangers who couldn't possibly know better. Just how badly have they hurt Kalim already? How many times? What exactly have they forced him to do?
Jamil's voice is tightly controlled to force down the anger, but he does reach around Kalim's hands to take the pot--and set it on the next table over, spout pointedly facing away from them, rather than give into the unseemly impulse to fling it onto the floor and watch it shatter. Observation be damned, if the refreshments are drugged, then this is more important than remaining inconspicuous.]
How do you feel? You didn't breathe in any of the steam, did you?
Don't worry, don't worry! That... isn't that strong!
[ he falters, and then finishes much more self assured. And more relaxed now that the pot is away from them. Jamil is safe. He won't drink it, and then there won't be any awkward situations. ]
I've been cooking for myself! I want to make something for you, too. I'm no where near as good as you, but you've been cooking my meals for so long, I really want to try to make something for you too. Lilia will be glad to see you, and I really want you to meet Ruby, too!
[ his questions: forgotten. the fact sheets: forgotten. He just wants to share every little thought that has popped up inside his head. ]
[That's..... one way to avoid being drugged, he supposes, but somehow it doesn't really make him feel any better. Kalim isn't supposed to handle knives or fire for a reason. At least he doesn't seem to be sporting any bandages, and he hadn't seen any cuts, burns, or blisters..... But still!
And yet..... He genuinely can't decide if it's better that Kalim risks the kitchen, or that someone like Lilia cook for him. He's heard horror stories about the kitchen abominations Lilia is capable of producing, ones that frankly beggar belief. How ill would Kalim get, trying to eat that man's culinary disasters? Every possibility he hears about is worse than the last.....
How is he even supposed to feel about the idea of Kalim cooking him something, anyway? It's just..... unnatural. It makes him feel uncomfortable in a way he's not sure how to articulate--so he won't. At all. Maybe if they just move past it, Kalim will forget about the idea entirely, and he won't have to say anything.]
I'm..... glad you've had a friend to keep you company, at least. Who's Ruby?
[ Kalim doesn't know any of the turmoil going on under the surface for Jamil. Instead, he just assumes that this is all brought up as natural curiosity. After all, there was a lot for him to talk about with his life ere.
About how they were definitely equal now, and he didn't want Jamil to worry about being employed. Because there was no way he could, and also... he wouldn't be allowed to. They were different statuses now, after all. Something that might be a relief, Kalim hopes. To free Jamil from having to worry. ]
She's not good at cooking either, so I do a lot of it! I've learned a lot about the sort of stuff you've had to go through. And now, you don't have to worry at all! That's great, right??
[What a master to have..... He's not sure what to make of this new information, honestly. A careless, chaotic man like Lilia sounds like an absolute chore to serve. Then again, he's clearly far sharper than he lets on, and he's difficult to read, not to mention a quite capable mage and fighter..... what a dangerous man. At least he's fond of Kalim. For all his eccentricities, Lilia has probably done an adequate job of keeping Kalim safe. He hopes.]
What are you talking about?
[Idiot..... As though he'd ever be able to just stop worrying. Why does Kalim assume he would, just because he's learned how to operate a stove? And why does he think he suddenly knows him now, just because he's been forced to be a Submissive? He doesn't know a damn thing about him. How could Kalim possibly understand what he's gone through, or how he feels? The very notion is absurd. He's just.....
They're just too different. Kalim's not that kind of person, and never will be.]
[ he blinks at that response, and glances down, trying to think of what he wants to say, before settling, ]
Well, the idea of the al-Asim heir doesn't matter here, right? And Rook told me I should try to embrace being a submissive to understand everything you have to deal with...
[ so, he did.
to varying degrees of success. ]
So, here, it doesn't matter what things are like back home. You don't need to worry about me at all!
[ he says it so cheerfully, certain this will free Jamil up. Maybe he'll even be happy! Kalim hopes he'll be happy... he just wants them to be equals... but he'd take their positions switching at the very least, if it would make Jamil happy. ]
[How meddlesome. Should he be grateful that Rook tried to step in on his behalf, or just annoyed? The man is almost as hard to read as Lilia in some ways. But he can admit that maybe it would be..... useful for Kalim to get a little perspective on his job, if it means Kalim's a little more conscientious about staying out of trouble and not giving him so much extra work. Just because Rook had tried doesn't mean that Kalim had gotten the point though, does it?
He never seems to get the point, even if he's apparently suddenly trying to. Why is Kalim always so..... so..... ugh! What a damn fool! What is this fresh nonsense? As if he could ever just forget what they're going back home to..... Wouldn't it only hurt worse, pretending that none of it mattered, only to need to pick right back up where they'd left off? Just like that brief taste of an independent school life, going up in smoke in a matter of weeks..... How is it that Kalim so cavalierly asks for the moon and stars, without the slightest idea that they might be impossible to pluck out of the sky? Why can't he just be reasonable for once?]
Don't be ridiculous, we can't just forget where we come from. Or do you seriously mean to tell me you've already given up hope on making it home?
[ he says, oblivious to all of the internal turmoil Jamil's shifting through. ]
Just, it doesn't make sense to pretend things are like they are at home while we're here, right? It's not like I could pay you or anything, so... You don't have to worry about it.
[It feels like he's been punched in the gut. Is Kalim saying he's replacing him?! With Lilia, of all people?! Of all the reckless, irresponsible, short-sighted, brazen, arrogant, stupid--!! How does he think he's going to manage on his own without anyone helping him? Is Lilia even responsible enough to handle everything Kalim needs? What the hell does he expect to say when he gets in over his head and inevitably comes crawling back to him in utter defeat and humiliation? "Haha, sorry, my bad! Could you give me a hand with this? You always know just what to do!"
Of course he knows what to do. He has more knowledge and experience than anyone else ever has or ever will. What makes Kalim think anyone else is capable of fulfilling those duties?]
You can't just fire me, you aren't even the contract holder to begin with! Do you have any idea what kind of trouble there would be if I shirked my duties just because we got kidnapped?
Out of the question. Just because it's been relatively safe so far doesn't mean it will continue to be; there's no predicting the behavior of scumbags who have somehow pulled off kidnapping hundreds of people like this.
[Oh, they'll know. Anything that happens to Kalim, any injuries, any discrepancies..... He'll be the one who has to answer for them. And if he's being held accountable, that risks the rest of his family being held accountable, too. It's just going to be a mess all around, one he needs to be present for to prevent as much as possible.
He just..... can't let Kalim get hurt. That's all there is to it. It's so simple and obvious, even Kalim himself should be capable of understanding. Right?]
[ what does he say to that? he can't help it: he's confused. Jamil should've been excited for this, shouldn't he? A chance to not have to worry about him?
Kalim's smile is a little awkward, and his posture torn between tight and fidgety, and slumping in defeat. He wants to push back, wants to tell Jamil he doesn't want him to worry. But he already has, and Jamil's already told him no.
What can he even do at this point...? ]
I-- okay...
[ he nods, acquiescing. he can't deny that there are dangers. ]
[Whew..... That takes care of their first problem. He wouldn't be able to watch over Kalim properly, if he wasn't still in a position to stay close. But that's a relatively small hurdle to clear, considering everything else they have to contend with, isn't it? There's no possible way they can rely on outside rescue in a situation like this; how would Crowley and the other professors have any idea what had happened, let alone be able to do something about this when they've apparently been brought to another dimension entirely? They have no choice but to rely on themselves, and their fellow hostages.....
If they even can organize or conspire in any meaningful way without arousing suspicion. How are they supposed to get useful information? Is it possible to insinuate himself into this "LIER" organization that had brought him here? Maybe gain enough trust to be able to search their facilities, or use Snake Charmer on someone to interrogate them without getting caught?]
We'll figure something out. In the meantime..... what have they done to you? What has life been like for you here?
[ kalim just picks himself back up once the conversation continues, his posture relaxing like they hadn't just had-- he doesn't even know what to call it. Maybe it really was just normal.
But it didn't feel normal.
Still, he wasn't going to dwell on it, or it would ruin the rest of the conversation with Jamil most likely. ]
What do you mean? It's been great!
[ he answers, impossibly chipper. ]
I get to work at a potion shop. Ruby and Lilia are a ton of fun to hang out with! Oh, and since Cater's here, we've been able to do Pop Music Club shows too! I really like it!
[Forgive him if he's a little skeptical that anything about this godsforsaken situation could possibly be great. Isn't that just like Kalim, to have unwarranted optimism about the most dangerous potential predicaments? Even so, he can't help but be a little surprised, hearing Kalim's actually employed.....]
It sounds as though you're staying busy, at least. Are--
Finished already? Here you go, boys.
.....Thank you very much.
[Jamil smiles, but there's something sharp and cold in his gaze as he stares at the waitress' retreating back. So they noticed that they weren't drinking, did they? Whoever "they" were. Why push the refreshments so hard, without giving them a chance to demur? Will they even be allowed to leave, if they don't properly partake and socialize as they're expected to?]
[ Kalim echoes, with sincerity. After all, that person hadn't done anything wrong. Still, he doesn't make a move to get anything to drink, instead pulling his feet up into the chair, sitting in a butterfly pattern, rocking lightly.
idly. not paying attention ]
Yeah, I'm definitely staying busy! Did you know Idia runs a cafe, too?! It's wild, I expected that from someone like Azul, but I was totally surprised when I heard he was running it. Lots of our classmates work there!
[ really... he's one of the only ones who doesn't. ]
Idia? Since when would he choose to be in charge of anything?
[Idia hates talking to people. Employees, customers--isn't dealing with that sort of thing all far beyond the tolerance levels of a shut-in like him? He's not sure if he's incredulous or impressed. Is Ortho running it all for him?
Well, that's none of his concern. Whatever Idia is doing to push outside of his comfort zone or not, maybe Idia being a business owner will come in handy somehow? Jamil pours himself a cup of tea in the meantime, looking past Kalim as he stirs in a generous spoonful of sugar--downright conservative, by Kalim's tastes, but enough that he should be able to identify the effects of whatever substances might have been added to it. It's probably in the tea, though, isn't it? Not everyone takes theirs sweetened, after all.
Now, to see if he can spot who or what may be monitoring them (and how many other pairs, throughout the restaurant?) to make sure they were drinking as they've been told to.]
Just how many classmates have been brought here? Why target Night Raven College in particular.....?
[ Kalim is distracted for a moment, but he still seems apprehensive about Jamil drinking the tea. But... everyone else is drinking it, and nothing's happened yet. So maybe he's overreacting...
He exhales softly. ]
A lot of people... Right now, there's Lilia, Silver, Cater, Idia, Floyd, Jade, and Rook. I don't know if they're targeting NRC or if... that's just how it is. There's a lot of people from all over here.
Nine people, now..... That's a significant amount, for a campus of our size. I can't imagine that's a coincidence, if they're capable of taking people from countless different places, even different dimensions. So why.....?
[Jamil raises his cup and takes a deep breath of steam, slow and deliberate, calculating as he keeps an eye on their surroundings. No difference in scent that he can detect. A deep, measured sip, cup lingering against his lips to blatantly show his obedience to whatever LIER agents or cameras might be watching, gaze sharp and focused as he analyzes the drink and his own bodily reactions. The taste is what he would expect, the consistency and mouthfeel are fine, the color of the tea is normal. As far as he can tell, anything they've added is colorless, odorless, able to dissolve into hot tea perfectly without leaving any telltale traces behind.
Now, how does he feel? He feels..... fine, mostly. A gentle, lingering warmth spreading through him, more than he would expect from a simple tea. A subtle..... looseness, if he had to describe it aloud? His muscles feel a little less tense, his chest a little less tight, his mind a little less dark and tumultuous. Were he not paying such intense attention, would he have even noticed? Or would he have simply chalked it up to being relieved to be able to finally relax, after such a stressful transition? Still, his head doesn't feel "funny", as Kalim had described it. His thoughts are lucid. He has full control over himself, as he sets his cup back down on its saucer.]
There's some sort of fast-acting sedative I can't identify, but even drinking in moderation, it should still only be a mild dose. An attempt to keep us complacent, no doubt.
[ so there was something in the tea... But Jamil doesn't think it's anything to worry about... Still, knowing there's something does make his heart rate spike uncomfortably for a brief moment. ]
You don't feel hot, do you?
[ he's concerned... after all, it took a minute for the first drink to work on him. But-- no, Jamil would know. He was drinking carefully. Now it was Kalim who was probably worrying too much.
But he can't help it. Conversations on "why" are forgotten as he focuses entirely on Jamil. ]
No. Or at least, not yet. We'll see if it has any slower to kick in symptoms.
[Not that he sounds particularly convinced there will be, knowing that there had been something that worked immediately..... But he'll keep an eye on it, won't he? Jamil certainly doesn't look like he intends to keep drinking just yet, at any rate. As long as Kalim knows not to partake, or at least knows the risks..... That's good enough, isn't it? Kalim will stay safe, just as he's meant to.
And him..... he can take it, easily. So far, at least, this drug is mild and benign enough to not even bat an eye over.]
What are you doing?! We don't know if there's going to be a delayed reaction yet!
[Why is Kalim always like this?! He doesn't need to recklessly disregard his own safety when he has a poison tester, does he? Ugh! If Kalim would just wait patiently and let him do his damn job--]
[Oh, but he can, and he will. It's too late to argue now, isn't it? Whatever will happen, will happen. Jamil can't help but sigh, shaking his head. What are they going to do if they both get hit with something stronger, more delayed, more dangerous? They don't have any family doctors on call here like they do at the palace. And there's no Professor Crewel to quickly diagnose such a poisoning, like there is on campus.....]
You idiot..... The whole point of testing it in advance is to make sure at least one of us isn't incapacitated.
[But there's really no convincing a guy like Kalim, is there? Any attempted scolding is just going to go in one ear and out the other, as always. So..... Fine. Fine. He has no choice but to accept it, now that Kalim is already drinking too.]
If something happens, I'll call Lilia. He'll know what to do.
[ after all, Lilia's been taking good care of him, and more importantly, Lilia's got a wealth of experience from age that there was no way Kalim and Jamil could compete with. ]
But for now, you can relax. It's not that frightening here, most of the time.
[Relaxing is the last thing he wants to do, if he's honest. Lilia hardly seems like the most reliable person to nurse anyone back to health, given the rumors he's heard.....
But it's anyone's guess if there actually will be any further effects from whatever they've been drugged with. He still doesn't feel any unnatural heat, or anything clouding his thoughts. Maybe they're just..... who even knows? Trying to forcibly pair-bond strangers for this twisted experiment they're running? It's a futile effort, if that's the case. After all, the two of them are already.....
He'd really rather not think too hard about it, when his head is hurting as it is.]
I'm not so sure we have the same definition of frightening, if everything they serve in public is tainted.
And not everything is tainted. Ruby likes to get drinks from cafes and things like that, and sometimes I go with her! I just got really unlucky one time.
[ he shrugs, and that was probably more than he would've said a moment ago, but he doesn't seem too perturbed by it. He's more openly happy Jamil's there. ]
And after that, it didn't matter, since no one else could cook, especially after Riddle went back home! So I decided to try it, since I couldn't keep my promise to only eat your cooking if you weren't there.
[Is he sure these cafe drinks aren't tainted routinely, if there's something in the tea today? Or is it that they just have sneakier, less lethal effects than Kalim has to worry about at home? Either way, mentioning a particularly "unlucky" day is clearly evidence enough that this place is dangerous, that they should be cautious.
Even that concern is momentarily distracted from, hearing that Riddle was not only seized, but has managed to escape their confinement. Without even taking the rest of them with him, or letting them in on the secret? He'd thought Riddle was more of an insufferable goody--ah, was more conscientious than that.]
[That's..... that's in incredibly poor taste, if it's a joke. But Silver is far too earnest to joke about something like that, isn't he? Not so rigid as Riddle, perhaps, but serious and diligent, honest and capable, kind enough that he sometimes questions how Silver ended up in Night Raven College at all. No, if Silver claims he was here at one point before, then.....
He feels a little sick just contemplating the possibility, headache only worsening as he struggles to make sense of it all. Does he have amnesia? Was his memory altered with magic or a potion? How? Why? Had they let him go deliberately for some reason, or had he managed to escape? If he had escaped, why wouldn't he remember it? If they had released him for a purpose, then why? What else had they done to him that he can't remember? Why would they need him here again, if they had been satisfied enough with..... whatever they were doing to surrender him? What reason would there be to toy with him like this?
His can hear his heartbeat racing in his ears; Jamil takes another drink, tense all over again as he forces a surge of cold anger down. Whatever reason they may have for not wanting him to remember being taken previously, nothing good can come of letting them know he's aware of it now.]
Escaping a situation like this doesn't just happen at random.
[ jamil was upset? Kalim can't quite make sense of the reaction, except that he feels guilty for doing that to him. perhaps not mentioning it at all was the right call. Kalim frowns, concern apparent in his face. And he stops rocking distractedly, straightens up ]
Are you upset?
[ the gears are trying to turn. he's trying to infer something. He's trying to communicate.
And instead, he gets up only to move and sit next to Jamil in the booth, leaning against him heavily without thinking about how that might be taken. ]
[Might he have snapped at Kalim's sheer obliviousness, normally? Or pushed him away, at the very least? Instead, he's..... he doesn't know. Grateful, he guesses? The idea is horrifying in its implications, (not the least because of his own unique magic's capabilities) but better to know he's been deceived, manipulated, violated, controlled than to live in blissful ignorance. At least maybe he can try to figure out how to protect himself somehow, if he's aware of the danger.
Maybe he can figure out how to protect Kalim from this somehow, too. It's..... actually reassuring, having him so near. Can Kalim feel the way his heart is pounding, leaning against him like this? What a strange feeling, being so acutely aware of his own helplessness feeling frightening for once instead of absolutely infuriating. They're both still just teenagers, after all. What are they supposed to do against the sheer enormity of the disaster they've found themselves in?]
It's fine. Whatever they're doing to us, it's dangerous--far more dangerous than anything I'm capable of.
[ is jamil really dangerous? Kalim supposes that he could see why others might think that... but honestly, if they asked him, he would say that Jamil was far from it. Even if he lied about it. He 'hmms' as he considers what Jamil said.
Is the real problem that he's worried? That makes sense, Jamil always worries, even when doing so won't really help them... And yet, he knows that it isn't exactly unwarranted.
So, should he distract him? how?
He'd say they should leave but... this was important for Jamil. He needed a submissive to be contracted to, or else he'd get in trouble.
(the thought makes his heart ache, and so he immediately speaks instead) ]
Well, right now it's not so bad, right? And later, I can show you some of the nicer places to visit. Who knows, maybe it'll help you think clearer!
[Even his most earnest attempts had never been this..... this professional. This slick. Kalim has always at least been aware of the fact that he's been losing time, even if he had successfully convinced him that he was prone to nodding off at the worst possible times. And yet..... he doesn't remember this place. At all. He doesn't even remember any time that he could have gone missing, nor anything subtly off that could betray fabricated memories to cover up the discrepancies caused by his absence. This..... is absolutely perfect, practiced, seamless.
He's overwhelmingly envious, even if it makes his blood runs cold.
He should learn from them, if he can--not only for the sake of escaping, (again?) but for his own personal growth as well. Just because he gets average marks in alchemy doesn't mean he's bad at it by any means--he'll just need to start seriously studying science, if he can slither his way into their captors' good graces enough to gain employment with them. All he needs to start with is a foot in the door somehow, so he can work towards gaining their trust.....
At least developing the first inklings of a plan means he has something to cling to, some rock to steady himself with as the storm rages around (and within) him. Far better to plan for the future, as the Sorcerer of the Sands would surely have done, rather than to make himself sick stressing out over hypotheticals.]
.....I suppose so. We'll just have to see, won't we?
[Right. Yes. He still needs to deal with the fact that Kalim is here. He'll still need to find the time to watch over him, just as he always has. He can't get too ahead of himself with this sort of big picture thinking, or he'll forget to attend to all the tiny mundane details that will need to fall into place, to lay the groundwork for those grander plans.
Calm down. Focus.
A steadying breath, and Jamil reaches into his pocket to pull out an engraved key. (Strange, he doesn't even think to grumble to himself about Kalim invading what little privacy he'll have.) He offers it over for Kalim to examine; if he's been here so long, he probably knows the building, doesn't he?]
It seems they've set aside an entire apartment building to serve as a dormitory of sorts. Every newly taken Dominant has been assigned a room there.
[ Kalim has no clue where it is. though he turns over the key before looking back at Jamil, ]
You'll have to show me.
[ and also-- offering the key back. Jamil can't give him his only key-- Kalim already has a place to stay, after all. And he couldn't impose. ]
There was something similar for Submissives, but I didn't really stay there. Lilia found me and invited me over right away! So that's where I've been ever since!
[Of course he will. Why is he not surprised that he'll be the one finding their way, even though he's only been here for a matter of hours, compared to Kalim's apparent months? Somehow, he can't find it in himself to be irritated; Jamil just tucks the key back into his pocket with a twinge of unremarked on exasperation, and hopes that it isn't too far from this cafe they've been sent to. As long as they have GPS, they'll be fine, right?]
Good. Everything I heard suggested the Submissive accommodations are insecure and poorly appointed; we can take a look at my assignment, and I'll walk you home.
[After all, he'll need to know the way to Lilia's as soon as possible himself, if he intends to keep an eye on Kalim. He'll have to thank Lilia for making sure Kalim didn't have to brave these dangerous Submissive slums, won't he? Perhaps a meal will be good enough.]
[ oh... it's kind of like home. He really didn't realize how much he missed Jamil walking him home-- it actually makes his heart feel... hm... light? And he beams up at Jamil at the suggestion. ]
Sure!
[ he'd want Jamil to visit too. though, Lilia's place is pretty small... still, for visits it should be fine. ]
Oh, you should come for dinner!
[ he is absolutely going to attempt to cook for him. in fact, the way his eyes stare deeply at him implies he won't take no for an answer. ]
[It's a strange, awkward, viscerally uncomfortable thought. Kalim shouldn't need to cook for him, even if he's been forced to do so to protect himself from poison. That's not how things are supposed to be. Maybe he needs to get used to that being how it is here, needs to readjust his understanding of his place in this new society, but.....
He can't just rewire his brain overnight. Besides, this is only a temporary setback caused by some overwhelmingly powerful pack of inscrutable villains..... right? Right?]
[Kalim isn't going to just let this go, is he? He'll just..... have to humor it and help him pull it off, the way he does with any other scheme the boy comes up with. Surely Kalim won't rebuff him at least bringing a bottle of wine or something similar, even if he wants to do all the cooking himself.
That said..... even if he accepts this bizarre role reversal, he still has reservations about the idea. Big, glaring, Lilia-shaped reservations. Will he need to bring some sort of medicines or antidotes with him, too?]
You don't get any..... help in the kitchen, do you?
Hmph..... At least you get the help you actually need, then.
[Is it a little too obvious that he's relieved at the thought? Sorry, Lilia. He'll have faith in your capabilities once you've proven yourself worthy of it. Just because you're knowledgeable doesn't mean you're actually competent, or even just willing to put that knowledge to good use.
It seems this Ruby girl has been watching Kalim's back, at least. Just what sort of person is she? Aside from yet another person he doesn't want to have to be indebted to, of course.....]
[ Kalim doesn’t think to explain who Ruby is, since it sounds like Jamil is agreeing to let him cook for him. So instead, he leans against him again, pleased. ]
Then it’s settled!
[ and now he’s trapped. Kalim just… missed him so much. ]
[Yeah, it's settled. He's been cornered once again, just as easily as he has been in this booth. It's strange to see Kalim so relieved to see him, when they had only just parted mere hours ago..... but he supposes he'll just have to deal with that same jarring incongruence with everyone from school, won't he? Sheesh, as if this place isn't making his head hurt enough.....
Whatever fresh hell their captors intend to put them through, though? It seems some things in life never change. (No matter how much he might wish they would.) Somehow, in spite of himself, Jamil finds his arm ends up loosely slung around Kalim's shoulders as the boy leans against him. It's not quite cuddling back, but..... It's better than Kalim really has any grounds to hope for these days, isn't it? He'll just have to take what he can get.]
Kalim's heart skips a beat, and he glances down. no, no, this isn't good. Jamil's just humoring him, he can't just--
he can't just look up at him like a lovesick puppy. but he wants to. still, he glances away, seeming to think. ]
There are a couple of places that have music, even musicians in the streets. I think you'd enjoy dancing to some of them, too. So, even if we're trapped here... It's not so bad.
I'll just have to take your word for it, for now. After so long here, I'm sure you've found a few favorite places to show off.
[Something curdles and knots tight in the pit of his stomach, cold and bitter like grief--but somehow, he doesn't have the heart to scold or lecture while they're sitting together like this. Even if that's a hopelessly naive perspective..... it's still a sincere one. Kalim probably is able to allow himself to be fairly happy here. But him.....
He can't forget about the bracelet binding his wrist like a shackle, or the collar cinched around Kalim's neck like a noose. He can't forget that every privilege he's being allowed--no, being forced upon him--is a double-edged and poisoned blade, that he's truly no more free than Kalim is now. Nothing he has is truly his own anymore, even what the Scalding Sands had once had no right to take from him. He may not be as poorly off as Kalim is--but it certainly feels as though he's more acutely aware of the harsh realities of their predicament.
It isn't as though he'll be able to do anything about it anytime soon, though..... So sure, why not look around at the musicians Kalim has found sometime? Maybe they'll make things feel a little more bearable.]
[It's not Jamil who answers Kalim's knock today--but rather, a blue-haired young man casually beckoning him inside. Don't mind him trying to close the door a little faster than might be strictly polite--there have been quite a lot of creatures swarming the city and trying their best to sneak into buildings recently, after all. Golfball-sized little winged rabbits, fluttering about in little bursts of colorful light and glitter, eager to say hello to anyone hey can.....
Aren't they adorable? And so curious and friendly! Too bad they seem irresistibly drawn to bite anything they can get their little fangs on, especially exposed skin. Fingers, noses, ears..... Surely they're just playing around, right? It isn't as though anything so small could cause any real harm.]
Hey there. You must be Kalim, yeah? Your buddy's in the kitchen.
You know it! Just signed on this morning, actually.
[Have a firm shake, Kalim. You'd better hide your little friend pretty well; you wouldn't want him getting kicked out once Jamil comes out to greet you, would you?]
Name's Erik, by the way. Nice to meet ya. Guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, huh?
[He could have come picked you up from the Down, you know. But in the meantime, guess who's still cooking instead of trusting the prepared meals they could just order to spare himself the trouble? If the first thing he was offered in this place was tainted, then.....]
[ he knows how to navigate the up, after all, he works there now. the bunny that had hitched a ride, however, to get out of the cold... pops its head up out of his jacket. and then hops up onto his head from there. ]
That's right. It should be easier to live on two incomes than one--and the sooner the better, while we're still getting on our feet.
[Good, good. He knows how distracted Kalim can get; he wouldn't have been surprised to get a call and find that Kalim had lost his way, or to see him show up loaded down with shopping bags from an unexpected stop.
That said, Jamil can't help but huff in annoyance at the sight of a tiny, furry shape scampering up onto Kalim's head; he sets his spoon down, instead reaching for a dish towel to toss over it like a net.]
They're pests, is what they are. Probably carniv--don't just pick it up with your bare hands!
[Idiot! Does Kalim have any idea where that thing has been? Or what kind of infection he might get if it bites him? Maybe he can get it before it causes any trouble--]
They're wild animals, of course they're probably hungry. But whatever their prey is, they're not going to find it in here. Let's get it outside, and get that bite cleaned.
[Is it any wonder he's fussing, seeing that Kalim is bleeding? Who knows, this creature could even be diseased somehow. Just because it's small doesn't mean it can't cause big trouble!]
Nothing good can come of making wild animals rely on humans for food. Come on.
[Well, there's not much more harm a second bite could do, now that it's already happened. At least the creature doesn't seem to mind being held or stroked..... Kalim puts a hand on Kalim's back, gently but pointedly urging him towards the front door.]
[Jamil closes the door behind them again, raising his eyebrow as he takes Kalim's hand to clean it up. Barely more than a paper cut..... He hardly even has to think, to let a trickle of healing magic tingle against Kalim's fingertips and smooth over his skin.]
Look, I don't like having to participate in this travesty any more than you do. But if we want to survive, we just have to keep our heads down and do as we're told for now.
[He's right here. They're even touching, at least as long as he's taking care of the bite. How much more does Kalim really need to consider them to not be apart? Is he just confused because it's been so much longer for Kalim than it has been for him, or is this just..... nonsensical?
It isn't as though they could live communally like in Scarabia, in a place like this. Not without Lilia moving back into these apartments, which he obviously wouldn't be willing to do. And if he means literally living together..... It's not legal for two Dominants to share any sort of home, even if they keep their own Submissives, is it? They'd said you could let Submissives that aren't your own visit for a few days, but.....
Seven save him. With a Submissive of his own occupying the spare room now, he'd have to share his own bed. What a headache. Does Kalim seriously mean he should be Jamil's Submissive? There are so many things wrong with that suggestion, he doesn't even know where to begin. How inappropriate it is given their professional relationship, how irresponsible it is given their current circumstances.....
He should have known Kalim wouldn't actually share his feelings on the situation they're in. That's all on him, for daring to hope Kalim might understand his position a little more now.]
Kalim, you're already contracted. To one of your closest friends. You've made a commitment to Lilia for at least until its terms expire.
[ wait, what is he saying?? he places a hand to his head-- Jamil is right, but also that should be his choice. Kalim didn't want to just say something like that to influence him... No...
He steps back. ]
Ahahaha, you're right...
[ where did the desire to even say that come from?? and now... well, he's lucky that Jamil doesn't look too upset. So, maybe it didn't matter that much?
[Is it any wonder that someone so keenly attuned to another's safety and comfort would note the sudden tension and confusion gripping him? He had initially assumed this was simply born of spontaneous impulse, the way so many of Kalim's schemes are--but he actually seems distressed right now. As though he hadn't actually meant to say it. As though he regrets it? Why say anything at all then, unless it was some heat of the moment confession..... in spite of the fact that the moment wasn't heated?
Since when can Kalim keep secrets from anyone, let alone him? What had happened to him? Is he sick? Drugged? Poisoned? He had seemed fine when he arrived, and he hasn't eaten or drank anything since he got here--even ignoring the fact that anything Jamil made would obviously be clean. So..... poison, then? Do any bats have venom? It's certainly possible; those damn vermin probably feed on blood. Who knows what kind of transmittable diseases they could be carrying, too?
He knew handling those things bare-handed was a bad idea. Dammit! He can circle back around to actually letting himself think about any of this when there are less pressing matters to take care of.]
If you still feel that strongly about it, we can discuss it more when your contract expires. For now, you should at least sit down. How do you feel?
[ he frowns at that first statement, completely ignoring the second. instead, he shakes his head, even though he wants to drop it ]
What do you want?
[ he asks instead, more insistent. He doesn't want to be taken care of right now. and even though he wants to drop it, his mouth is moving ahead without him thinking ]
I want to figure out if you need a doctor. What else?
[Obviously. Why wouldn't this take priority? Does he need to call Lilia? He's Kalim's primary caretaker right now, after all--and with all those familiars he brought to school with him, Lilia should have some idea of what a bat--rabbit? Rabbat? Batbit?--bite might do to someone, even a strange, potentially magical chimera of one.]
Do you? Why were you holding your head like that, then?
[Can Kalim really be sure he's fine, without being looked over by someone familiar with those creatures? It's always better to head off potential problems, after all--what he really wants is no more trouble. What he wants is to not have to deal with any of this bullshit. What he really wants.....
Seven, he's so tired, right down to his soul. What he really wants is for everything to stop being so wrong.]
As if that isn't proof enough you need to be taken care of right now..... Slipped out because you spoke without thinking, or slipped out even though you were actively trying not to say anything?
[One is mere carelessness, the other proof of being influenced by something outside of his control. Kalim understands how dangerous such a seemingly tiny difference can be, doesn't he?]
As I said, you should really sit down. Do you feel anything different than normal, aside from saying things when you don't want to?
[The latter, then. It has to be the latter. How is it that Kalim is actually holding things back, when he always seems to run his mouth without the slightest hesitation to consider what he's saying? What else has he been biting his tongue about? When he'd said he hates that Jamil has a Submissive other than him, he'd meant.....
Ridiculous. Lilia and Cater are Kalim's best friends, the ones who actually like him. Even if Kalim abandoned Lilia for his sake, that wouldn't actually make him happy. Surely Kalim would just be miserable for it, shattering Lilia's trust by breaking their contract, living under the control of a traitor who had nearly killed him. Wouldn't he?]
[ he shakes his head, guilt starting to flood his mind. He'd been so quick to dismiss it, but Jamil really had just been looking out for him this whole time. It made his jealousy over--
well... Over Jamil not even trying to ask him...
It made it seem that much smaller of him. His smile is a bit subdued, but it's still there. ]
No, I think that's it. Ahh, sorry. I hadn't considered it until you said something.
[ he can't quite make himself laugh it off-- at least not yet. ]
It's fine. It's difficult to realize your own mind has been altered, isn't it?
[Jamil puts a hand on Kalim's shoulder to gently steer him towards the couch; if it's really so insidious, then he should probably keep an eye on him for now, hmmm?]
Would you mind looking through the network for anything about rabbit bites?
Those Teeny Sanguini things, you mean? Sure, I'm on it.
[There, now he'll be cleared out of the way for a while and doing something useful. If Kalim really is feeling like this, it's probably better the two of them don't have to spend time together for the moment, right? They can just..... figure out what happened, and what he needs.]
[ huh? did he really have to leave? That was odd. It sticks out to him, even as he sits down like Jamil's guiding him to. it still felt unnecessary, when the worst thing that had happened so far was him saying something he didn't actually want to say.
But...
Maybe Jamil was right. And he really should stop questioning it. After all, that just made him feel worse. And who knows when one of them might leave again-- a feeling that causes a tightness in his chest. He really should just trust him.
After all, it's not like he knows any better either. ]
I could ask around too!
[ he offers instead, two immediate names coming to mind. and he's digging out his phone, focusing on that for now. ]
[Maybe he is being a little too jumpy about this. After all, it's not guaranteed that this is a disaster, is it? There are worse things than being forced to speak your mind--even if having the thoughts dragged out of you is bad enough all by itself. Maybe he's just anxious because speaking your mind is potentially so dangerous for him, while someone of Kalim's status would find it a mere inconvenience. But given the unnatural role reversal they've been subjected to, doesn't that mean it really is dangerous for Kalim in this city?
Hah..... as if Kalim has ever had a treasonous or subversive thought in his life. Even the worst guards here probably couldn't find anything to be angry about if Kalim spoke candidly with them, without making accusations up entirely. Meanwhile, even as a Dominant here..... he'd probably end up far worse off than just arrested.
Still..... this could just be the first step, too. Some poison takes a while to kick in. Some illnesses can incubate for days before the true misery they inflict makes itself known. Who knows what simply blurting things out could progress into? Jamil settles down next to Kalim, close enough to be able to watch him carefully--and definitely not because it's close enough that Kalim could lean against him, if he needs to.]
You probably do know who's been around for the longest..... Surely at least one of them has prior experience with these things.
Hah..... Somehow, I wonder if Floyd would even notice.
[He's spent enough time with Floyd at Basketball Club to know just how..... flighty the man is. Impulsively speaking his mind seems to be Floyd's default state, not something he'd need to be sick or poisoned to induce.
That said, he is very pointedly assuming that Kalim has paid social visits to all of his friends, and enjoying their hospitality just as much as he enjoys showing his own. If his assumptions are wrong, he doesn't need to know. Given the "caliber" of classmates they attended Night Raven College with, why would he have any desire to know about their sexual exploits? Strangers are much safer and easier.]
Both the Leech brothers, hmmm..... Seven help us if Azul were here, too.
[Ugh. Ugh. Azul is a far slimier leech than either of the twins could ever hope to be. Knowing him, Azul would not only have antidotes prepared for these creatures, but also sell them at a steep markup. It's possible Jade would know, with his interest in flora and fauna..... But he has to admit, someone who runs a potion shop sounds more knowledgeable and promising than either of them.]
You're welcome to call any of them, if you think they might have some answers.
I don’t know if they do or not, but it wouldn’t hurt, at least.
[ he answers easily enough, and all it would take is a well crafted text. Which means it probably won’t be well crafted, just earnest and honest instead. Something to distract him from the occasional pangs of jealousy he feels and has to bite down.
He can’t force Jamil into that sort of situation. He knows he can’t, and with Jamil taking their positions at home so seriously still…
[Jamil glances at the screen over Kalim's shoulder as the boy types, humming thoughtfully. Understating the situation a bit, isn't he? Of course Kalim isn't as worried about his own condition as he should be. He never thinks about the consequences or mundane practicalities of what he says and does: how dangerous things can get, how much extra work he gives Jamil people, how much money he might be spending, how it might affect his reputation.....
.....Or does he? What a strange thing to question, when it's been a universal constant for what seems like their whole lives. But hearing this outburst now..... Just because he hates having his privacy violated doesn't mean he has any qualms about prying into others' affairs. He can use this, if it turns out the consequences of being bitten are as minor as Kalim seems to believe.
After all, Kalim has been here for some time, now--things are bound to have changed. Knowing exactly where Kalim stands can only be beneficial in the long run, even if he has a sneaking suspicion that he's going to hate dealing with it in the moment.]
While we wait for their answers..... there isn't anything else you need to get off your chest, is there?
[Start broad. Start simple. Yes or no questions are a good foundation to begin fishing for specific details, once he gets a better idea of what he's working with, is able to define what the rules of this malady are. If this is a game of pulling things to the surface of Kalim's thoughts and just waiting for them to spill out of their own accord, then patience is the word of the day.]
Hmph..... I should have known better than to distract you while you were busy. My mistake.
[Typical. That's on him for expecting Kalim to be able to split his attention, isn't it? Maybe Kalim will at least feel better, seeing the rueful look on Jamil's face softening his obvious worry.]
I asked if there was anything else you've been meaning to tell me.
[Jamil doesn't need to say "I told you so." over this, does he? Surely Kalim is realizing the severity of the predicament he's in. Maybe not regretting his actions the way he should, but..... he'll take a clear awareness that what's happening to him is cause for alarm, over blithely insisting that everything is fine.]
Such as.....?
[And now, like turning on a faucet, the words should come gushing out, shouldn't they? He doesn't like the thought that there may be things he doesn't know, things he's overlooking, let alone things being deliberately hidden from him..... It's unnatural, after Kalim has spent his whole life considering him his confidant. It's.....
No. He just hates being caught unprepared and in the dark, that's all. Nothing more. It's not as though he's falling back on hypnotizing Kalim again, so it's fine, right? He's just..... giving Kalim an opportunity to speak his mind, not forcing him to do anything. Nothing wrong with that.]
[ he doesn't move his hands. he wants to tell him everything on his mind, but this would just make Jamil upset. He doesn't want that, more than anything else. Not every thought he has is a big deal, but some experience has taught him that... well, they could be big deals to someone else.
And Jamil was always worrying.
His eyebrows crease together as he looks at Jamil, very seriously, refocusing his thoughts, ]
I don't want you to worry or be upset, it's not that big of a deal that--
[ his hands clamp over his mouth again, muffling what he says next ]
[That much is obvious, with how hard Kalim is trying to resist the impulse to talk. But this is an important experiment, isn't it? If Kalim knows he hasn't been heard, does he feel compelled to speak up more clearly until he's been understood? Or is that impulse satisfied by simply saying it once, even if nobody heard him? Sorry, Kalim--you don't seem to be in immediate danger yet, so while your friends are getting back to you, he can afford to be a little calculating.]
Kalim finds it hard to believe-- and he knows now that Jamil will lie and say what he wants to get something but also, what if he isn't lying?
still, there are a lot of thoughts percolating in his head and he shakes his head.
He doesn't really want to talk about the stuff that's happened, or how easy it is to not feel like yourself, or how he's struggling to manage the thought of Jamil having to make quota without that jealousy. all of these things are too much, and obviously confusing. ]
Well, well..... Can you really just will yourself not to say anything, if you're trying hard enough? Maybe those things are some sort of direbeasts with a cursed bite, instead of normal animals.
[It makes no sense, if he's honest. A human is dozens, maybe hundreds of times more than one of those rabbits could possibly eat, and they don't seem to hunt in packs. And forcing someone to tell the truth doesn't seem to be conducive to keeping someone still enough to drink their blood, if that's what they feed on.
Is there some hidden danger here they're not seeing yet? Some long-delayed symptoms, if it's actually venom and not a curse? Is the point to freeze their victim in emotional distress, or for one scout to lock multiple people in turmoil so the whole colony can descend on all of them and drain them dry? That's not something any of them need to worry about, as long as they stay inside. The more he's watching Kalim, though, the longer they're going without any other symptoms becoming apparent.....]
You mean there are worse ways to be subjected to outside influences, I take it? Maybe you'd better start at the beginning.
[What is the beginning? He doesn't know. Kalim probably doesn't know either, but this..... whatever it is might be able to latch onto the suggestion somehow. Is Kalim really in any position to worry about him, when he's the one who might need a doctor? He's.....
He'll be fine. Being fine is what Jamil does best, after all. What's one or two more things to worry about?]
Who wouldn't worry about something like that?! Aphrodisiacs aren't meant to be so literal!
[No. No, no, no, nope, absolutely not. He is not going to be the one to have the "you cannot give consent if you're drunk" conversation with Kalim. That's Lilia's responsibility. Whoever..... deflowered Kalim..... Jamil refuses to damage their relationship by pointing out they forced themselves onto him. Odds are both parties were drugged, after all--they probably couldn't help it any more than Kalim could. Not that it makes things any better, by any means.....
If anything, it only makes Jamil's pure disgust for this whole situation and their captors burn that much deeper. What kind of sick bastards would do this to people?!]
I see now why they try to force refreshments onto people.
[Kalim doesn't eat or drink outside his own home anymore, and he still ends up drugged somehow? To say that's troubling would be an understatement. How else are they even supposed to protect themselves, at this point? How could he not be stressed out, knowing they're apparently constantly at risk with no way to hold onto their senses and sound judgment?!]
That's why I didn't want to tell you! I don't want you to worry! Especially since someone like you would be really careful, and maybe it wouldn't affect you at all...
Who wouldn't worry about magic weather?! Somehow, I don't think remembering to carry an umbrella would be enough to make any difference.....
[Kalim has way, way too much faith in him, if he thinks just being careful is enough to somehow negate entire weather patterns. Maybe they weren't kidnapped at all. Maybe they've all just died, and this is Hell.]
[They had to wear masks just to go outside, masks which were prone to breaking for some reason. Probably by design, if the rest of this cesspool of a city is anything to go by. That means it has to be something airborne, and houses and apartments most certainly aren't airtight. The evidence for this being Hell is mounting more and more by the second.
Give him a minute to just..... stop thousand yard staring into the distance, and pull out his device to add masks to a shopping list. Better to have something like that before it becomes necessary. Let him guess, are there no sorts of weather forecasts that could predict what should be rightly considered some kind of natural disaster? Of course there wouldn't be. Could you even tell it was happening, before you unwittingly stepped outside and lost your mind?]
It's not your fault. There's no planning around what I don't know about; I'm..... glad you told me. Thank you.
[Jamil just shakes his head dismissively, scrubbing at his face in wordless weariness. Better to find out about this from Kalim now, than walk face-first into it and be confused and taken by surprise..... As if there wasn't enough already to try and think of contingencies for. These rabbit creatures are already a nasty enough unknown to deal with.]
I suppose..... But even so, that still doesn't mean we can just sit on our laurels.
[Not when there's still the issue that sparked this whole conversation to begin with. Excuse him if he glances at Kalim's device; does Rayne or Floyd have anything to say about these tiny menaces?]
[Sigh. Who knows how quick Floyd will be to respond without knowing what his mood is at the moment? He could just as easily respond in 10 minutes or 10 hours.]
Have you seen how many rabbits are out there? That hardly seems like a wise course of action.
[Absolutely not. It's bad enough that Kalim's already been bitten; he has no intention of risking himself unnecessarily. Unless, of course, it's to walk Kalim home and make sure he doesn't end up in an even worse state somehow.....]
One of us has to stay healthy, just in case the symptoms get worse.
[He admits nothing. He's just being careful, it's definitely nothing deeper than that. Why would Kalim ever think he'd struggle more with being honest? That's just ridiculous.]
[ he opens his eyes, and then laughs, completely cheerful ]
Oh! Sorry... I felt a little like I was blanking out for a second. I can't think of anything that isn't a little impacted by this place, if you don't wanna go outside!
[Does he really have to worry him like that? Geez..... He's not even the one causing the spacing out these days.]
I'm not so easily offended that I can't handle vulgar subject matter, if that's what you're worried about. If nothing else, you can at least stay for dinner; I'd just about finished by the time you came.
[ his eyes light up, and suddenly, he is leaning in close. even if he's been cooking for himself, it can't be denied... there's no one else whose cooking he loves more than Jamil's.
and if Jamil's made something, Kalim absolutely wants to eat it. ]
[ Time to surge forward, pressing against Jamil happily, distractions forgotten as he's distracted. without even paying attention to what he's doing, he simply leans forward to kiss Jamil quickly ]
For a moment, Jamil just freezes up entirely rather than return the kiss, wide-eyed and flustered as Kalim presses against him. There's no hood to hide the way he flushes, this time; instead, all he can do is awkwardly clear his throat. Maybe it's time to beat a hasty retreat.....]
I-it's been simmering for a few minutes now, so..... I should probably check on it.
[Maybe he can just..... will himself to stop being red. Or blame it on the chill. Honestly, for someone so concerned about watching inappropriate material on television, Kalim certainly doesn't seem to have any qualms about kissing a friend out of the blue..... Anyone would be shocked, right?
Just..... pretend nothing out of the ordinary happened. It's the simplest way to preserve his dignity. Jamil leads the way back into the kitchen, fishing a spoon out of the drawer to sample soup straight from the pot. No need to worry about poison here, hmmm?]
[It's fine.Everything is fine. This is just..... something Kalim does now, apparently. He's really going to give him a heart attack, one of these days..... How is anyone supposed to just get used to something like this??
Jamil pulls a bottle out of the fridge, carefully pouring and stirring. Should he portion out three servings? Hmmm, probably not; it'll stay hotter longer if he just leaves the rest in the pot. His Submissive will just come get some when he's hungry, right?]
There, it should be ready now. We'll just need to set the table.
[--really don't have to do that. Sigh. Kalim is already off and away before he can even finish his thought. Even if he wasn't though, would Kalim actually listen? Well, at least he can't hurt himself with silverware and placemats.....
Whatever. He'll just..... ladle out two bowls for them, and set the empty one down once Kalim is done contemplating Jamil's poor life choices. ]
That's up to him, isn't it? He'll come when he's ready.
[Dinner was practically already ready by the time Kalim showed up to begin with, after all; nothing's stopping the guy. If he prefers to eat alone, that's fine, isn't it? Or far more likely, he'd immediately cottoned onto the fact that they needed a little space to talk. You can't exactly become a thief worth your salt without having a talent for reading people, can you?]
Was there ever any doubt? I'm not going to insist he lives on a schedule while we're not being watched.
[Outside of these walls, he'll play the role he's been forced into, however reluctantly it may be. Here, though..... Jamil just wants to be free. He doesn't want to control the Submissive he was forced to hire any more than strictly necessary. How could he consider a stranger family, just because they decided to live together out of convenience? They've barely even known each other a day. A city like this, a system like this..... it doesn't exactly give you much time or opportunity to form a meaningful connection with someone.
Unlike Kalim, he hadn't had the luxury of someone conveniently free to sign a contract with him immediately. All the familiar faces here had prior commitments to honor, Kalim included--and even if they hadn't, most of them he wouldn't want to live with anyway.]
[ Kalim just laughs, and in the meantime, takes his first sip of the soup. his face brightens in an instant-- while it had been fun to get to practice cooking so much... he really missed Jamil's cooking.
It almost felt like home, again, where they could share a meal, and all of his troubles would fade away ]
Ahhh, it's perfect as usual! I really missed eating your cooking...!!
I'm glad to hear it. You won't need to anymore, will you?
[Now that he's here, he'll actually be able to keep an eye on Kalim and his diet again. He'll be able to bring things over, if Kalim doesn't decide to come by on his own initiative--even if it's going to be a real headache, routinely hauling food through a security checkpoint and down an elevator. What good would complaining do, though?
He'll manage. He always does.]
They allowed me to order groceries instead of prepared meals, so I should be able to bring down anything you need, as well.
It's fine. Besides, you three could be using that money for other things, couldn't you? Or at least saving it for emergencies, in case someone gets hurt.
[None of them asked to be here, after all. Why shouldn't they milk this """generosity""" for all it's worth, if they're going to be forcibly held here against their will? If they don't need to worry about the basic necessities of survival, their money can go towards safety and comfort--or, if they're really unlucky, bail or bribes.]
As long as I stay in this building, I don't need to pay for rent or food--and I don't intend to go anywhere, for now. Who am I to refuse such hospitality?
[Is it taking advantage of a charitable offer? Oh, shamelessly. But if they have the money to run this kind of interdimensional kidnapping business, then he doesn't feel even the slightest bit of remorse over letting them bankroll an extra household. If they bankrupt themselves trying to support their captives, and can't sustain their own operations, so much the better!]
[It's a pleasant drive from the airport. Good music, good snacks, barely any traffic--Jamil really couldn't ask for a smoother arrival. There isn't even any need to fight for a parking space, even though this should by rights be prime vacation season. A refreshingly easy load to bring inside, too--traveling by himself means he can travel light, with only one person's needs to worry about. It's strange how quiet and empty the lobby is, though--the Seven Jeweled Hills is so scenic it does a bustling tourism business, doesn't it? He'd researched his whole trip extensively, after all.
And yet, ringing the bell on the desk repeatedly doesn't summon any staff to help him, doesn't even bring anyone to scold him for making a racket. Nobody appears even when he lets himself behind the desk and tries opening the employees only door. A completely empty manager's office, silent and still as the grave. The keyboard behind the desk is even a little dusty, in a way that makes his hackles raise without quite knowing why. It's not hard to figure out how to use, (isn't this illegal? Who's even going to know, if there's nobody to check the security cameras?) or to realize that there's nobody booked in at all. Why, though?
Well, if there's nobody to help him, he'll just..... have to help himself. He's perfectly capable of taking care of himself, after all. If anything, it'll be a welcome change to figure things out without needing to worry about watching over anyone else. A moment of hesitation, and Jamil pockets an entire keyring, grabbing his suitcase and heading off. May as well make sure he can go wherever he wants if there's nobody to stop him, hmmm? Nobody to tell him what to do, or what he can't do..... Until he finds someone else, or determines for certain that he is completely alone, this entire place is his to do with as he pleases.
How..... "fun". He has to admit, this isn't exactly the kind of freedom he'd been envisioning this trip would give him. Is this just some sort of abandoned branch that was mistakenly still listed on the website, yet hadn't been locked up and condemned? Is he really allowed to be here? Should he call the police?]
[ kalim feels a sort of freedom as he wanders around, knowing that he could go anywhere he wants, though he doesn't remember... why. But that freedom is very quickly overwhelmed with a growing sense of panic. He walks from room to room, calling out the names of his siblings, his parents, the servants.
It doesn't even occur to him that the scenery is changing, that this isn't the al-Asim mansion, the Scarabia dorm, or the little cottage in the Down. The difference doesn't stand out to him so much as the overwhelming fear of being alone.
Finally, he calls out in a frightened voice, ]
Jamil??
[ someone, anyone, please... there has to be someone here, or else... or else... ]
[It's unnervingly peaceful here. The lights and air conditioning are on, and the sun is high in the sky. The doors open easily, and the elevator works, though Jamil decides it's probably unwise to actually use it. The beds are all neatly made, the rooms clean, awaiting their next guest. He still has cell reception and internet access. There's not a single trace of disaster here--no forcible entry, no burnt marks, no bodies, no blood. Not even in the service areas can he find anything actually wrong. So why does it all feel so wrong? This solitude is only making his skin crawl and heart race as though he's in some sort of horror movie.
Maybe he should just leave. He still has plenty of gas--he can just..... find some local to ask, and probably end up feeling completely absurd for making such a massive mistake in booking his lodgings. It isn't as though--]
Who's there?!
[Was that a voice? Jamil flattens himself against the nearest wall, drawing his magical pen--but his eyes glaze over Kalim without the slightest hint of recognition, even as he scans the hall for movement.]
[ he hears Jamil response, and the relief he feels...
he isn't alone. It was just a misunderstanding. And he puts the feeling he had just nearly been consumed with out of his mind entirely, running towards Jamil's voice.
Walls, space, they don't stop him. He almost feels like he passes through them, and sure enough when he finally does appear in front of Jamil, when he goes to hug him, he goes straight through him ]
-- Uwah! Huh?
But you're here! It's so quiet, huh! I was a little worried, ahahaha! What are you doing??
Hahaha..... Hearing things already, huh? Just my luck..... I'm going to end up needing a vacation from my vacation, at this rate.
[Jamil huffs in equal measures annoyance and relief, smile sardonic. Of all the times to let paranoia get to him..... This isn't some movie, it's real life. Even if this place is haunted, the odds that the ghost is actually hostile are pretty low. More to the point, even if there's a hostile ghost here, it's probably nothing he can't handle. He's fought ghosts before, after all, hasn't he?]
Is there even any point in checking the rest of the rooms? There's no way I'll actually find anyone in a place like this..... This is just a waste of time.
[Jamil shakes his head, turning away from Kalim and tucking his pen back into his pocket in favor of pulling his phone out.]
[ Kalim watches him turn and walk away, and he's frozen for a moment, his heart seizing in his throat. He has to force himself to be very still. Jamil is right there, but Jamil doesn't see him?
Ah... Is that how it is right now? ]
W...
[ he wants to say something, but his mouth isn't working, and when he finishes, it comes out more like a croak ]
Wait...!
[ and he follows behind him in a daze.
jamil is right there. but he's still alone. but jamil looks happy, so, it's fine?
it's fine. he'll just follow. He can watch, for now, til it makes sense to do something else. If it ever makes sense to do something else. ]
[Jamil pauses and peers over his shoulder, eyes narrowed suspiciously as he stares straight through Kalim. Had he heard footsteps? Seven, he's definitely letting his imagination run away with him, now. Being all alone in a place like this, that should be full of people and life..... It must just be getting under his skin. He'll just tap a few buttons, listen to the phone ring, and--no, that's definitely Kalim's voicemail. Jamil mutters a few exceptionally vulgar words under his breath.]
Kalim did say not to check in too often, didn't he? He's probably trying not to answer my number. Najima doesn't even answer her phone normally if you don't text ahead of time.....
Ugh, forget it. I'll just get a room somewhere else; I can always come back if they're booked up. Or maybe just sleep in the car?
[ he protests, following after him in confusion. why is this happening?? he rubs at his eyes... what is going on??
another attempt to touch him simply ends with his hand going through again, leaving his body shaking from the lack of impact. He lets out a small, frightened cry, and then presses his hands to his temples.
and just trying to not freak out. as his mind supplies what has happened. that he's a ghost. that they won't interact again. that Jamil thinks he doesn't want to hear from him. ]
No...
[ he ends up falling back and sliding down a wall.
[Jamil only shivers at the touch, shoulders hunching against the sudden chill. He hadn't thought the air conditioning was too strong, but..... well, what other explanation is there? He's spiritually sensitive enough he should be able to recognize any ghosts he comes across, even in a place that isn't as rich in magic as Night Raven College.]
What was next on the itinerary? A walking tour..... That's sure to be busy. It can't hurt to get an early start.
[There's no sense in lingering here..... But even so Jamil can't help but hesitate, confused and uncertain, shaking his head as he looks back towards where Kalim is huddled. What is he even looking for, at this point?]
[ Get up. He urges himself, just get up. Jamil would leave if he didn't, and he would be truly alone. Even being able to watch him, to watch over him, that was more important. If he just sat there, he would be alone.
Just, one small step.
He looks up, his breath still unsteady, and his body unbelievably heavy. But he slowly pushes himself up to his knees.
And then to his feet. ]
Wait...
[ he'll follow, but please don't leave without him. though, he can't help the tears that roll down his cheeks. ]
[Seven, his chest feels so tight. It's hard to shake the feeling that something is wrong, even if he can't put his finger on what. It's surely just the anxiety, though..... right?
A deep, shaky breath, and Jamil turns to go, Kalim close at his heels. Another momentary hesitation, and he decides not to leave the keys at the desk, just in case--he heads back to his car instead, slowing to peer into the windows of the other, clearly abandoned (but why?) vehicles as he passes. The engine turns on, the radio turns on..... He's starting to feel a little silly for freaking out, if he's honest--even if that nagging sense of wrongness is still making the hairs on the back of his neck prickle.
Everything is fine. He's fine. So what is it that makes him wait to go until Kalim is in the car with him?]
[ Kalim is relieved that Jamil is so cautious, especially when he feels so slow and heavy. the isolation of the whole situation... it's only when he's listening to the radio that he realizes what else is wrong.
Jamil's all alone. And he wipes his eyes, accepting that maybe Jamil can't see him. But he doesn't have to be alone-- isn't that how it works now? If he's a ghost, he'll have to get creative in other ways, until he can't be around at all anymore.
this music-- actually, it's a commercial, isn't it?? maybe they could find another station actually playing music.
that'll cheer him up. ]
Gotta get excited for the, uh... tour, right?? That's what we're doing?
[ the radio at least responds to him, until he can find actual music. ]
Hmmm? If this thing breaks on the first day, I swear--
[Oh, geez. He can't take his eyes off the road to check what the radio is doing, but breaking down on the side of the road is the absolute last thing he needs after a morning like this. It's a mercifully short drive, at least, and nothing else seems to be wrong..... until he pulls into the first parking space he finds, and actually looks around for the meeting place at the mouth of the trail.]
How is there nobody here?!
[You've got to be fucking kidding right now. For a moment, the horn blares as his grip on the steering wheel grows white-knuckled without thinking, the sound bizarrely distant and muffled, distorted. A place like this should be absolutely jam packed with groups coming and going, shouldn't it? Is he hallucinating right now? He's losing his goddamn mind to the tune of cheerful, energetic pop songs Kalim had found. If he weren't stressed beyond belief, it might actually be funny; this is hardly a fitting soundtrack for the horror movie his vacation feels like it's become.]
.....Is there even a point to still going.....? Could I make it home if I tried?
[Technically speaking, nothing is stopping him from just..... having his trip anyway. None of it needs other people to do anything for him so far. He could walk the trail alone easily and take in the sights. He could pick any room in that place, and cook and clean for himself. He could do absolutely anything he wanted--except enjoy himself, with this pervasive sense of dread hanging over him. But what if there's nobody that can get him back to the Scalding Sands? Or.....
What if there's nobody in the Scalding Sands to get back to? What if something happened? Maybe instead of picking either option, he'll spiral uselessly around hypothetical worst-case scenarios. That will surely help.]
[ Kalim doesn't know what is going on, but suddenly, he doesn't look happy? He reaches out, to almost touch him, his brows furrowed in concern. Focusing on Jamil, it makes the panic he felt a moment ago feel silly.
How could he be upset, when Jamil really is all alone? He just wishes he could let him know he was there. that he should enjoy his time alone, isn't this what he always wanted?
he's accepted his fate, but that's no reason for Jamil to not... to not... ]
Go and enjoy yourself anyway... I'll keep you company, even if you can't see me. You're free, right?
[ he motions as if he means to stroke his cheek, a momentary affection that he's always wanted to do, but never could while they were both alive. ]
[Jamil turns to reach for his phone again, shaking his head. Who is he even meant to call now? His parents? What would he even say? Maybe..... the airline? He could try to move his flight up, cut this trip short, just get out of here..... And hope the estate and his own family's home aren't this eerily empty once he gets back. It's not him causing all of this somehow, is it?
But he could swear he hears a voice, almost right next to his ear, and it almost feels like.....
All at once, there's a hand warm against his cheek, and he's not alone with his thoughts at all. There's a fleeting moment of something soft and vulnerable, relief alongside the confusion--until he consciously registers what he's seeing, and Jamil's expression turns to pure alarm. He doesn't have the presence of mind to flip into self-defense mode, thankfully--instead, he recoils with an undignified yelp of surprise, back hitting the car door so hard it rattles in its frame.
Thank the Seven the engine is already off, and his seatbelt was still on; the last thing either of them needs right now is the car rolling away while he's too spooked to keep his foot on the brakes, or Jamil falling out and hitting his head--or even worse, actually hurting Kalim before he realized it was him.]
No?? Literally nothing is obvious about you appearing out of thin air halfway around the world, and acting like you could collapse at any moment! Don't tell me you came all this way without any other staff?
[What is he supposed to think, when Kalim is sounding so..... so morbid? It sets his teeth on edge, with how out of character it feels. What does Kalim know that he doesn't, that's making things sound so dire?]
[And now his heart is pounding for an entirely different reason. Kalim had died? The very first day he'd even left? How? Why?! What had happened? They would have called him to rush home, wouldn't they? Could he have prevented it if he had been there, instead of off wasting his time like this? As many times as he's wished he didn't have to deal with Kalim, he still.....
Gods, he feels sick.
Kalim sounds so..... cavalier about it all. It's as though he doesn't even care. Does he remember how he died, or had it happened too fast? Was he unconcious for it? But..... he'd be able to see a ghost, wouldn't he? And Kalim's touch had felt so warm..... Had he even died at all? Ghosts normally struggle to physically interact with people outside of Halloween, or in the Spectral Realm, and they're in neither right now--that's why they'd needed to deal with them through magic. Something doesn't add up; even this level of panic can't shut down his constant, crippling overthinking habit mind entirely.
Jamil reaches out to pinch Kalim's arm, short and sharp.]
[ when he reaches out to pinch him, what had started as just a little bit of corporealness fades just as quickly. his hand phasing through Kalim, who seems to fade away just a little bit as he watches him. His expression is studying, almost unreadable for him, ]
Maybe that's how it normally is... I don't know why you could see me suddenly.
[ he's a little concerned, and reaches up to Jamil, miming cupping his face, as his hands seem to lose their shape, as he fades a little with that acceptance of death. ]
Let's go on that walk. Someone's gotta be there, right...?? I don't want you to be alone.
[It feels like his throat is being crushed in a slowly tightening vise, struggling to breathe as he swallows down a rising sense of panic. This doesn't make sense. They had touched only a moment ago, hadn't they? Even when it comes to magic, the laws of nature don't just change on a whim when nothing else about the situation has changed! So why?! What could possibly make Kalim more or less corporeal, more or less visible, more or less..... cohesive? Even ghosts shouldn't be so indistinct! Either they linger in the mortal realm, or they return to the Spectral Realm. Period. The End.]
I..... guess we may as well, since we're here. But I'm not exactly alone anymore, am I?
[ getting out of the car is easy for him, it's like... falling backwards, no need to even open the door. he just steps back, cheerful. Not realizing that Jamil is struggling. ]
[Of course Kalim wants to stay. That's all he's ever wanted, isn't it? And yet the moment Jamil himself had tried to escape, even temporarily..... What a sick, twisted joke. He can't even laugh. A trip like this certainly can't make him happy, now..... But maybe Kalim will be.
Jamil climbs out of the car and locks up, almost in a daze, hands staying tucked in his pockets as he puts away his keys; better he doesn't show the way his nails are digging into his palms to keep himself steady. He can do this. He can just..... lead the way, and talk about what he had researched. That's simple. It's easy. It's.....
It's not even remotely fine. He desperately doesn't want to be here anymore, even as he puts one foot in front of the other.]
It's..... a nature tour. The Seven Jeweled Hills are unique in their magestone formations; the microscopic crystals that grow here are flecked throughout the rock. They're so small that trying to mine them would just grind them into useless powder--but there are so many creating so much ambient magic that the land and water themselves supposedly glow like gems whenever it's dark.
It's home to plenty of protected magical plants and direbeasts. People claim the air and water here have all sorts of mystical benefits--but they also claim that it got its name from every one of the Great Seven apparently making a pilgrimage here at some point in their lives. So who knows?
This would definitely be the kind of place I'd want to visit! I wonder if you can see them glowing already??
[ he steps in front of Jamil, half tempted to break off, but stops himself, and turns around, reaching out to grab his sleeve. there's a moment where it looks like his hand might phase through-- but he seems to be solid again, as he tugs him along ]
Come on, come on!! I bet everyone's just inside already!
[He seriously doubts anything will be glowing, save perhaps the shadows, when the sun is so high in the sky--the hills might be sparkling from reflecting all that light, though? It's the reason he'd booked himself for a midday trip, as well as one well past sunset. His camera is still sitting in his luggage, in fact--but somehow, the very idea of bringing it along is distasteful. Something like this..... he doesn't think he'll be able to enjoy their surroundings, no matter how beautiful. Nor does he really..... want to hold onto memories of this trip, if he's honest.
Thinking about being out here, when he at best will need to help with funeral preparations once he gets back home, and at worst won't have a place to go back to at all..... These memories will only taste like bile and ash on his tongue.
Strange how grim his thoughts are, compared to how comically he stumbles over his own feet as Kalim pulls him along. He's not exactly the most focused right now, after all--how can he be, when he's not expecting Kalim to be solid again? It's almost like nothing is wrong with him at all, when Kalim is acting like this. Doesn't he realize the situation he's in?]
[ a pause, and he slows down for a moment. Wait... he was able to touch Jamil again?? He looks more seriously at where his arm is grabbing Jamil's, staring a little bit in disbelief. he hadn't thought anything of it when he reached out.
but he doesn't want to let go, not like when he couldn't touch his face anymore. he doesn't want to leave Jamil behind, and he's struck with the sudden fear that he will. And that everything will be gone soon.
It's like he short circuits. he doesn't want to die, but he knows it's going to happen, and he wants to enjoy every moment. but he doesn't want to be a ghost. and he doesn't want to abandon Jamil.
it's so quiet, but the thoughts in his head are so hard to ignore, he can't even remember what they were talking about. ]
[Whew, finally a moment to regain his balance. Not that actually being able to walk properly again leaves him feeling any less unbalanced at heart, given the circumstances..... What is he even supposed to say, at this point? What can he possibly do? At best, any words or gestures he could offer would ring hollow and false. At worst..... Kalim might actually realize how furious he should be with him.
Is that even possible? It's hard to imagine Kalim genuinely angry. It's..... unsettling, in a way he's not sure he could explain if he tried--much like how seeing the wind sucked out of Kalim's sails now leaves him feeling so viscerally uncomfortable. For once, Jamil doesn't try to pull out of Kalim's grasp; he simply hunches his shoulders awkwardly, lengthening his stride to catch up and ensure Kalim doesn't have to drag him. Today..... they can go together, can't they?]
[ he should move, that's right. He turns to look towards the hills. surely, they will be glowing. though, should he let Jamil go? He realizes now, selfishly, he doesn't want to let go. but Jamil wanted this trip for himself. Not to have to entertain him.
but what if next time, he can't grab him...?
he swallows nervously, his grip loosening, becoming more incorporeal as he overthinks it ]
[Somehow, Jamil can't find it in himself to smile, no matter how often he plasters them on for the sake of politeness or empty flattery in his daily life. He can at least try to offer some semblance of reassurance at least, even if he couldn't possibly believe his own words any less--it seems like the only thing he can do, feeling Kalim's grasp grow gradually more insubstantial and cold.
They're not going to find anyone out there. They're not going to find anything out there. Jamil knows that with more certainty than he should, heavy and cold in the pit of his stomach. How pretty the landscape is does nothing to alleviate his anxiety--especially when the farther they go, the lovelier and wilder it seems to get. A popular tourist attraction shouldn't have a trail that gets rougher and more overgrown, should it? The wilderness shouldn't be trying to reclaim this place, as though they're the only ones who have wandered through some distant, isolated grove in recent memory. There's a paved parking lot not that far away, for the Seven's sake.]
[ the best part of going where it’s more wild; there are more wild flowers strewn in and plants and hanging vines— the sort of things you could only see in the fanciest of garden in the Scalding Sands.
Kalim’s seen well kept gardens, but something like this seems precious and worth appreciating.
But better yet, it distracts him. And while his form doesn’t get anymore solid, it doesn’t seem as on the verge of disappearing as it did before. He lets go of Jamil’s arm to wander away, to see some of the plants with a smile.
He would’ve liked to come someplace like this before… but he’s glad he got to see it anyway. ]
This already was a really good idea, and we haven’t even gotten that far!
[ he says, turning on his heel wildly to grin at Jamil, hands and one leg extended in excitement ]
Let’s go, let’s go!
[ and off he darts, further down the path, disappearing around a bend ]
D-don't just run off on your own! You'll get lost!
[And isn't that a strange thought? You shouldn't be able to get lost somewhere so well-traveled..... and yet, it feels like there's a very real threat of the path disappearing entirely at any moment, swallowed up by undergrowth until they find themselves somewhere they're not meant to go at all. This isn't looking like any of the photographs he'd seen while researching. Sure, it's pretty, but.....
It's not right. It's not supposed to be like this. It's not what he'd expected, and more than anything else, Jamil hates surprises. Hasn't enough gone horribly wrong already today? He can't even be glad that Kalim has perked back up, when he immediately finds himself running to catch up with the boy to make sure they don't get separated. What the hell would he do if he ended up really all alone out here?]
[ he stops only when he gets to one of the glowing and sparkling areas, the flowers even more colorful there. Easy to catch up with him, and he looks more physically there than he has the whole time.
He just wants to see as much of this as possible. It’s too soon for him to go, they’ve only just started. ]
[Of course Kalim would run in a space where only he doesn't need to worry about tripping over rocks and roots. Isn't that just like him, glossing over anything inconvenient and leaving the rest of them scrambling to compensate? Ugh! Where are they even going in such a hurry? Kalim can't even enjoy the scenery if he's going this fast! If he trips, he really will lose sight of him, and then what?
Jamil is panting and ruffled by the time they stop, nearly pitching headfirst into water that shimmers like molten magestone from trying to stop so abruptly. The branches weaving overhead create an awful lot of natural shade..... But it doesn't feel dark, does it? Not with glittering rocks, and clusters of lanternblossoms growing along the water's edge, and wildflowers in fantastic colors that nature alone couldn't possibly produce.]
I..... I guess? What were you thinking, rushing off like that?
I wanted to see more. I haven’t been to a place like this before.
[ he says easily, turning to face him. ]
And then when I looked around, I understood why you wanted to go to this place too.
[ or maybe he didn’t, that causes a moment of hesitation, but he brushes past it to keep talking with enthusiasm. ]
This place is almost the opposite of the desert, while still being on land, right? But the way it sparkles reminds me of the desert in moonlight. So, it’s just different enough…
I’m glad I got to see this with you.
[ without thinking… he leans up and kisses his cheek ]
[Does Kalim actually understand why he wanted to come here? Does Jamil really understand why himself, even? He wanted.....
He doesn't know. Even as far away from the Scalding Sands as he can physically get, even in an environment as different from the desert as it could possibly be, even seeing the world with nobody and nothing to weigh him down..... He doesn't feel any better. None of this has managed to actually make him feel free, let alone happy. And mysterious circumstances aside, just look at what this idiocy has cost them. Kalim is.....
Kissing him? Why? He doesn't deserve this. He's the last person Kalim should--should be--
For a moment, his heart freezes in his chest. Jamil turns away to hide how his eyes start to burn, struggling futilely to keep his voice even.]
And look what happened because of it! Do you honestly think I can just stay here now?!
[There's no reason for him to be angry at Kalim. Kalim should be angry with him, if anything. But something feels like it's twisting and fraying and splintering inside him, like a jackal tearing its prey limb from limb. He can't help the way tears spill hot or his voice abruptly raises, facade of calm control shattering under the force of it.]
What do you think is happening back home right now?! I'll be lucky if the only thing that's waiting is planning a funeral!
It hasn't even been a full day. Do you realize that? The second I took my eyes off of you, tragedy strikes. Even you can't possibly be naive enough to actually believe this was a coincidence!
[How can Kalim be so calm about this? How does he even explain in a way he could understand? He can't just..... ignore the fact that he'd abandoned his responsibilities. He'd abandoned Kalim. He'd wanted to run away, even just for a little while..... How selfish can you possibly be?
It seems even less appropriate, trying to explain the dread of going home, given the state of Kalim right now. Everyone in the estate is going to be involved in the funeral of the heir, obviously--it can't possibly be a small scale event, when the Al-Asims are involved. But..... what if he no longer has a place in that household at all?]
That's why it had been so important that he never leave his side, especially for something so frivolous. That's why he had worked and worried all these years--because he and the others weren't just servants, were they? They were shields. They protected Kalim and the rest of the family from fate, no matter how inevitable it seemed, until the battle simply proved more than a match for them.]
Your family's estate could be run with half as many people, if all of you weren't in constant danger--and you have it worse than any of them! Why do you think I took over making and testing all your food?
[Idiot. Why would it matter if he had thought of Jamil like that or not? Someone had to step up and take responsibility for his well-being in all those seemingly insignificant day to day details, someone Kalim could trust. Maybe his trust had been misplaced--if the fact that they're having this conversation to begin with is any indication, then it obviously was--, but even so..... Doesn't this just prove how vitally important it had been? When had he forgotten that?]
he hates that, but its the first time he's ever really had to think about it. Or-- that somehow the dream didn't change in his mind, to something different.
Something happier. ]
... I'm really glad you won't ever have to do that again.
[ and then, the panic that he had forgotten about is back with a vengeance. his eyes sting, he drops down to his knees, trying to contain his tears, and failing. ]
You're.... You're definitely free of all of that.
[ his voice is trembling, and his head tilts forward. ]
I didn't want you to do that for me! I hated it! I'd rather have just continued on like before! That... that was better than making you deal with my troubles.
[ he can't look him in the eyes, the guilt is overwhelming. ]
You really think I would have just let you starve yourself to death?!
[He is free of all of that now, isn't he? It's questionable if he'll be welcomed back at all--and even if he is, who knows what role he'll be reassigned to? A family chef, maybe? Still a personal attendant, but responsible for a sibling less important than the next chosen heir?
But either way, that's not the point, is it? That's never been what he's actually needed to be free from. Who cares about spending time in the kitchen or getting ill a few times? He can easily deal with a hazardous and demanding job, if it means every day doesn't feel like he's killing his own heart inch by inch.]
[Even back then, Kalim had been far too ready to lie to himself and others, too ready to blindly dismiss potentially deadly thoughtlessness as inconsequential. Had he really thought he could play off what he was doing so that others wouldn't notice? That they hadn't consulted doctors about his deteriorating condition?
"Sorry" isn't good enough. Denial won't change the facts of life. Kalim can't just pretend that everything would have been fine, if he had kept going without intervention, or that everything is going to be fine now. This isn't some kind of game, or a daydream they can expect to magically end in Happily Ever After. Real life requires sacrifices--but Kalim hadn't needed to be one of them back then, and he shouldn't have been one today, either.]
[ Kalim seems at a loss for words, staring at Jamil, the beauty of the world around him forgotten out of a desperate need to try and make things right for him, while also struggling with why it was like this at all. There was nothing that could be done— he wasn’t the first heir to die, though he desperately hopes he is the last. ]
But I want you to be happy right now. This is what you’ve always wanted, right?
How could any of this possibly be what I wanted?! I never asked for this!
[Normally he'd never dare be caught in a state like this. Disgracefully openly distraught, face streaked with tears, shouting at Kalim as he knelt at his feet..... The consequences for something like this would be dire, if word got back to either of their families. Anyone could find them, when his yelling could surely easily be heard all the way back at the parking lot.....
But there isn't anyone to hear or find them, is there? There's nobody at all. Nobody but him, and the lingering spirit of the boy who used to be his whole world, for better and for worse.]
[ there's a hint of panic in Kalim's voice-- well, more than a hint. he wasn't sure what to do with Jamil in this state, and he immediately drops to his knees to try and reassure him.
he doesn't know what that means, what any of what Jamil is saying means. But what he does know is that he doesn't want him to cry. It doesn't feel right to him, he couldn't imagine it. and yet, here it was.
he reaches out to his shoulders trying to figure out what he should do, his face in open worry as he can't even pull together a smile. ]
I'm sorry! I don't want you to be sad!
[ he admits, his form wavering with his own uncertainty. ]
What the hell else am I supposed to be?! It doesn't matter what either of us want!
[There's nobody and nothing. He's alone, self-sufficient, accompanied only by the guilt and regret of his proven failure--and soon, even that will probably fade away, when Kalim decides to return to his family or pass beyond the veil. He's not bound and gagged right now, not stuffed into some tiny, dark, suffocating lamp to be summoned only on his master's whim. But just as there's nothing to keep him so limited and restrained, there's nothing to keep him anchored either, nothing to help hold him together instead of unravel in a spiral of grief and helpless rage.
Who would want this..... this nothingness? What has all of this even been for, if it's all going to be so hollow in the end?]
[ Kalim has things he thinks are the answer to what Jamil should be feeling, but maybe he missed something again?
And maybe he is a little sad, too. Or… a lot sad. He didn’t want to leave like this, he didn’t want to not be there to welcome him back from his journey. And so, he hesitates before answering, his grip on his shoulder disappearing, phasing through like it had moments before.
He doesn’t like that. ]
Jamil…
[ he wants to make it right, but he doesn’t know how. ]
[It's deeply, viscerally wrong in ways he doesn't have words for; he wants to cling to Kalim's insubstantial form as much as he wants to recoil, scream at him as much as he wants to be violently ill. It makes his skin crawl with unease--he shouldn't have found out this way. His phone should have been ringing non-stop from the moment something happened. He shouldn't be dealing with this alone, let alone have time to feel this way--he should be in crisis control mode, frantically coordinating a return trip right now.
Kalim shouldn't be here either--even as a ghost, is it really so quick to get halfway around the world, unless he'd been murdered mere minutes or hours after he'd left him in the hands of the rest of the servants? What had the rest of the household been doing, to let him die so easily? Shouldn't he still be in shock as he confronts his new status, or at least cooperating with local authorities so his murder can be investigated? They have mages in law enforcement for a reason--it's much easier to find clues and suspects alike, if the victim's spirit themselves can provide a statement.
Why..... why is nobody here for them, except each other? Kalim has a whole estate full of people who love him. He himself should have been struggling with swarms of fellow tourists, people who have no idea who he is, let alone what his social status is. This trip was supposed to be liberating, not haunting. It's just..... impossible.
The more desperately he wants to deny it all, the more reasons he finds to do so. The world around them wavers and distorts like a mirage, steadily growing darker and colder, less substantial and real as he violently rejects the very premise it's built on. He absolutely refuses to stay in such a horrible place; it's time to go home. It's time to wake up.]
[This time, it's Jamil that grows ghostly and insubstantial, fading into the deepening darkness as he flees this desolate hellscape through sheer force of will. There's no reason to stay, after all--it's not real.None of it is. Not his vacation, not this town--and obviously not Kalim. Kalim is waiting for him to wake up, just like the rest of his life.
But what happens to a dream, once its dreamer abandons it? What happens to Kalim, left in his wake?]
Kalim stares at where Jamil was, confused at how he's suddenly alone. An uncomfortable shiver goes down his spine as he looks around at the now vacant area, nothing going on. nothing to see...
He isn't a ghost, but he isn't waking up... ah. Maybe... he should make a new dream. maybe that's the right answer. ]
[Jamil wakes collapsed on the kitchen floor and drenched with cold sweat, head pounding dizzyingly and stomach lurching with nausea, eyes and throat burning as though he's been sobbing for hours. Who knows? Maybe he has been. He's not sure how long he was asleep, after all--he just knows that he hurts all over from the fall. Had he concussed himself? He feels a little..... he doesn't know. Woozy, maybe? Hungover? Hard to say, when he's never gotten drunk to have anything to compare this to.
Seven, his head is still spinning. He needs a shower, and maybe a proper lie down, that should help. But first..... he should make sure that..... that idiot is safe inside with Lilia and Ruby. Just..... just in case. He's probably still just inordinately shaken up from the nightmare--but it's starting to feel a little too real, when Kalim doesn't answer his phone or respond to texting. And when he tries calling Lilia and Ruby instead.....
All that sick dread comes rushing back to him in an instant. What kind of fool rushes out into such a deadly storm?! Especially without any kind of second thought or backup plan? Maybe he's that kind of fool, too..... Once Kalim is out there and thoroughly lost, he probably won't stop searching, after all. Once again, it falls to him to clean up Kalim's messes and save him from himself. There's no way the trains or busses are running at a time like this, is there? Maybe not even the elevator. That means Kalim must still be in the Down..... and Jamil will have no way to get there himself, except walking along the roads and hoping it's not entirely blocked with snow, abandoned cars, and fallen debris.
Even not accounting for the time it will take to search, this trip might take hours. They could both die out there. And yet..... Jamil finds himself scribbling a hasty note to his Submissive, bundling up as warmly as he can manage and packing some food before reluctantly trudging out into the merciless blizzard. Here goes nothing!]
[ a new dream takes shape, pulling him back into the lull, something that was only his. A party, one that he can’t quite remember the cause for, but…
And yet, in the real world, he’d collapsed long ago. The snow that had melted on his clothes had already refrozen, giving him a much colder.. stiffer look. Whatever warmth he is giving off is completely subsumed at this point. ]
[It's a long, agonizing slog down eerily empty highways, navigating by his device in one hand, and fire magic blazing high in the other. It's a hell of a lot of magic to waste, keeping it burning so hot for so long--but it's the only thing that keeps him going, if Jamil is honest. He can barely even feel the cold anymore, he's so numb, and it's not helped by how often he stumbles and falls face-first into snow drifts deep enough to nearly swallow him whole. It's hard just to force himself to stand back up and keep walking, when exhaustion weighs him down so heavily--but he can't just stop. If he stops, they're both done for.
Even if Najima scolds, and his own Phantom sneers, and Kalim stares at him with such betrayal in his eyes..... every picture he takes of them reveals nothing but empty streets and untouched snow. They follow him even if he doesn't follow them, even if he knows they're not real--it's not until his eyes sting with frozen tears and his throat is raw from screaming at them do they finally deign to fade away, leaving him with nothing but the setting sun and foul taste of blot thick on his tongue to keep him company. Funny how prophetic his dream feels now, struggling through an unnaturally empty city while his heart feels like it's going to tear its way out of his chest.....
At least he feels lighter with each damning confession these shadows wearing false faces forcibly tear from his lips. Miserable, raw and vulnerable, hurting from the accusations he can't refute..... but free, finally openly acknowledging the darkness inside him he'd choked down for so many years. Even the slow uphill trudge back home doesn't feel quite so awful, in spite of carrying Kalim's limp weight the whole way; he'd have to be an even bigger idiot than he already is to go to Lilia's house, knowing how poor maintenance is on buildings in the Down. They need the warmth of a safe, sturdy apartment building after..... how many hours has he been out here? How much longer has Kalim been out here?
It hardly feels real by the time Jamil staggers back into the apartment and drops Kalim onto the couch. He locks the door, turns on the heat with hands so shaky and numb he can barely hit the buttons, wishes futilely that these apartments had fireplaces--but none of it changes the fact that he needs to wake Kalim back up. He's struggling to think clearly enough to remember what the treatment to hypothermia is--but it's definitely not sex, no matter how logical it seems at the moment. Will he wake up naturally, when the storm outside is so unnatural?
Maybe..... maybe it's an enchanted sleep of some sort. Historically speaking, true love's kiss is a traditional condition to lifting curses. It's the sort of absurd, impossible idea he'd never entertain, if he were thinking clearly--but if he's honest with himself, Jamil isn't confident he's physically capable of having sex right now, even if he was willing to try. Jamil bends over Kalim, still shaking and covered in snow, and presses their lips together before he can second guess himself.]
[ in this new dream, there's a parade. a party. a feast. Kalim's almost forgotten the previous dream, except for some lingering sadness. the feeling that he's missing something, but any time it's on the tip of his tongue, someone else is there to distract him.
but he can't help the feeling of loneliness that sinks in. that emptiness that something important is missing. how long has this parade in the desert been after all? it feels like there was something that happened before. and yet, his eyes are scanning the crowd for someone.
He manages to work his way throughout the party, stopping when grabbed to entertain others, or to dance, but still he searches-- it's only when he hears the clinking of charms, that he pulls his attention away-- turns immediately to look.
He's looking for someone. "Jamil...?"
He looks around again, and yet, when he turns, he nearly finds himself running into Jamil all of a sudden, and he feels intense relief. He opens his mouth to speak, when Jamil leans down to kiss him... ]
Mmmh...?
[ he mumbles half asleep, brows furrowing, and then his eyes open. has he been dreaming this whole time? ]
[Jamil jolts in place, eyes widening in shock. What? What had just happened? How? Why?! He hadn't actually expected the attempt to work, not when he--when they--
Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe he had been thinking too deeply about this, making too many assumptions about the nature of the storm and Kalim's conditions. It's possible this is just..... Duplicity being Duplicity, again. Maybe any intimate contact would have been fine, as long as it wasn't platonic. Maybe a kiss would have worked just as well as a blowjob. That's far more reasonable than the alternative, right? Or..... maybe it's just because Kalim is Kalim. Insufferably optimistic and trusting as he is, he'd probably fall in love with anyone he spent enough time with.
Either way, it's..... it's fine. There's nothing he needs to think too hard about. He can just..... hastily straighten back up, and press a few gloved fingers against Kalim's neck to check his pulse. His own has felt concerningly sluggish for hours, but that's not important anymore now that they're inside. How deeply chilled has Kalim ended up? How many blankets can he scrounge together? What was the treatment supposed to be for frostbite, again? Even the coldest nights in the Scalding Sands hadn't prepared him to need that kind of information readily memorized.....]
[ jamil's hands are warm-- almost too warm. and Kalim immediately tries to push himself up, but he feels... almost like an icicle, everything is so cold. And so, of course, immediately he starts shivering pathetically--
and then sneezes.
and sniffles. ]
Jamil...?
[ what happened... he heard... him? He heard him asking for help and went outside, but everything else after that-- he doesn't quite remember? he went away from the house, trying to follow him, and yet... he feels like maybe he passed out?
but... Jamil was just kissing him, right?? was that a dream too...?
No, wait! That means Jamil's okay! and he immediately launches himself to cling to him, ]
I--wh-what do you think you're doing? Lay back down! Are you trying to get even sicker?!
[Jamil stumbles backwards as Kalim throws himself at him, nearly tripping over the coffee table--even so, he manages to awkwardly catch him regardless. How is he supposed to take care of anything holding onto Kalim like this? It'd be just his luck if Kalim caught pneumonia or something, laying out in the snow for so long.
What if he gets sick too, after..... well, after kissing him? He'll probably just need to power through. Neither of them are going back out into that godforsaken storm if he has anything to say about it.]
I was worried! I heard you calling out in the storm...
[ he's... so cold, now that he thinks about it. what even happened...? and then there was that weird dream. He shakes himself of that thought, and looks up at Jamil with a relieved smile, even through the shivers.
Though, Jamil doesn't look well either... He can't place it... ]
[ his words are eaten with another sneeze, but his hand doesn't let Jamil's shirt go. Ah... he really is cold, but if he's cold... Isn't Jamil cold too? And he can't shake the feeling that something seems wrong. ]
[ he wants to argue, there's that instinct to show that they aren't master and servant, that they can operate as equals, but Kalim looks up at Jamil, slowly trying to figure out what he should do.
and maybe it is the cold, that's caused such a sluggish response, but then his eyes go towards Jamil's pen, tucked in a pocket. And to how dark the magestone is... it's probably lucky that he was already pale from the cold: it masks how his blood runs cold, and he forces himself up, ]
Jamil, your blot...!!
[ he's not the most steady right then, but he'll work past the cold. Jamil is the one suffering more. ]
[Of course Kalim is ignoring him. Of course they're going to do this now. Seven, he's exhausted; trying to settle Kalim's nerves and get him back down is the absolute last thing he needs right now.]
It's fine. It'll go away on its own; I just needed to use a lot of magic out in the blizzard, that's all.
[That's definitely the only thing contributing to this, honest. Kalim was lost or unconscious for anything else that could have theoretically happened, but definitely did not, which means he doesn't need to know. Dreams and hallucinations aren't even real, anyway, which means they don't count. Right?]
[It's a shockingly strong grip, for how badly incapacitated Kalim was mere minutes ago. Could he even pry himself free if he tried, at this point? How shameful is it that he's not actually confident the answer would be yes?]
It's not going to be a comfortable rest for either of us if we can't warm up. Even if I do nothing else, we need some blankets.
[A little blot won't kill him. He's (probably. He thinks. He hopes.) not in as precarious a mental state as he was over winter break, no matter how wretched he feels right now, or how bitter the taste of blot is in the back of his throat. He's just..... just.....]
Fine. The linen closet is in the bathroom. You'll find blankets, sheets, and towels in there. If you think you need to, you can strip my bed, too.
[ Kalim nods immediately, and it's only with a direction to go in that his grip on Jamil's hand eases, that he even considers being willing to calm down. He still pulls him back towards the couch. ]
S-sit down, sit down! I... I'll take care of it!
[ his body feels numb, frozen, but frankly, he doesn't care. only once he's sure Jamil could sit down if he wanted, does he stumble off in the direction that he's been given, to collect as many blankets as possible.
and attempts to carry them all back-- which he's lucky he didn't trip honestly. But he was far more determined to get back to Jamil, to help him take it easy. ]
Here...!
[ he practically drops the blankets onto one end of the couch, and immediately pulls the thickest out with some effort. His teeth are still chattering, but he doesn't mind. It's a blanket for Jamil-- and him. But first, he turns to sit next to Jamil, and to awkwardly pull the blanket over the both of them. ]
D-do you need anything else?? Just ask, I c-can do it for you.
spill the tea
He honestly hadn't put a ton of thought into who he might meet at this little event-- nor had he paid attention to the "fun facts" provided about him. At least, not beyond finding it was weird he didn't get to choose them himself.
But, he could deal with that easily, as he takes a seat, waiting for his first partner to appear. ]
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This whole situation feels enough like a mockery as it is, even without rubbing salt in the wound. This far from home, where his social status no longer matters, where he no longer has obligations, where he should be free--where he should be thrilled that he's been chosen to be one of the elite..... Somehow, it doesn't feel as though he's done anything but stepped from one cage into another. What good is this power and authority if he didn't rightfully earn it through acknowledgement of his own capabilities? Why is it that being placed in this position makes his skin crawl with anxiety, feeling countless eyes on him wherever he walks, knowing the weight of the expectations
crushingbeing placed on him?It's their captors spitting in his face, that's what it is, making his dream something that only leaves him even more tightly bound and scrutinized than he's ever been before. But if he understands the consequences correctly, what else can he possibly do but force himself to smile, and humbly accept the "honor" he's being given like an exemplary Dominant should? It would be far too dangerous to refuse. He needs to know his place if he's to have any hope of surviving this situation. That means whatever this "tea date" is meant to accomplish, whoever these facts are about, he needs to at least pretend to be happy to have the opportunity to spend time with them.
At least some tea might actually settle his nerves, when this whole day has been absolutely exhausting so far? And gaining useful intelligence on their situation could be vital to--
Jamil freezes in the doorway as his eyes scan the tables for his dining partner, heart abruptly constricting in his chest and carefully crafted smile stiffening along with his shoulders. Why is he here?! Somewhere like this, of all places?! If that card he was given is actually correct, then that means--
Seven, he feels like he's going to be sick. He's not sure if he wants to rush to Kalim's side, abandon this whole farce and run away screaming, or pinch himself and pray he wakes up from this nightmare. How did this happen? Why did this happen?!]
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And then he sees Jamil.
His eyes go wide, his heart feels-- something akin to relief, but heavier. And he stand up immediately, running to him ]
Jamil!!
[ as he runs, and then shortly before he crashes into him, hugging him tight. He's missed him so much. It's hard to believe he was there, event hough he knows he was there before. But still.
It's been over two months. The longest they've ever been apart, and the anxiety's been eating him every single day. ]
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Yes. He's concerned about avoiding the consequences that would have for him if he fails in his duties. He's most certainly not worried about what would happen to an innocent--no, to a naïve, gullible, feckless idiot like Kalim if this sort of place chewed him up and spat him back out. This kind of place would eat him alive for sure if someone wasn't keeping him out of trouble. What a headache.....
Even his racing thoughts can't stop Jamil from automatically reaching out to catch Kalim, to keep him from crashing into him and sending them both tumbling to the ground. It's not exactly returning the hug, but..... Well, it's better than nothing, right? He's not shoving him away, at the very least.]
Kalim! What are you doing here? Why aren't you at Scarabia?
[None of this makes any sense. There had been nothing to indicate the school's barrier had been breached. He had noticed nothing amiss, on campus or in the dorm itself. There's no way Kalim could have been abducted before him without him knowing; he had seen Kalim right before they'd gone to bed for the night, and he hadn't woken up to any sounds of a struggle. There's certainly no reason some assassin or kidnapper would have seen any value in targeting him of all people, either. And if they had been taken at the same time simply for convenience's sake, shouldn't they have woken up together here? Why is Kalim clinging to him as though they've been separated for ages? Does he have some sort of amnesia? Had magic or drugs been used on him when he was taken here?]
no subject
Oh.... Ah... time works strangely here, apparently. So, I've been here for a couple of months already. And maybe no time at all's passed since you saw me!
Which is a huge relief!!
[ he fights with himself whether or not to tell Jamil that he's been there before, but ultimately decides... he doesn't want to. He only heard about that from Silver. So maybe it's up to Silver to tell Jamil. Kalim absolutely doesn't want to focus on that, hiself. ]
I'm so glad to see you!
[ regardless of anything else, Kalim thinks Jamil needs to know that. That wouldn't add any other pressure onto him. ]
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[What. What. How?! What is this place? Why would time work differently without some extenuating circumstances like Malleus' frankly insane Halloween prank? How has Kalim even managed that long without supervision? He's not used to doing anything by himself! What if he's already gotten hurt?!
Who cares if Kalim is glad to see him? (Of course he's glad to see him. He always is. Seven, he's just..... why does he have to be so..... so insufferable?) That's utterly irrelevant compared to the apparently months long gap he'll have to answer for. Jamil looks Kalim up and down with a critical eye, scanning him for injuries and more. Has he been eating? Has he been sleeping? What about laundry? What about medicine? What about--]
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The only marks are his submissive collar and the tattoo under his chin down to his collarbone. And his clothes look perfectly serviceable. Clean, most certainly, but the sort of average clean that comes from... not being rich. ]
Yeah! I have so much I wanna show you!
[ he wipes his eyes, and all traces of tears are gone. There's only happiness there. And all the things Jamil's read on his card by now. ]
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[Of course he does. Of course he's all smiles, now that they've been reunited. Of course he's not concerned about any of this. Kalim has barely worried about anything actually important a day in his life. Why would he start now? And that collar..... they went over what that means in Orientation. Kalim Al-Asim, of all people, is a Submissive. Maybe not an obviously mistreated one, given the adequate state he's in, but the sheer audacity of subjecting Kalim to such treatment is astounding.
It should..... make him feel happy, finally standing above Kalim, shouldn't it.....? Isn't this what he'd wanted? Instead, he only feels even more uncomfortable in his own skin than he already has been since he'd first arrived, the exhaustion hanging heavy and suffocating over him like a leaden shroud. Even this sort of victory, they had managed to pervert and make hollow, somehow. He could really do with sitting down.]
.....We should stop blocking traffic. People are staring.
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[ he doesn't seem to mind them sitting. He still hasn't read Jamil's card-- maybe he wouldn't, if only based on how happy he is to see him, and how much maybe he didn't need to read it.
Unless he did? The thought occurs to him as he lets Jamil go, and backs away to allow him to head to the table they'd both be seated at. But he just can't help himself-- he's so happy to see Jamil. Even if the situation is less than ideal, Jamil was there. And if there was anyone who would know what to do it would probably be him. ]
Let's sit, let's sit! We're supposed to get to know each other!
[ he laughs a little-- but there's something needling at the back of his mind as he sits down.
Something that makes him put his hand over the card he was provided. ]
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[It isn't as though he's been allowed to keep his secrets any longer, given the circumstances. And Kalim..... he can't keep secrets to save his life. Can he? Whatever their captors had been hoping to accomplish with this absurd social engagement, they're clearly not going to get it with the two of them; it's surely just going to be a frustrating exercise in futility.
Still, there's no point in resisting. Not when they'll almost certainly be observed the whole time, to make sure they're doing as they're meant to be. Jamil sighs and follows Kalim back to the table, reaching for a menu once he's settled in. Just how long will they need to do this? They'll need to only have tea, based on what he'd been told--he certainly has no local currency yet, and Submissives apparently aren't allowed to use money at all, are they? What a disgusting place. What a disgusting system. If only someone could burn it all to the ground.....]
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The second-- that has to be a reference to his unique magic, doesn't it? But someone like Jamil would be able to play that off easily. Kalim would struggle to lie, but not Jamil. Not with something as vague as "charmer."
But it's the third one that makes him pause. Can't stop thinking about you? Does Jamil really obsess over someone? Who is this "you"? He wants to know them. He's missed them somehow, but if it's true... He looks up at him, over the card, studying.
and then finally asks, bluntly, ]
Jamil, are you obsessed with someone...?
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Jamil places his order while Kalim reads his card--a fragrant jasmine tea, as it turns out--, raising an eyebrow at him incredulously. As tactless as always..... but that aside, really? What kind of question is that?]
What? Obviously not. What would even give you that idea?
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Were they all lies? ]
Oh... It was just this.
[ he offers the card for him, smiling sheepishly. ]
I was wondering if the third one was true, and who it was about if so...
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[Jamil takes the card to read over himself, jaw tightening subtly. There are some very choice words he could say about this slander.....
Instead he just huffs dismissively, dropping it back onto the table. That idiot..... If they had been paired together randomly, then the last one was clearly a personal dig at him being "overbearing" or some such nonsense, as if his caution wasn't constantly justified at every possible turn. And if this had been deliberate, well..... the who should be obvious, right? The card had been given directly to Kalim, after all.
Not that it's true even if that is the case. He's not obsessed, after all. It's his job to worry about Kalim--and even when he's off the clock, how is he supposed to stop thinking about him when Kalim won't leave him alone? He doesn't exactly get much peace and quiet or time to himself. Ugh, of all the things they could have written..... Why pick something so embarrassing?]
They're trying to turn everything into an innuendo to get people excited to meet each other, that's all. It's probably just a comment on Scarabian mindfulness and planning.
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[ does he look a little relieved? he doesn't mean to, but there's that brief flash of... something ]
That makes sense.
[ he says, giving Jamil all the grace in the world. there's supposed to be tea drinking he knows, but he's still a little surprised when something actually comes to the table, and his eyes widen. ]
Oh! I wouldn't trust anything they give you to eat or drink.
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[Kalim never has been able to hide his feelings worth a damn, has he? Of course he's going to notice that momentary shift, ridiculous as it is. Why would Kalim be worried that he's obsessed with anyone, anyway? Classes and club meetings aside, it seems as though they're hardly ever apart these days. Does Kalim really believe he has time for other commitments in his life right now, especially ones he wouldn't already know about the moment they developed? Honestly, it'll be a miracle if he ever manages to get into a romantic relationship, at this rate.
The flash of alarm in his eyes when Kalim warns him, though--it's certainly not proving the card wrong, in either sense it could have been meant in. Has Kalim been subsisting off tainted food and drink for months? How badly has it hurt him already? He doesn't look thin enough to have been starving himself the way he used to..... Ugh, this never would have happened if he'd been around to cook. Unbelievable.]
How do they tamper with it? Are you alright? What have you been eating and drinking, in that case?
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[ he says, more insistently, immediately putting his hands out to block the pot as much as possible. The last thing he wants is for Jamil to find himself in the state he was on the first day. The idea makes Kalim uncomfortable in ways that are hard to describe.
If he has to be there... Kalim wants him to have the awareness for every moment of it. To make his own choices, and to not feel like anyone has manipulated him into anything. ]
It makes your head go-- funny. And you can't really think through what you do.
[ he could describe it more clearly, or answer any of his other questions. But Kalim is more concerned about dissuading Jamil from drinking than anything else. ]
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[What a wretched pack of scum, claiming this is some sort of innocent social engagement only to drug and manipulate strangers who couldn't possibly know better. Just how badly have they hurt Kalim already? How many times? What exactly have they forced him to do?
Jamil's voice is tightly controlled to force down the anger, but he does reach around Kalim's hands to take the pot--and set it on the next table over, spout pointedly facing away from them, rather than give into the unseemly impulse to fling it onto the floor and watch it shatter. Observation be damned, if the refreshments are drugged, then this is more important than remaining inconspicuous.]
How do you feel? You didn't breathe in any of the steam, did you?
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[ he stares at Jamil, confusion on his face, ]
Don't worry, don't worry! That... isn't that strong!
[ he falters, and then finishes much more self assured. And more relaxed now that the pot is away from them. Jamil is safe. He won't drink it, and then there won't be any awkward situations. ]
I've been cooking for myself! I want to make something for you, too. I'm no where near as good as you, but you've been cooking my meals for so long, I really want to try to make something for you too. Lilia will be glad to see you, and I really want you to meet Ruby, too!
[ his questions: forgotten. the fact sheets: forgotten. He just wants to share every little thought that has popped up inside his head. ]
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[That's..... one way to avoid being drugged, he supposes, but somehow it doesn't really make him feel any better. Kalim isn't supposed to handle knives or fire for a reason. At least he doesn't seem to be sporting any bandages, and he hadn't seen any cuts, burns, or blisters..... But still!
And yet..... He genuinely can't decide if it's better that Kalim risks the kitchen, or that someone like Lilia cook for him. He's heard horror stories about the kitchen abominations Lilia is capable of producing, ones that frankly beggar belief. How ill would Kalim get, trying to eat that man's culinary disasters? Every possibility he hears about is worse than the last.....
How is he even supposed to feel about the idea of Kalim cooking him something, anyway? It's just..... unnatural. It makes him feel uncomfortable in a way he's not sure how to articulate--so he won't. At all. Maybe if they just move past it, Kalim will forget about the idea entirely, and he won't have to say anything.]
I'm..... glad you've had a friend to keep you company, at least. Who's Ruby?
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[ Kalim doesn't know any of the turmoil going on under the surface for Jamil. Instead, he just assumes that this is all brought up as natural curiosity. After all, there was a lot for him to talk about with his life ere.
About how they were definitely equal now, and he didn't want Jamil to worry about being employed. Because there was no way he could, and also... he wouldn't be allowed to. They were different statuses now, after all. Something that might be a relief, Kalim hopes. To free Jamil from having to worry. ]
She's not good at cooking either, so I do a lot of it! I've learned a lot about the sort of stuff you've had to go through. And now, you don't have to worry at all! That's great, right??
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[What a master to have..... He's not sure what to make of this new information, honestly. A careless, chaotic man like Lilia sounds like an absolute chore to serve. Then again, he's clearly far sharper than he lets on, and he's difficult to read, not to mention a quite capable mage and fighter..... what a dangerous man. At least he's fond of Kalim. For all his eccentricities, Lilia has probably done an adequate job of keeping Kalim safe. He hopes.]
What are you talking about?
[Idiot..... As though he'd ever be able to just stop worrying. Why does Kalim assume he would, just because he's learned how to operate a stove? And why does he think he suddenly knows him now, just because he's been forced to be a Submissive? He doesn't know a damn thing about him. How could Kalim possibly understand what he's gone through, or how he feels? The very notion is absurd. He's just.....
They're just too different. Kalim's not that kind of person, and never will be.]
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Well, the idea of the al-Asim heir doesn't matter here, right? And Rook told me I should try to embrace being a submissive to understand everything you have to deal with...
[ so, he did.
to varying degrees of success. ]
So, here, it doesn't matter what things are like back home. You don't need to worry about me at all!
[ he says it so cheerfully, certain this will free Jamil up. Maybe he'll even be happy! Kalim hopes he'll be happy... he just wants them to be equals... but he'd take their positions switching at the very least, if it would make Jamil happy. ]
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He never seems to get the point, even if he's apparently suddenly trying to. Why is Kalim always so..... so..... ugh! What a damn fool! What is this fresh nonsense? As if he could ever just forget what they're going back home to.....
Wouldn't it only hurt worse, pretending that none of it mattered, only to need to pick right back up where they'd left off? Just like that brief taste of an independent school life, going up in smoke in a matter of weeks.....How is it that Kalim so cavalierly asks for the moon and stars, without the slightest idea that they might be impossible to pluck out of the sky? Why can't he just be reasonable for once?]Don't be ridiculous, we can't just forget where we come from. Or do you seriously mean to tell me you've already given up hope on making it home?
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[ he says, oblivious to all of the internal turmoil Jamil's shifting through. ]
Just, it doesn't make sense to pretend things are like they are at home while we're here, right? It's not like I could pay you or anything, so... You don't have to worry about it.
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[It feels like he's been punched in the gut. Is Kalim saying he's replacing him?! With Lilia, of all people?! Of all the reckless, irresponsible, short-sighted, brazen, arrogant, stupid--!! How does he think he's going to manage on his own without anyone helping him? Is Lilia even responsible enough to handle everything Kalim needs? What the hell does he expect to say when he gets in over his head and inevitably comes crawling back to him in utter defeat and humiliation? "Haha, sorry, my bad! Could you give me a hand with this? You always know just what to do!"
Of course he knows what to do. He has more knowledge and experience than anyone else ever has or ever will. What makes Kalim think anyone else is capable of fulfilling those duties?]
You can't just fire me, you aren't even the contract holder to begin with! Do you have any idea what kind of trouble there would be if I shirked my duties just because we got kidnapped?
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You would??
[ the answer is... no. ]
But I've been fine so far! And this isn't like normal at all! So, I don't think anyone would know.
[ and he wouldn't tell them. ]
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[Oh, they'll know. Anything that happens to Kalim, any injuries, any discrepancies..... He'll be the one who has to answer for them. And if he's being held accountable, that risks the rest of his family being held accountable, too. It's just going to be a mess all around, one he needs to be present for to prevent as much as possible.
He just..... can't let Kalim get hurt. That's all there is to it. It's so simple and obvious, even Kalim himself should be capable of understanding. Right?]
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[ what does he say to that? he can't help it: he's confused. Jamil should've been excited for this, shouldn't he? A chance to not have to worry about him?
Kalim's smile is a little awkward, and his posture torn between tight and fidgety, and slumping in defeat. He wants to push back, wants to tell Jamil he doesn't want him to worry. But he already has, and Jamil's already told him no.
What can he even do at this point...? ]
I-- okay...
[ he nods, acquiescing. he can't deny that there are dangers. ]
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If they even can organize or conspire in any meaningful way without arousing suspicion. How are they supposed to get useful information? Is it possible to insinuate himself into this "LIER" organization that had brought him here? Maybe gain enough trust to be able to search their facilities, or use Snake Charmer on someone to interrogate them without getting caught?]
We'll figure something out. In the meantime..... what have they done to you? What has life been like for you here?
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But it didn't feel normal.
Still, he wasn't going to dwell on it, or it would ruin the rest of the conversation with Jamil most likely. ]
What do you mean? It's been great!
[ he answers, impossibly chipper. ]
I get to work at a potion shop. Ruby and Lilia are a ton of fun to hang out with! Oh, and since Cater's here, we've been able to do Pop Music Club shows too! I really like it!
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[Forgive him if he's a little skeptical that anything about this godsforsaken situation could possibly be great. Isn't that just like Kalim, to have unwarranted optimism about the most dangerous potential predicaments? Even so, he can't help but be a little surprised, hearing Kalim's actually employed.....]
It sounds as though you're staying busy, at least. Are--
Finished already? Here you go, boys.
.....Thank you very much.
[Jamil smiles, but there's something sharp and cold in his gaze as he stares at the waitress' retreating back. So they noticed that they weren't drinking, did they? Whoever "they" were. Why push the refreshments so hard, without giving them a chance to demur? Will they even be allowed to leave, if they don't properly partake and socialize as they're expected to?]
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[ Kalim echoes, with sincerity. After all, that person hadn't done anything wrong. Still, he doesn't make a move to get anything to drink, instead pulling his feet up into the chair, sitting in a butterfly pattern, rocking lightly.
idly. not paying attention ]
Yeah, I'm definitely staying busy! Did you know Idia runs a cafe, too?! It's wild, I expected that from someone like Azul, but I was totally surprised when I heard he was running it. Lots of our classmates work there!
[ really... he's one of the only ones who doesn't. ]
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[Idia hates talking to people. Employees, customers--isn't dealing with that sort of thing all far beyond the tolerance levels of a shut-in like him? He's not sure if he's incredulous or impressed. Is Ortho running it all for him?
Well, that's none of his concern. Whatever Idia is doing to push outside of his comfort zone or not, maybe Idia being a business owner will come in handy somehow? Jamil pours himself a cup of tea in the meantime, looking past Kalim as he stirs in a generous spoonful of sugar--downright conservative, by Kalim's tastes, but enough that he should be able to identify the effects of whatever substances might have been added to it. It's probably in the tea, though, isn't it? Not everyone takes theirs sweetened, after all.
Now, to see if he can spot who or what may be monitoring them (and how many other pairs, throughout the restaurant?) to make sure they were drinking as they've been told to.]
Just how many classmates have been brought here? Why target Night Raven College in particular.....?
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[ Kalim is distracted for a moment, but he still seems apprehensive about Jamil drinking the tea. But... everyone else is drinking it, and nothing's happened yet. So maybe he's overreacting...
He exhales softly. ]
A lot of people... Right now, there's Lilia, Silver, Cater, Idia, Floyd, Jade, and Rook. I don't know if they're targeting NRC or if... that's just how it is. There's a lot of people from all over here.
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[Jamil raises his cup and takes a deep breath of steam, slow and deliberate, calculating as he keeps an eye on their surroundings. No difference in scent that he can detect. A deep, measured sip, cup lingering against his lips to blatantly show his obedience to whatever LIER agents or cameras might be watching, gaze sharp and focused as he analyzes the drink and his own bodily reactions. The taste is what he would expect, the consistency and mouthfeel are fine, the color of the tea is normal. As far as he can tell, anything they've added is colorless, odorless, able to dissolve into hot tea perfectly without leaving any telltale traces behind.
Now, how does he feel? He feels..... fine, mostly. A gentle, lingering warmth spreading through him, more than he would expect from a simple tea. A subtle..... looseness, if he had to describe it aloud? His muscles feel a little less tense, his chest a little less tight, his mind a little less dark and tumultuous. Were he not paying such intense attention, would he have even noticed? Or would he have simply chalked it up to being relieved to be able to finally relax, after such a stressful transition? Still, his head doesn't feel "funny", as Kalim had described it. His thoughts are lucid. He has full control over himself, as he sets his cup back down on its saucer.]
There's some sort of fast-acting sedative I can't identify, but even drinking in moderation, it should still only be a mild dose. An attempt to keep us complacent, no doubt.
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You don't feel hot, do you?
[ he's concerned... after all, it took a minute for the first drink to work on him. But-- no, Jamil would know. He was drinking carefully. Now it was Kalim who was probably worrying too much.
But he can't help it. Conversations on "why" are forgotten as he focuses entirely on Jamil. ]
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[Not that he sounds particularly convinced there will be, knowing that there had been something that worked immediately..... But he'll keep an eye on it, won't he? Jamil certainly doesn't look like he intends to keep drinking just yet, at any rate. As long as Kalim knows not to partake, or at least knows the risks..... That's good enough, isn't it? Kalim will stay safe, just as he's meant to.
And him..... he can take it, easily. So far, at least, this drug is mild and benign enough to not even bat an eye over.]
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and then reaches out to pour himself a cup.
If it's safe enough for Jamil, it's safe enough for him. ]
Then they must not have anything too bad in it this time.
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[Why is Kalim always like this?! He doesn't need to recklessly disregard his own safety when he has a poison tester, does he? Ugh! If Kalim would just wait patiently and let him do his damn job--]
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Oh, there isn't enough sugar in this!
[ time to load it down. ]
I don't taste anything bad, so I think you were right! It's fine. And it isn't too bad of a blend!
[ but it isn't a great one, either. Still. now they can both enjoy tea as they talk. as he adds sugar, he continues, ]
It doesn't feel right to not drink with you! And you already said it was fine, right?
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[Oh, but he can, and he will. It's too late to argue now, isn't it? Whatever will happen, will happen. Jamil can't help but sigh, shaking his head. What are they going to do if they both get hit with something stronger, more delayed, more dangerous? They don't have any family doctors on call here like they do at the palace. And there's no Professor Crewel to quickly diagnose such a poisoning, like there is on campus.....]
You idiot..... The whole point of testing it in advance is to make sure at least one of us isn't incapacitated.
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But nothing happened. So we can keep talking like before!
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[But there's really no convincing a guy like Kalim, is there? Any attempted scolding is just going to go in one ear and out the other, as always. So..... Fine. Fine. He has no choice but to accept it, now that Kalim is already drinking too.]
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[ after all, Lilia's been taking good care of him, and more importantly, Lilia's got a wealth of experience from age that there was no way Kalim and Jamil could compete with. ]
But for now, you can relax. It's not that frightening here, most of the time.
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[Relaxing is the last thing he wants to do, if he's honest. Lilia hardly seems like the most reliable person to nurse anyone back to health, given the rumors he's heard.....
But it's anyone's guess if there actually will be any further effects from whatever they've been drugged with. He still doesn't feel any unnatural heat, or anything clouding his thoughts. Maybe they're just..... who even knows? Trying to forcibly pair-bond strangers for this twisted experiment they're running? It's a futile effort, if that's the case. After all, the two of them are already.....
He'd really rather not think too hard about it, when his head is hurting as it is.]
I'm not so sure we have the same definition of frightening, if everything they serve in public is tainted.
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And not everything is tainted. Ruby likes to get drinks from cafes and things like that, and sometimes I go with her! I just got really unlucky one time.
[ he shrugs, and that was probably more than he would've said a moment ago, but he doesn't seem too perturbed by it. He's more openly happy Jamil's there. ]
And after that, it didn't matter, since no one else could cook, especially after Riddle went back home! So I decided to try it, since I couldn't keep my promise to only eat your cooking if you weren't there.
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[Is he sure these cafe drinks aren't tainted routinely, if there's something in the tea today? Or is it that they just have sneakier, less lethal effects than Kalim has to worry about at home? Either way, mentioning a particularly "unlucky" day is clearly evidence enough that this place is dangerous, that they should be cautious.
Even that concern is momentarily distracted from, hearing that Riddle was not only seized, but has managed to escape their confinement. Without even taking the rest of them with him, or letting them in on the secret? He'd thought Riddle was more of an insufferable goody--ah, was more conscientious than that.]
Riddle went home? How?
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[ Kalim shrugs-- and then rests his cheek on the palm of his hand ]
I think it just happens sometimes.
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[That's..... that's in incredibly poor taste, if it's a joke. But Silver is far too earnest to joke about something like that, isn't he? Not so rigid as Riddle, perhaps, but serious and diligent, honest and capable, kind enough that he sometimes questions how Silver ended up in Night Raven College at all. No, if Silver claims he was here at one point before, then.....
He feels a little sick just contemplating the possibility, headache only worsening as he struggles to make sense of it all. Does he have amnesia? Was his memory altered with magic or a potion? How? Why? Had they let him go deliberately for some reason, or had he managed to escape? If he had escaped, why wouldn't he remember it? If they had released him for a purpose, then why? What else had they done to him that he can't remember? Why would they need him here again, if they had been satisfied enough with..... whatever they were doing to surrender him? What reason would there be to toy with him like this?
His can hear his heartbeat racing in his ears; Jamil takes another drink, tense all over again as he forces a surge of cold anger down. Whatever reason they may have for not wanting him to remember being taken previously, nothing good can come of letting them know he's aware of it now.]
Escaping a situation like this doesn't just happen at random.
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[ jamil was upset? Kalim can't quite make sense of the reaction, except that he feels guilty for doing that to him. perhaps not mentioning it at all was the right call. Kalim frowns, concern apparent in his face. And he stops rocking distractedly, straightens up ]
Are you upset?
[ the gears are trying to turn. he's trying to infer something. He's trying to communicate.
And instead, he gets up only to move and sit next to Jamil in the booth, leaning against him heavily without thinking about how that might be taken. ]
I'm sorry!
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[Might he have snapped at Kalim's sheer obliviousness, normally? Or pushed him away, at the very least? Instead, he's..... he doesn't know. Grateful, he guesses? The idea is horrifying in its implications, (not the least because of his own unique magic's capabilities) but better to know he's been deceived, manipulated, violated, controlled than to live in blissful ignorance. At least maybe he can try to figure out how to protect himself somehow, if he's aware of the danger.
Maybe he can figure out how to protect Kalim from this somehow, too. It's..... actually reassuring, having him so near. Can Kalim feel the way his heart is pounding, leaning against him like this? What a strange feeling, being so acutely aware of his own helplessness feeling frightening for once instead of absolutely infuriating. They're both still just teenagers, after all. What are they supposed to do against the sheer enormity of the disaster they've found themselves in?]
It's fine. Whatever they're doing to us, it's dangerous--far more dangerous than anything I'm capable of.
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Is the real problem that he's worried? That makes sense, Jamil always worries, even when doing so won't really help them... And yet, he knows that it isn't exactly unwarranted.
So, should he distract him? how?
He'd say they should leave but... this was important for Jamil. He needed a submissive to be contracted to, or else he'd get in trouble.
(the thought makes his heart ache, and so he immediately speaks instead) ]
Well, right now it's not so bad, right? And later, I can show you some of the nicer places to visit. Who knows, maybe it'll help you think clearer!
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He's overwhelmingly envious, even if it makes his blood runs cold.
He should learn from them, if he can--not only for the sake of escaping, (again?) but for his own personal growth as well. Just because he gets average marks in alchemy doesn't mean he's bad at it by any means--he'll just need to start seriously studying science, if he can slither his way into their captors' good graces enough to gain employment with them. All he needs to start with is a foot in the door somehow, so he can work towards gaining their trust.....
At least developing the first inklings of a plan means he has something to cling to, some rock to steady himself with as the storm rages around (and within) him. Far better to plan for the future, as the Sorcerer of the Sands would surely have done, rather than to make himself sick stressing out over hypotheticals.]
.....I suppose so. We'll just have to see, won't we?
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Where are you staying, by the way? I wanna visit as soon as possible!
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Calm down. Focus.
A steadying breath, and Jamil reaches into his pocket to pull out an engraved key. (Strange, he doesn't even think to grumble to himself about Kalim invading what little privacy he'll have.) He offers it over for Kalim to examine; if he's been here so long, he probably knows the building, doesn't he?]
It seems they've set aside an entire apartment building to serve as a dormitory of sorts. Every newly taken Dominant has been assigned a room there.
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You'll have to show me.
[ and also-- offering the key back. Jamil can't give him his only key-- Kalim already has a place to stay, after all. And he couldn't impose. ]
There was something similar for Submissives, but I didn't really stay there. Lilia found me and invited me over right away! So that's where I've been ever since!
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Good. Everything I heard suggested the Submissive accommodations are insecure and poorly appointed; we can take a look at my assignment, and I'll walk you home.
[After all, he'll need to know the way to Lilia's as soon as possible himself, if he intends to keep an eye on Kalim. He'll have to thank Lilia for making sure Kalim didn't have to brave these dangerous Submissive slums, won't he? Perhaps a meal will be good enough.]
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Sure!
[ he'd want Jamil to visit too. though, Lilia's place is pretty small... still, for visits it should be fine. ]
Oh, you should come for dinner!
[ he is absolutely going to attempt to cook for him. in fact, the way his eyes stare deeply at him implies he won't take no for an answer. ]
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[It's a strange, awkward, viscerally uncomfortable thought. Kalim shouldn't need to cook for him, even if he's been forced to do so to protect himself from poison. That's not how things are supposed to be. Maybe he needs to get used to that being how it is here, needs to readjust his understanding of his place in this new society, but.....
He can't just rewire his brain overnight. Besides, this is only a temporary setback caused by some overwhelmingly powerful pack of inscrutable villains..... right? Right?]
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It's not any trouble at all!
[ he just thinks Jamil is being modest, not that he's. you know. trying to get out of it. ]
I just wanna try to treat you, too.
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[Kalim isn't going to just let this go, is he? He'll just..... have to humor it and help him pull it off, the way he does with any other scheme the boy comes up with. Surely Kalim won't rebuff him at least bringing a bottle of wine or something similar, even if he wants to do all the cooking himself.
That said..... even if he accepts this bizarre role reversal, he still has reservations about the idea. Big, glaring, Lilia-shaped reservations. Will he need to bring some sort of medicines or antidotes with him, too?]
You don't get any..... help in the kitchen, do you?
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[ he says cheerfully. he knows... exactly what Jamil is getting at. ]
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[Is it a little too obvious that he's relieved at the thought? Sorry, Lilia. He'll have faith in your capabilities once you've proven yourself worthy of it. Just because you're knowledgeable doesn't mean you're actually competent, or even just willing to put that knowledge to good use.
It seems this Ruby girl has been watching Kalim's back, at least. Just what sort of person is she? Aside from yet another person he doesn't want to have to be indebted to, of course.....]
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Then it’s settled!
[ and now he’s trapped. Kalim just… missed him so much. ]
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[Yeah, it's settled. He's been cornered once again, just as easily as he has been in this booth. It's strange to see Kalim so relieved to see him, when they had only just parted mere hours ago..... but he supposes he'll just have to deal with that same jarring incongruence with everyone from school, won't he? Sheesh, as if this place isn't making his head hurt enough.....
Whatever fresh hell their captors intend to put them through, though? It seems some things in life never change. (No matter how much he might wish they would.) Somehow, in spite of himself, Jamil finds his arm ends up loosely slung around Kalim's shoulders as the boy leans against him. It's not quite cuddling back, but..... It's better than Kalim really has any grounds to hope for these days, isn't it? He'll just have to take what he can get.]
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Kalim's heart skips a beat, and he glances down. no, no, this isn't good. Jamil's just humoring him, he can't just--
he can't just look up at him like a lovesick puppy. but he wants to. still, he glances away, seeming to think. ]
There are a couple of places that have music, even musicians in the streets. I think you'd enjoy dancing to some of them, too. So, even if we're trapped here... It's not so bad.
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[Something curdles and knots tight in the pit of his stomach, cold and bitter like grief--but somehow, he doesn't have the heart to scold or lecture while they're sitting together like this. Even if that's a hopelessly naive perspective..... it's still a sincere one. Kalim probably is able to allow himself to be fairly happy here. But him.....
He can't forget about the bracelet binding his wrist like a shackle, or the collar cinched around Kalim's neck like a noose. He can't forget that every privilege he's being allowed--no, being forced upon him--is a double-edged and poisoned blade, that he's truly no more free than Kalim is now. Nothing he has is truly his own anymore, even what the Scalding Sands had once had no right to take from him. He may not be as poorly off as Kalim is--but it certainly feels as though he's more acutely aware of the harsh realities of their predicament.
It isn't as though he'll be able to do anything about it anytime soon, though..... So sure, why not look around at the musicians Kalim has found sometime? Maybe they'll make things feel a little more bearable.]
Honesty Hour
Aren't they adorable? And so curious and friendly! Too bad they seem irresistibly drawn to bite anything they can get their little fangs on, especially exposed skin. Fingers, noses, ears..... Surely they're just playing around, right? It isn't as though anything so small could cause any real harm.]
Hey there. You must be Kalim, yeah? Your buddy's in the kitchen.
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Oh!! You're the person helping Jamil? Who are you?
[ he asks as he steps inside, immediately reaching out to take this stranger's hand ]
I'm glad he has a new friend!
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[Have a firm shake, Kalim. You'd better hide your little friend pretty well; you wouldn't want him getting kicked out once Jamil comes out to greet you, would you?]
Name's Erik, by the way. Nice to meet ya. Guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other, huh?
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[ he's glad Jamil found someone. Hopefully it's someone he can rely on. Kalim won't have to worry... Maybe. ]
We should have some tea-- Jamil definitely should have some. I'm gonna go ask him!
[ he waves, and then heads into the kitchen ]
Jamil!!
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[He could have come picked you up from the Down, you know. But in the meantime, guess who's still cooking instead of trusting the prepared meals they could just order to spare himself the trouble? If the first thing he was offered in this place was tainted, then.....]
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So, that's your new submissive??
[ he knows how to navigate the up, after all, he works there now. the bunny that had hitched a ride, however, to get out of the cold... pops its head up out of his jacket. and then hops up onto his head from there. ]
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[Good, good. He knows how distracted Kalim can get; he wouldn't have been surprised to get a call and find that Kalim had lost his way, or to see him show up loaded down with shopping bags from an unexpected stop.
That said, Jamil can't help but huff in annoyance at the sight of a tiny, furry shape scampering up onto Kalim's head; he sets his spoon down, instead reaching for a dish towel to toss over it like a net.]
Ugh, another one? Hold still, I'll get it.
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[ Kalim looks up, and grins immediately ]
Oh! Where did this one come from?
[ not from him, that's for sure. While Jamil is reaching for a dish towel, Kalim simply... reaches up to grab it off of his head, without thinking ]
They're really cute...
[ he has yet to actually be bitten ]
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[Idiot! Does Kalim have any idea where that thing has been? Or what kind of infection he might get if it bites him? Maybe he can get it before it causes any trouble--]
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it doesn't look to be doing anything right now, as Kalim pets it. though, it does give just the littlest love nibble of his fingertips~ ]
Eh??
[ he pulls his hand back ]
I wonder if it's hungry...
[ though, he is bleeding, thanks to the bite. who knows what else could happen, but... he seems fine?? he's been hurt way worse. ]
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[Is it any wonder he's fussing, seeing that Kalim is bleeding? Who knows, this creature could even be diseased somehow. Just because it's small doesn't mean it can't cause big trouble!]
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[ he frowns, looking like he's thinking. now that he's been bit, though, the rabbit seems fine with being held.
But something's bothering him, something he was ignoring before. ]
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[Well, there's not much more harm a second bite could do, now that it's already happened. At least the creature doesn't seem to mind being held or stroked..... Kalim puts a hand on Kalim's back, gently but pointedly urging him towards the front door.]
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No, it bothers him a lot. He's been trying to keep it to himself as much as possible though, Jamil deserves the freedom. But--
He lets the rabbit go, kneeling down to urge it out the door, ]
We'll have to play more later! But Jamil says you can't be inside right now.
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[A quick click to turn the stove off, and Jamil leaves the soup to simmer, instead heading for the bathroom to grab an alcohol wipe.]
Alright, let's see it.
1/2
Jamil...
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[ he admits softly-- the other person doesn't need to hear. but Kalim can't help the jealousy that's welling up all of a sudden. ]
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[Jamil closes the door behind them again, raising his eyebrow as he takes Kalim's hand to clean it up. Barely more than a paper cut..... He hardly even has to think, to let a trickle of healing magic tingle against Kalim's fingertips and smooth over his skin.]
Look, I don't like having to participate in this travesty any more than you do. But if we want to survive, we just have to keep our heads down and do as we're told for now.
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[ he shouldn't say something, he shouldn't say something, he shouldn't say something.
that's what he would be thinking, anyway. but, no, he just wants to tell Jamil exactly what he thinks. ]
This was the longest we've been apart and we're still apart and I hate it!
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[He's right here. They're even touching, at least as long as he's taking care of the bite. How much more does Kalim really need to consider them to not be apart? Is he just confused because it's been so much longer for Kalim than it has been for him, or is this just..... nonsensical?
It isn't as though they could live communally like in Scarabia, in a place like this. Not without Lilia moving back into these apartments, which he obviously wouldn't be willing to do. And if he means literally living together..... It's not legal for two Dominants to share any sort of home, even if they keep their own Submissives, is it? They'd said you could let Submissives that aren't your own visit for a few days, but.....
Seven save him. With a Submissive of his own occupying the spare room now, he'd have to share his own bed. What a headache. Does Kalim seriously mean he should be Jamil's Submissive? There are so many things wrong with that suggestion, he doesn't even know where to begin. How inappropriate it is given their professional relationship, how irresponsible it is given their current circumstances.....
He should have known Kalim wouldn't actually share his feelings on the situation they're in. That's all on him, for daring to hope Kalim might understand his position a little more now.]
Kalim, you're already contracted. To one of your closest friends. You've made a commitment to Lilia for at least until its terms expire.
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He steps back. ]
Ahahaha, you're right...
[ where did the desire to even say that come from?? and now... well, he's lucky that Jamil doesn't look too upset. So, maybe it didn't matter that much?
Ah. That hurts to consider, too. ]
My bad, my bad...!
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Since when can Kalim keep secrets from anyone, let alone him? What had happened to him? Is he sick? Drugged? Poisoned? He had seemed fine when he arrived, and he hasn't eaten or drank anything since he got here--even ignoring the fact that anything Jamil made would obviously be clean. So..... poison, then? Do any bats have venom? It's certainly possible; those damn vermin probably feed on blood. Who knows what kind of transmittable diseases they could be carrying, too?
He knew handling those things bare-handed was a bad idea. Dammit! He can circle back around to actually letting himself think about any of this when there are less pressing matters to take care of.]
If you still feel that strongly about it, we can discuss it more when your contract expires. For now, you should at least sit down. How do you feel?
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[ he frowns at that first statement, completely ignoring the second. instead, he shakes his head, even though he wants to drop it ]
What do you want?
[ he asks instead, more insistent. He doesn't want to be taken care of right now. and even though he wants to drop it, his mouth is moving ahead without him thinking ]
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[Obviously. Why wouldn't this take priority? Does he need to call Lilia? He's Kalim's primary caretaker right now, after all--and with all those familiars he brought to school with him, Lilia should have some idea of what a bat--rabbit? Rabbat? Batbit?--bite might do to someone, even a strange, potentially magical chimera of one.]
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[ distracted-- and then blurting out his immediate thoughts without reservation ]
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[Can Kalim really be sure he's fine, without being looked over by someone familiar with those creatures? It's always better to head off potential problems, after all--what he really wants is no more trouble. What he wants is to not have to deal with any of this bullshit. What he really wants.....
Seven, he's so tired, right down to his soul. What he really wants is for everything to stop being so wrong.]
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Because I didn't want to say that. It just slipped out.
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[One is mere carelessness, the other proof of being influenced by something outside of his control. Kalim understands how dangerous such a seemingly tiny difference can be, doesn't he?]
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[ oops.
he does understand the difference. ]
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As I said, you should really sit down. Do you feel anything different than normal, aside from saying things when you don't want to?
[The latter, then. It has to be the latter. How is it that Kalim is actually holding things back, when he always seems to run his mouth without the slightest hesitation to consider what he's saying? What else has he been biting his tongue about? When he'd said he hates that Jamil has a Submissive other than him, he'd meant.....
Ridiculous. Lilia and Cater are Kalim's best friends, the ones who actually like him. Even if Kalim abandoned Lilia for his sake, that wouldn't actually make him happy. Surely Kalim would just be miserable for it, shattering Lilia's trust by breaking their contract, living under the control of a traitor who had nearly killed him. Wouldn't he?]
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well... Over Jamil not even trying to ask him...
It made it seem that much smaller of him. His smile is a bit subdued, but it's still there. ]
No, I think that's it. Ahh, sorry. I hadn't considered it until you said something.
[ he can't quite make himself laugh it off-- at least not yet. ]
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[Jamil puts a hand on Kalim's shoulder to gently steer him towards the couch; if it's really so insidious, then he should probably keep an eye on him for now, hmmm?]
Would you mind looking through the network for anything about rabbit bites?
Those Teeny Sanguini things, you mean? Sure, I'm on it.
[There, now he'll be cleared out of the way for a while and doing something useful. If Kalim really is feeling like this, it's probably better the two of them don't have to spend time together for the moment, right? They can just..... figure out what happened, and what he needs.]
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But...
Maybe Jamil was right. And he really should stop questioning it. After all, that just made him feel worse. And who knows when one of them might leave again-- a feeling that causes a tightness in his chest. He really should just trust him.
After all, it's not like he knows any better either. ]
I could ask around too!
[ he offers instead, two immediate names coming to mind. and he's digging out his phone, focusing on that for now. ]
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Hah..... as if Kalim has ever had a treasonous or subversive thought in his life. Even the worst guards here probably couldn't find anything to be angry about if Kalim spoke candidly with them, without making accusations up entirely. Meanwhile, even as a Dominant here..... he'd probably end up far worse off than just arrested.
Still..... this could just be the first step, too. Some poison takes a while to kick in. Some illnesses can incubate for days before the true misery they inflict makes itself known. Who knows what simply blurting things out could progress into? Jamil settles down next to Kalim, close enough to be able to watch him carefully--and definitely not because it's close enough that Kalim could lean against him, if he needs to.]
You probably do know who's been around for the longest..... Surely at least one of them has prior experience with these things.
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[ just don't ask why he knows where floyd lives, he may just tell him. ]
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[He's spent enough time with Floyd at Basketball Club to know just how..... flighty the man is. Impulsively speaking his mind seems to be Floyd's default state, not something he'd need to be sick or poisoned to induce.
That said, he is very pointedly assuming that Kalim has paid social visits to all of his friends, and enjoying their hospitality just as much as he enjoys showing his own. If his assumptions are wrong, he doesn't need to know. Given the "caliber" of classmates they attended Night Raven College with, why would he have any desire to know about their sexual exploits? Strangers are much safer and easier.]
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[ implicitly agreeing, Floyd might not know or care. Though, if it were dangerous, he was pretty sure Floyd would notice.
Maybe...
Kalim pulls a leg up, letting his foot rest against his thigh, while his hands rest on his ankle. ]
And there's where I work too-- Rayne sells all sorts of antidotes, he's made sure to tell me which ones are which!
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[Ugh. Ugh. Azul is a far slimier leech than either of the twins could ever hope to be. Knowing him, Azul would not only have antidotes prepared for these creatures, but also sell them at a steep markup. It's possible Jade would know, with his interest in flora and fauna..... But he has to admit, someone who runs a potion shop sounds more knowledgeable and promising than either of them.]
You're welcome to call any of them, if you think they might have some answers.
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[ he answers easily enough, and all it would take is a well crafted text. Which means it probably won’t be well crafted, just earnest and honest instead. Something to distract him from the occasional pangs of jealousy he feels and has to bite down.
He can’t force Jamil into that sort of situation. He knows he can’t, and with Jamil taking their positions at home so seriously still…
Keep quiet. It’s easier that way. ]
There’s Rayne, and now Floyd.
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Jamilpeople, how much money he might be spending, how it might affect his reputation..........Or does he? What a strange thing to question, when it's been a universal constant for what seems like their whole lives. But hearing this outburst now..... Just because he hates having his privacy violated doesn't mean he has any qualms about prying into others' affairs. He can use this, if it turns out the consequences of being bitten are as minor as Kalim seems to believe.
After all, Kalim has been here for some time, now--things are bound to have changed. Knowing exactly where Kalim stands can only be beneficial in the long run, even if he has a sneaking suspicion that he's going to hate dealing with it in the moment.]
While we wait for their answers..... there isn't anything else you need to get off your chest, is there?
[Start broad. Start simple. Yes or no questions are a good foundation to begin fishing for specific details, once he gets a better idea of what he's working with, is able to define what the rules of this malady are. If this is a game of pulling things to the surface of Kalim's thoughts and just waiting for them to spill out of their own accord, then patience is the word of the day.]
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[ he hits send, and then looks bak at Jamil with a simple smile ]
What did you say? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
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[Typical. That's on him for expecting Kalim to be able to split his attention, isn't it? Maybe Kalim will at least feel better, seeing the rueful look on Jamil's face softening his obvious worry.]
I asked if there was anything else you've been meaning to tell me.
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[ he frowns, ]
No, there's just stuff I don't want to tell you.
[ -- his eyes immediately widen and he goes to clamp a hand over his mouth.
that... that was not what he meant to say at all ]
I didn't mean to say that...
[ he says, muffled through his fingers. ]
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[Jamil doesn't need to say "I told you so." over this, does he? Surely Kalim is realizing the severity of the predicament he's in. Maybe not regretting his actions the way he should, but..... he'll take a clear awareness that what's happening to him is cause for alarm, over blithely insisting that everything is fine.]
Such as.....?
[And now, like turning on a faucet, the words should come gushing out, shouldn't they? He doesn't like the thought that there may be things he doesn't know, things he's overlooking, let alone things being deliberately hidden from him..... It's unnatural, after Kalim has spent his whole life considering him his confidant. It's.....
No. He just hates being caught unprepared and in the dark, that's all. Nothing more. It's not as though he's falling back on hypnotizing Kalim again, so it's fine, right? He's just..... giving Kalim an opportunity to speak his mind, not forcing him to do anything. Nothing wrong with that.]
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And Jamil was always worrying.
His eyebrows crease together as he looks at Jamil, very seriously, refocusing his thoughts, ]
I don't want you to worry or be upset, it's not that big of a deal that--
[ his hands clamp over his mouth again, muffling what he says next ]
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[That much is obvious, with how hard Kalim is trying to resist the impulse to talk. But this is an important experiment, isn't it? If Kalim knows he hasn't been heard, does he feel compelled to speak up more clearly until he's been understood? Or is that impulse satisfied by simply saying it once, even if nobody heard him? Sorry, Kalim--you don't seem to be in immediate danger yet, so while your friends are getting back to you, he can afford to be a little calculating.]
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Kalim finds it hard to believe-- and he knows now that Jamil will lie and say what he wants to get something but also, what if he isn't lying?
still, there are a lot of thoughts percolating in his head and he shakes his head.
He doesn't really want to talk about the stuff that's happened, or how easy it is to not feel like yourself, or how he's struggling to manage the thought of Jamil having to make quota without that jealousy. all of these things are too much, and obviously confusing. ]
Mm-mm!!
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[It makes no sense, if he's honest. A human is dozens, maybe hundreds of times more than one of those rabbits could possibly eat, and they don't seem to hunt in packs. And forcing someone to tell the truth doesn't seem to be conducive to keeping someone still enough to drink their blood, if that's what they feed on.
Is there some hidden danger here they're not seeing yet? Some long-delayed symptoms, if it's actually venom and not a curse? Is the point to freeze their victim in emotional distress, or for one scout to lock multiple people in turmoil so the whole colony can descend on all of them and drain them dry? That's not something any of them need to worry about, as long as they stay inside. The more he's watching Kalim, though, the longer they're going without any other symptoms becoming apparent.....]
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[ he says, again without thinking ]
I don't want you to worry, or get hurt and everything really is tricky here-- this isn't even one of the worst ones!
[ it seems, he has lost the fight with keeping his hands over his mouth, with the need to gesture widely ]
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[What is the beginning? He doesn't know. Kalim probably doesn't know either, but this..... whatever it is might be able to latch onto the suggestion somehow. Is Kalim really in any position to worry about him, when he's the one who might need a doctor? He's.....
He'll be fine. Being fine is what Jamil does best, after all. What's one or two more things to worry about?]
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[ he shakes his head. ]
It's not even as simple as drinking something, like what happened on the first day I got here.
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You got poisoned immediately?
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Don't worry, don't worry! It wasn't that bad! It was just the stuff they sometimes put in everything to make you want to have sex!
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[No. No, no, no, nope, absolutely not. He is not going to be the one to have the "you cannot give consent if you're drunk" conversation with Kalim. That's Lilia's responsibility. Whoever..... deflowered Kalim..... Jamil refuses to damage their relationship by pointing out they forced themselves onto him. Odds are both parties were drugged, after all--they probably couldn't help it any more than Kalim could. Not that it makes things any better, by any means.....
If anything, it only makes Jamil's pure disgust for this whole situation and their captors burn that much deeper. What kind of sick bastards would do this to people?!]
I see now why they try to force refreshments onto people.
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[ he trails off, thinking. Actually, more like observing Jamil. His worry over how upset Jamil is taking precedence over the venom, at least for now.
he knows that he's stressed... and Kalim doesn't want to be part of making it worse. ]
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[Kalim doesn't eat or drink outside his own home anymore, and he still ends up drugged somehow? To say that's troubling would be an understatement. How else are they even supposed to protect themselves, at this point? How could he not be stressed out, knowing they're apparently constantly at risk with no way to hold onto their senses and sound judgment?!]
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[What the fuck. What the fuck. What kind of godsforsaken hellscape is this? Is magic mind-altering weather seriously naturally-occurring? How? Why?!]
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[Kalim has way, way too much faith in him, if he thinks just being careful is enough to somehow negate entire weather patterns. Maybe they weren't kidnapped at all. Maybe they've all just died, and this is Hell.]
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[ jamil absolutely would not have made that mistake. ever. ]
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[They had to wear masks just to go outside, masks which were prone to breaking for some reason. Probably by design, if the rest of this cesspool of a city is anything to go by. That means it has to be something airborne, and houses and apartments most certainly aren't airtight. The evidence for this being Hell is mounting more and more by the second.
Give him a minute to just..... stop thousand yard staring into the distance, and pull out his device to add masks to a shopping list. Better to have something like that before it becomes necessary. Let him guess, are there no sorts of weather forecasts that could predict what should be rightly considered some kind of natural disaster? Of course there wouldn't be. Could you even tell it was happening, before you unwittingly stepped outside and lost your mind?]
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[ he just watches him go quiet, and is... confused-- but also... he isn't confused, he knew this would upset him. ]
Ahaha... Sorry.
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[Jamil just shakes his head dismissively, scrubbing at his face in wordless weariness. Better to find out about this from Kalim now, than walk face-first into it and be confused and taken by surprise..... As if there wasn't enough already to try and think of contingencies for. These rabbit creatures are already a nasty enough unknown to deal with.]
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Well, you can plan later, right?
[ he just wants to spend time with him now, not see him spiral needlessly ]
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[Not when there's still the issue that sparked this whole conversation to begin with. Excuse him if he glances at Kalim's device; does Rayne or Floyd have anything to say about these tiny menaces?]
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We could do something else in the meantime, then!
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[Sigh. Who knows how quick Floyd will be to respond without knowing what his mood is at the moment? He could just as easily respond in 10 minutes or 10 hours.]
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We could watch a movie?
Wait, no, a lot of them have sex here.
Music is only good if we go outside, I think... The ones with music also have a ton of stuff about sex in them.
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[Absolutely not. It's bad enough that Kalim's already been bitten; he has no intention of risking himself unnecessarily. Unless, of course, it's to walk Kalim home and make sure he doesn't end up in an even worse state somehow.....]
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[He admits nothing. He's just being careful, it's definitely nothing deeper than that. Why would Kalim ever think he'd struggle more with being honest? That's just ridiculous.]
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[ hmm, but he seems to be accepting that answer...... ]
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Either way, we shouldn't go outside uneccessarily. I'm sure we can find something to occupy ourselves that isn't completely tasteless.
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getting distracted, and not focusing. there's no real idea, he just seems to have completely stalled out for the moment. ]
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[Great, don't him Kalim's broken somehow. Does he need to lie down for a nap or something?]
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[ he opens his eyes, and then laughs, completely cheerful ]
Oh! Sorry... I felt a little like I was blanking out for a second. I can't think of anything that isn't a little impacted by this place, if you don't wanna go outside!
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I'm not so easily offended that I can't handle vulgar subject matter, if that's what you're worried about. If nothing else, you can at least stay for dinner; I'd just about finished by the time you came.
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[ his eyes light up, and suddenly, he is leaning in close. even if he's been cooking for himself, it can't be denied... there's no one else whose cooking he loves more than Jamil's.
and if Jamil's made something, Kalim absolutely wants to eat it. ]
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[Well, now. That perked him right up, didn't it? Clearly the symptoms can't be that bad, if Kalim is so keen.]
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That sounds amazing! When will it be done??
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[What. What. Why is he--?
For a moment, Jamil just freezes up entirely rather than return the kiss, wide-eyed and flustered as Kalim presses against him. There's no hood to hide the way he flushes, this time; instead, all he can do is awkwardly clear his throat. Maybe it's time to beat a hasty retreat.....]
I-it's been simmering for a few minutes now, so..... I should probably check on it.
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[ Kalim backs away, clearly intending on following him. ]
Let's check.
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[Maybe he can just..... will himself to stop being red. Or blame it on the chill. Honestly, for someone so concerned about watching inappropriate material on television, Kalim certainly doesn't seem to have any qualms about kissing a friend out of the blue..... Anyone would be shocked, right?
Just..... pretend nothing out of the ordinary happened. It's the simplest way to preserve his dignity. Jamil leads the way back into the kitchen, fishing a spoon out of the drawer to sample soup straight from the pot. No need to worry about poison here, hmmm?]
A little more lemon juice ought to do the trick.
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And of the smells. He really does miss home, sometimes. Nothing’s as delicious as scalding sands cuisine. ]
So, almost ready?
[ he seems to start looking in the general direction he thinks Jamil would’ve put the lemon juice. ]
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Jamil pulls a bottle out of the fridge, carefully pouring and stirring. Should he portion out three servings? Hmmm, probably not; it'll stay hotter longer if he just leaves the rest in the pot. His Submissive will just come get some when he's hungry, right?]
There, it should be ready now. We'll just need to set the table.
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[ and he's off, before Jamil can get a protest in edgewise. but if he isn't stopped, he'll set out three placemats.
... even if he does look at the third a little too long. ]
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[--really don't have to do that. Sigh. Kalim is already off and away before he can even finish his thought. Even if he wasn't though, would Kalim actually listen? Well, at least he can't hurt himself with silverware and placemats.....
Whatever. He'll just..... ladle out two bowls for them, and set the empty one down once Kalim is done
contemplating Jamil's poor life choices. ]no subject
[ when he notices the two, versus the three settings he put out. and it's more curious than anything else... At least, for now. ]
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[Dinner was practically already ready by the time Kalim showed up to begin with, after all; nothing's stopping the guy. If he prefers to eat alone, that's fine, isn't it?
Or far more likely, he'd immediately cottoned onto the fact that they needed a little space to talk. You can't exactly become a thief worth your salt without having a talent for reading people, can you?]no subject
[ he tilts his head though, unsure about that. And maybe torn between feeling a little happy, and sad.
because he's like jamil's family here in Duplicity, right...? ]
Ahahaha, yeah, okay. You're definitely right.
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[Outside of these walls, he'll play the role he's been forced into, however reluctantly it may be. Here, though..... Jamil just wants to be free. He doesn't want to control the Submissive he was forced to hire any more than strictly necessary. How could he consider a stranger family, just because they decided to live together out of convenience? They've barely even known each other a day. A city like this, a system like this..... it doesn't exactly give you much time or opportunity to form a meaningful connection with someone.
Unlike Kalim, he hadn't had the luxury of someone conveniently free to sign a contract with him immediately. All the familiar faces here had prior commitments to honor, Kalim included--and even if they hadn't, most of them he wouldn't want to live with anyway.]
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It almost felt like home, again, where they could share a meal, and all of his troubles would fade away ]
Ahhh, it's perfect as usual! I really missed eating your cooking...!!
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[Now that he's here, he'll actually be able to keep an eye on Kalim and his diet again. He'll be able to bring things over, if Kalim doesn't decide to come by on his own initiative--even if it's going to be a real headache, routinely hauling food through a security checkpoint and down an elevator. What good would complaining do, though?
He'll manage. He always does.]
They allowed me to order groceries instead of prepared meals, so I should be able to bring down anything you need, as well.
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[ he says, another spoonful halfway to his mouth. Jamil cooking again, though... that does sound really tempting.
But he wants to make Jamil something too... ]
Don't worry, I've been getting good deals on ingredients already!!
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[None of them asked to be here, after all. Why shouldn't they milk this """generosity""" for all it's worth, if they're going to be forcibly held here against their will? If they don't need to worry about the basic necessities of survival, their money can go towards safety and comfort--or, if they're really unlucky, bail or bribes.]
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[ he doesn't get it, Jamil. you might need to spell it out for him ]
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[Is it taking advantage of a charitable offer? Oh, shamelessly. But if they have the money to run this kind of interdimensional kidnapping business, then he doesn't feel even the slightest bit of remorse over letting them bankroll an extra household. If they bankrupt themselves trying to support their captives, and can't sustain their own operations, so much the better!]
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[ Kalim's eyes light up, and then he laughs, the "why" being mostly forgotten for how he can do it. ]
I'm really glad they're treating you that nicely.
Of dreams and death
And yet, ringing the bell on the desk repeatedly doesn't summon any staff to help him, doesn't even bring anyone to scold him for making a racket. Nobody appears even when he lets himself behind the desk and tries opening the employees only door. A completely empty manager's office, silent and still as the grave. The keyboard behind the desk is even a little dusty, in a way that makes his hackles raise without quite knowing why. It's not hard to figure out how to use, (isn't this illegal? Who's even going to know, if there's nobody to check the security cameras?) or to realize that there's nobody booked in at all. Why, though?
Well, if there's nobody to help him, he'll just..... have to help himself. He's perfectly capable of taking care of himself, after all. If anything, it'll be a welcome change to figure things out without needing to worry about watching over anyone else. A moment of hesitation, and Jamil pockets an entire keyring, grabbing his suitcase and heading off. May as well make sure he can go wherever he wants if there's nobody to stop him, hmmm? Nobody to tell him what to do, or what he can't do..... Until he finds someone else, or determines for certain that he is completely alone, this entire place is his to do with as he pleases.
How..... "fun". He has to admit, this isn't exactly the kind of freedom he'd been envisioning this trip would give him. Is this just some sort of abandoned branch that was mistakenly still listed on the website, yet hadn't been locked up and condemned? Is he really allowed to be here? Should he call the police?]
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It doesn't even occur to him that the scenery is changing, that this isn't the al-Asim mansion, the Scarabia dorm, or the little cottage in the Down. The difference doesn't stand out to him so much as the overwhelming fear of being alone.
Finally, he calls out in a frightened voice, ]
Jamil??
[ someone, anyone, please... there has to be someone here, or else... or else... ]
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Maybe he should just leave. He still has plenty of gas--he can just..... find some local to ask, and probably end up feeling completely absurd for making such a massive mistake in booking his lodgings. It isn't as though--]
Who's there?!
[Was that a voice? Jamil flattens himself against the nearest wall, drawing his magical pen--but his eyes glaze over Kalim without the slightest hint of recognition, even as he scans the hall for movement.]
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he isn't alone. It was just a misunderstanding. And he puts the feeling he had just nearly been consumed with out of his mind entirely, running towards Jamil's voice.
Walls, space, they don't stop him. He almost feels like he passes through them, and sure enough when he finally does appear in front of Jamil, when he goes to hug him, he goes straight through him ]
-- Uwah! Huh?
But you're here! It's so quiet, huh! I was a little worried, ahahaha! What are you doing??
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[Jamil huffs in equal measures annoyance and relief, smile sardonic. Of all the times to let paranoia get to him..... This isn't some movie, it's real life. Even if this place is haunted, the odds that the ghost is actually hostile are pretty low. More to the point, even if there's a hostile ghost here, it's probably nothing he can't handle. He's fought ghosts before, after all, hasn't he?]
Is there even any point in checking the rest of the rooms? There's no way I'll actually find anyone in a place like this..... This is just a waste of time.
[Jamil shakes his head, turning away from Kalim and tucking his pen back into his pocket in favor of pulling his phone out.]
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[ Kalim watches him turn and walk away, and he's frozen for a moment, his heart seizing in his throat. He has to force himself to be very still. Jamil is right there, but Jamil doesn't see him?
Ah... Is that how it is right now? ]
W...
[ he wants to say something, but his mouth isn't working, and when he finishes, it comes out more like a croak ]
Wait...!
[ and he follows behind him in a daze.
jamil is right there. but he's still alone. but jamil looks happy, so, it's fine?
it's fine. he'll just follow. He can watch, for now, til it makes sense to do something else. If it ever makes sense to do something else. ]
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[Jamil pauses and peers over his shoulder, eyes narrowed suspiciously as he stares straight through Kalim. Had he heard footsteps? Seven, he's definitely letting his imagination run away with him, now. Being all alone in a place like this, that should be full of people and life..... It must just be getting under his skin. He'll just tap a few buttons, listen to the phone ring, and--no, that's definitely Kalim's voicemail. Jamil mutters a few exceptionally vulgar words under his breath.]
Kalim did say not to check in too often, didn't he? He's probably trying not to answer my number. Najima doesn't even answer her phone normally if you don't text ahead of time.....
Ugh, forget it. I'll just get a room somewhere else; I can always come back if they're booked up. Or maybe just sleep in the car?
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[ he protests, following after him in confusion. why is this happening?? he rubs at his eyes... what is going on??
another attempt to touch him simply ends with his hand going through again, leaving his body shaking from the lack of impact. He lets out a small, frightened cry, and then presses his hands to his temples.
and just trying to not freak out. as his mind supplies what has happened. that he's a ghost. that they won't interact again. that Jamil thinks he doesn't want to hear from him. ]
No...
[ he ends up falling back and sliding down a wall.
and tries to calm down, tries not to panic. ]
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What was next on the itinerary? A walking tour..... That's sure to be busy. It can't hurt to get an early start.
[There's no sense in lingering here..... But even so Jamil can't help but hesitate, confused and uncertain, shaking his head as he looks back towards where Kalim is huddled. What is he even looking for, at this point?]
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Just, one small step.
He looks up, his breath still unsteady, and his body unbelievably heavy. But he slowly pushes himself up to his knees.
And then to his feet. ]
Wait...
[ he'll follow, but please don't leave without him. though, he can't help the tears that roll down his cheeks. ]
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A deep, shaky breath, and Jamil turns to go, Kalim close at his heels. Another momentary hesitation, and he decides not to leave the keys at the desk, just in case--he heads back to his car instead, slowing to peer into the windows of the other, clearly abandoned (but why?) vehicles as he passes. The engine turns on, the radio turns on..... He's starting to feel a little silly for freaking out, if he's honest--even if that nagging sense of wrongness is still making the hairs on the back of his neck prickle.
Everything is fine. He's fine. So what is it that makes him wait to go until Kalim is in the car with him?]
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Jamil's all alone. And he wipes his eyes, accepting that maybe Jamil can't see him. But he doesn't have to be alone-- isn't that how it works now? If he's a ghost, he'll have to get creative in other ways, until he can't be around at all anymore.
this music-- actually, it's a commercial, isn't it?? maybe they could find another station actually playing music.
that'll cheer him up. ]
Gotta get excited for the, uh... tour, right?? That's what we're doing?
[ the radio at least responds to him, until he can find actual music. ]
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[Oh, geez. He can't take his eyes off the road to check what the radio is doing, but breaking down on the side of the road is the absolute last thing he needs after a morning like this. It's a mercifully short drive, at least, and nothing else seems to be wrong..... until he pulls into the first parking space he finds, and actually looks around for the meeting place at the mouth of the trail.]
How is there nobody here?!
[You've got to be fucking kidding right now. For a moment, the horn blares as his grip on the steering wheel grows white-knuckled without thinking, the sound bizarrely distant and muffled, distorted. A place like this should be absolutely jam packed with groups coming and going, shouldn't it? Is he hallucinating right now? He's losing his goddamn mind to the tune of cheerful, energetic pop songs Kalim had found. If he weren't stressed beyond belief, it might actually be funny; this is hardly a fitting soundtrack for the horror movie his vacation feels like it's become.]
.....Is there even a point to still going.....? Could I make it home if I tried?
[Technically speaking, nothing is stopping him from just..... having his trip anyway. None of it needs other people to do anything for him so far. He could walk the trail alone easily and take in the sights. He could pick any room in that place, and cook and clean for himself. He could do absolutely anything he wanted--except enjoy himself, with this pervasive sense of dread hanging over him. But what if there's nobody that can get him back to the Scalding Sands? Or.....
What if there's nobody in the Scalding Sands to get back to? What if something happened? Maybe instead of picking either option, he'll spiral uselessly around hypothetical worst-case scenarios. That will surely help.]
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[ Kalim doesn't know what is going on, but suddenly, he doesn't look happy? He reaches out, to almost touch him, his brows furrowed in concern. Focusing on Jamil, it makes the panic he felt a moment ago feel silly.
How could he be upset, when Jamil really is all alone? He just wishes he could let him know he was there. that he should enjoy his time alone, isn't this what he always wanted?
he's accepted his fate, but that's no reason for Jamil to not... to not... ]
Go and enjoy yourself anyway... I'll keep you company, even if you can't see me. You're free, right?
[ he motions as if he means to stroke his cheek, a momentary affection that he's always wanted to do, but never could while they were both alive. ]
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But he could swear he hears a voice, almost right next to his ear, and it almost feels like.....
All at once, there's a hand warm against his cheek, and he's not alone with his thoughts at all. There's a fleeting moment of something soft and vulnerable, relief alongside the confusion--until he consciously registers what he's seeing, and Jamil's expression turns to pure alarm. He doesn't have the presence of mind to flip into self-defense mode, thankfully--instead, he recoils with an undignified yelp of surprise, back hitting the car door so hard it rattles in its frame.
Thank the Seven the engine is already off, and his seatbelt was still on; the last thing either of them needs right now is the car rolling away while he's too spooked to keep his foot on the brakes, or Jamil falling out and hitting his head--or even worse, actually hurting Kalim before he realized it was him.]
Kalim?! How the hell did you get here??
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[ he looks at him in confusion, clearly not expecting to be acknowledged. Actually, that’s really good, isn’t it?
And he breaks into a smile. ]
You can see me now! Good!! I thought we’d never talk again.
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[He's rattled enough, Kalim, don't talk like one of them is about to die. Today has already had more than enough scares!]
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[ Kalim tilts his head- and then shakes it. Right now, they should take advantage of the fact that they can see each other. ]
Let’s go on that tour you wanted to do together! I don’t know how much longer we have. Maybe we’ll find someone else there for you.
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[What is he supposed to think, when Kalim is sounding so..... so morbid? It sets his teeth on edge, with how out of character it feels. What does Kalim know that he doesn't, that's making things sound so dire?]
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[ he tilts his head, thoughtful, ]
Well… I’m a ghost, I think? Or else I wouldn’t have been able to make it… I just remember looking for someone, and then I saw you!
But you couldn’t see me at first. So I wanted to make sure you were having fun on your big trip, before I couldn’t do that anymore.
[ then he looks at him more seriously, a little sad and a little bittersweet ]
But if I’m a ghost that must mean I died.
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[And now his heart is pounding for an entirely different reason. Kalim had died? The very first day he'd even left? How? Why?! What had happened? They would have called him to rush home, wouldn't they? Could he have prevented it if he had been there, instead of off wasting his time like this? As many times as he's wished he didn't have to deal with Kalim, he still.....
Gods, he feels sick.
Kalim sounds so..... cavalier about it all. It's as though he doesn't even care. Does he remember how he died, or had it happened too fast? Was he unconcious for it? But..... he'd be able to see a ghost, wouldn't he? And Kalim's touch had felt so warm..... Had he even died at all? Ghosts normally struggle to physically interact with people outside of Halloween, or in the Spectral Realm, and they're in neither right now--that's why they'd needed to deal with them through magic. Something doesn't add up; even this level of panic can't shut down his
constant, crippling overthinking habitmind entirely.Jamil reaches out to pinch Kalim's arm, short and sharp.]
Could a ghost feel this?
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Maybe that's how it normally is... I don't know why you could see me suddenly.
[ he's a little concerned, and reaches up to Jamil, miming cupping his face, as his hands seem to lose their shape, as he fades a little with that acceptance of death. ]
Let's go on that walk. Someone's gotta be there, right...?? I don't want you to be alone.
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I..... guess we may as well, since we're here. But I'm not exactly alone anymore, am I?
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[ getting out of the car is easy for him, it's like... falling backwards, no need to even open the door. he just steps back, cheerful. Not realizing that Jamil is struggling. ]
What kind of tour is this??
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[Of course Kalim wants to stay. That's all he's ever wanted, isn't it? And yet the moment Jamil himself had tried to escape, even temporarily..... What a sick, twisted joke. He can't even laugh. A trip like this certainly can't make him happy, now..... But maybe Kalim will be.
Jamil climbs out of the car and locks up, almost in a daze, hands staying tucked in his pockets as he puts away his keys; better he doesn't show the way his nails are digging into his palms to keep himself steady. He can do this. He can just..... lead the way, and talk about what he had researched. That's simple. It's easy. It's.....
It's not even remotely fine. He desperately doesn't want to be here anymore, even as he puts one foot in front of the other.]
It's..... a nature tour. The Seven Jeweled Hills are unique in their magestone formations; the microscopic crystals that grow here are flecked throughout the rock. They're so small that trying to mine them would just grind them into useless powder--but there are so many creating so much ambient magic that the land and water themselves supposedly glow like gems whenever it's dark.
It's home to plenty of protected magical plants and direbeasts. People claim the air and water here have all sorts of mystical benefits--but they also claim that it got its name from every one of the Great Seven apparently making a pilgrimage here at some point in their lives. So who knows?
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[ he turns to look towards the hills then, ]
This would definitely be the kind of place I'd want to visit! I wonder if you can see them glowing already??
[ he steps in front of Jamil, half tempted to break off, but stops himself, and turns around, reaching out to grab his sleeve. there's a moment where it looks like his hand might phase through-- but he seems to be solid again, as he tugs him along ]
Come on, come on!! I bet everyone's just inside already!
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[He seriously doubts anything will be glowing, save perhaps the shadows, when the sun is so high in the sky--the hills might be sparkling from reflecting all that light, though? It's the reason he'd booked himself for a midday trip, as well as one well past sunset. His camera is still sitting in his luggage, in fact--but somehow, the very idea of bringing it along is distasteful. Something like this..... he doesn't think he'll be able to enjoy their surroundings, no matter how beautiful. Nor does he really..... want to hold onto memories of this trip, if he's honest.
Thinking about being out here, when he at best will need to help with funeral preparations once he gets back home, and at worst won't have a place to go back to at all..... These memories will only taste like bile and ash on his tongue.
Strange how grim his thoughts are, compared to how comically he stumbles over his own feet as Kalim pulls him along. He's not exactly the most focused right now, after all--how can he be, when he's not expecting Kalim to be solid again? It's almost like nothing is wrong with him at all, when Kalim is acting like this. Doesn't he realize the situation he's in?]
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[ a pause, and he slows down for a moment. Wait... he was able to touch Jamil again?? He looks more seriously at where his arm is grabbing Jamil's, staring a little bit in disbelief. he hadn't thought anything of it when he reached out.
but he doesn't want to let go, not like when he couldn't touch his face anymore. he doesn't want to leave Jamil behind, and he's struck with the sudden fear that he will. And that everything will be gone soon.
It's like he short circuits. he doesn't want to die, but he knows it's going to happen, and he wants to enjoy every moment. but he doesn't want to be a ghost. and he doesn't want to abandon Jamil.
it's so quiet, but the thoughts in his head are so hard to ignore, he can't even remember what they were talking about. ]
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Is that even possible? It's hard to imagine Kalim genuinely angry. It's..... unsettling, in a way he's not sure he could explain if he tried--much like how seeing the wind sucked out of Kalim's sails now leaves him feeling so viscerally uncomfortable. For once, Jamil doesn't try to pull out of Kalim's grasp; he simply hunches his shoulders awkwardly, lengthening his stride to catch up and ensure Kalim doesn't have to drag him. Today..... they can go together, can't they?]
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[ he should move, that's right. He turns to look towards the hills. surely, they will be glowing. though, should he let Jamil go? He realizes now, selfishly, he doesn't want to let go. but Jamil wanted this trip for himself. Not to have to entertain him.
but what if next time, he can't grab him...?
he swallows nervously, his grip loosening, becoming more incorporeal as he overthinks it ]
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[Somehow, Jamil can't find it in himself to smile, no matter how often he plasters them on for the sake of politeness or empty flattery in his daily life. He can at least try to offer some semblance of reassurance at least, even if he couldn't possibly believe his own words any less--it seems like the only thing he can do, feeling Kalim's grasp grow gradually more insubstantial and cold.
They're not going to find anyone out there. They're not going to find anything out there. Jamil knows that with more certainty than he should, heavy and cold in the pit of his stomach. How pretty the landscape is does nothing to alleviate his anxiety--especially when the farther they go, the lovelier and wilder it seems to get. A popular tourist attraction shouldn't have a trail that gets rougher and more overgrown, should it? The wilderness shouldn't be trying to reclaim this place, as though they're the only ones who have wandered through some distant, isolated grove in recent memory. There's a paved parking lot not that far away, for the Seven's sake.]
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[ the best part of going where it’s more wild; there are more wild flowers strewn in and plants and hanging vines— the sort of things you could only see in the fanciest of garden in the Scalding Sands.
Kalim’s seen well kept gardens, but something like this seems precious and worth appreciating.
But better yet, it distracts him. And while his form doesn’t get anymore solid, it doesn’t seem as on the verge of disappearing as it did before. He lets go of Jamil’s arm to wander away, to see some of the plants with a smile.
He would’ve liked to come someplace like this before… but he’s glad he got to see it anyway. ]
This already was a really good idea, and we haven’t even gotten that far!
[ he says, turning on his heel wildly to grin at Jamil, hands and one leg extended in excitement ]
Let’s go, let’s go!
[ and off he darts, further down the path, disappearing around a bend ]
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[And isn't that a strange thought? You shouldn't be able to get lost somewhere so well-traveled..... and yet, it feels like there's a very real threat of the path disappearing entirely at any moment, swallowed up by undergrowth until they find themselves somewhere they're not meant to go at all. This isn't looking like any of the photographs he'd seen while researching. Sure, it's pretty, but.....
It's not right. It's not supposed to be like this. It's not what he'd expected, and more than anything else, Jamil hates surprises. Hasn't enough gone horribly wrong already today? He can't even be glad that Kalim has perked back up, when he immediately finds himself running to catch up with the boy to make sure they don't get separated. What the hell would he do if he ended up really all alone out here?]
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He just wants to see as much of this as possible. It’s too soon for him to go, they’ve only just started. ]
Look, Jamil! Isn’t it pretty??
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Jamil is panting and ruffled by the time they stop, nearly pitching headfirst into water that shimmers like molten magestone from trying to stop so abruptly. The branches weaving overhead create an awful lot of natural shade..... But it doesn't feel dark, does it? Not with glittering rocks, and clusters of lanternblossoms growing along the water's edge, and wildflowers in fantastic colors that nature alone couldn't possibly produce.]
I..... I guess? What were you thinking, rushing off like that?
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[ he says easily, turning to face him. ]
And then when I looked around, I understood why you wanted to go to this place too.
[ or maybe he didn’t, that causes a moment of hesitation, but he brushes past it to keep talking with enthusiasm. ]
This place is almost the opposite of the desert, while still being on land, right? But the way it sparkles reminds me of the desert in moonlight. So, it’s just different enough…
I’m glad I got to see this with you.
[ without thinking… he leans up and kisses his cheek ]
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He doesn't know. Even as far away from the Scalding Sands as he can physically get, even in an environment as different from the desert as it could possibly be, even seeing the world with nobody and nothing to weigh him down..... He doesn't feel any better. None of this has managed to actually make him feel free, let alone happy. And mysterious circumstances aside, just look at what this idiocy has cost them. Kalim is.....
Kissing him? Why? He doesn't deserve this. He's the last person Kalim should--should be--
For a moment, his heart freezes in his chest. Jamil turns away to hide how his eyes start to burn, struggling futilely to keep his voice even.]
Wh-what are you doing?
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[ oops, he pulls back... ]
Sorry... I really wanted to.
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[With this. With him. How can he tell if he likes it, when it ties his stomach in knots?]
We both are. I should be on a plane back right now.
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[ he looks back up at him, shocked. ]
Why?? Isn't this the vacation you've been looking forward to all this time?
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[There's no reason for him to be angry at Kalim. Kalim should be angry with him, if anything. But something feels like it's twisting and fraying and splintering inside him, like a jackal tearing its prey limb from limb. He can't help the way tears spill hot or his voice abruptly raises, facade of calm control shattering under the force of it.]
What do you think is happening back home right now?! I'll be lucky if the only thing that's waiting is planning a funeral!
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Why would you be planning anything?
[ he stares at him, oddly calm about this ]
Whatever happened, it was inevitable, right? And more importantly, you’re here. It’s not your fault.
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[How can Kalim be so calm about this? How does he even explain in a way he could understand? He can't just..... ignore the fact that he'd abandoned his responsibilities. He'd abandoned Kalim. He'd wanted to run away, even just for a little while..... How selfish can you possibly be?
It seems even less appropriate, trying to explain the dread of going home, given the state of Kalim right now. Everyone in the estate is going to be involved in the funeral of the heir, obviously--it can't possibly be a small scale event, when the Al-Asims are involved. But..... what if he no longer has a place in that household at all?]
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[ he repeats, something he's had said to him his whole life... He doesn't understand what Jamil is getting at?? ]
There wasn't really anything either of us could do??
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[.....Had. Had him.
That's why it had been so important that he never leave his side, especially for something so frivolous. That's why he had worked and worried all these years--because he and the others weren't just servants, were they? They were shields. They protected Kalim and the rest of the family from fate, no matter how inevitable it seemed, until the battle simply proved more than a match for them.]
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[ he protests immediately. The last thing he ever thought of Jamil as was-- some sort of protection against everything that he'd ever had to do.
If anything, he hated that more than simply suffering through it. ]
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[Idiot. Why would it matter if he had thought of Jamil like that or not? Someone had to step up and take responsibility for his well-being in all those seemingly insignificant day to day details, someone Kalim could trust. Maybe his trust had been misplaced--if the fact that they're having this conversation to begin with is any indication, then it obviously was--, but even so..... Doesn't this just prove how vitally important it had been? When had he forgotten that?]
1/2
he hates that, but its the first time he's ever really had to think about it. Or-- that somehow the dream didn't change in his mind, to something different.
Something happier. ]
... I'm really glad you won't ever have to do that again.
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You're.... You're definitely free of all of that.
[ his voice is trembling, and his head tilts forward. ]
I didn't want you to do that for me! I hated it! I'd rather have just continued on like before! That... that was better than making you deal with my troubles.
[ he can't look him in the eyes, the guilt is overwhelming. ]
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[He is free of all of that now, isn't he? It's questionable if he'll be welcomed back at all--and even if he is, who knows what role he'll be reassigned to? A family chef, maybe? Still a personal attendant, but responsible for a sibling less important than the next chosen heir?
But either way, that's not the point, is it? That's never been what he's actually needed to be free from. Who cares about spending time in the kitchen or getting ill a few times? He can easily deal with a hazardous and demanding job, if it means every day doesn't feel like he's killing his own heart inch by inch.]
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[ he pauses, and shakes his head again.
he can't look at Jamil. ]
I'm sorry...
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[Even back then, Kalim had been far too ready to lie to himself and others, too ready to blindly dismiss potentially deadly thoughtlessness as inconsequential. Had he really thought he could play off what he was doing so that others wouldn't notice? That they hadn't consulted doctors about his deteriorating condition?
"Sorry" isn't good enough. Denial won't change the facts of life. Kalim can't just pretend that everything would have been fine, if he had kept going without intervention, or that everything is going to be fine now. This isn't some kind of game, or a daydream they can expect to magically end in Happily Ever After. Real life requires sacrifices--but Kalim hadn't needed to be one of them back then, and he shouldn't have been one today, either.]
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[ he trails off, and then shakes his head, ]
It wasn’t like that.
[ Kalim seems at a loss for words, staring at Jamil, the beauty of the world around him forgotten out of a desperate need to try and make things right for him, while also struggling with why it was like this at all. There was nothing that could be done— he wasn’t the first heir to die, though he desperately hopes he is the last. ]
But I want you to be happy right now. This is what you’ve always wanted, right?
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[Normally he'd never dare be caught in a state like this. Disgracefully openly distraught, face streaked with tears, shouting at Kalim as he knelt at his feet..... The consequences for something like this would be dire, if word got back to either of their families. Anyone could find them, when his yelling could surely easily be heard all the way back at the parking lot.....
But there isn't anyone to hear or find them, is there? There's nobody at all. Nobody but him, and the lingering spirit of the boy who used to be his whole world, for better and for worse.]
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[ there's a hint of panic in Kalim's voice-- well, more than a hint. he wasn't sure what to do with Jamil in this state, and he immediately drops to his knees to try and reassure him.
he doesn't know what that means, what any of what Jamil is saying means. But what he does know is that he doesn't want him to cry. It doesn't feel right to him, he couldn't imagine it. and yet, here it was.
he reaches out to his shoulders trying to figure out what he should do, his face in open worry as he can't even pull together a smile. ]
I'm sorry! I don't want you to be sad!
[ he admits, his form wavering with his own uncertainty. ]
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[There's nobody and nothing. He's alone, self-sufficient, accompanied only by the guilt and regret of his proven failure--and soon, even that will probably fade away, when Kalim decides to return to his family or pass beyond the veil. He's not bound and gagged right now, not stuffed into some tiny, dark, suffocating lamp to be summoned only on his master's whim. But just as there's nothing to keep him so limited and restrained, there's nothing to keep him anchored either, nothing to help hold him together instead of unravel in a spiral of grief and helpless rage.
Who would want this..... this nothingness? What has all of this even been for, if it's all going to be so hollow in the end?]
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And maybe he is a little sad, too. Or… a lot sad. He didn’t want to leave like this, he didn’t want to not be there to welcome him back from his journey. And so, he hesitates before answering, his grip on his shoulder disappearing, phasing through like it had moments before.
He doesn’t like that. ]
Jamil…
[ he wants to make it right, but he doesn’t know how. ]
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[It's deeply, viscerally wrong in ways he doesn't have words for; he wants to cling to Kalim's insubstantial form as much as he wants to recoil, scream at him as much as he wants to be violently ill. It makes his skin crawl with unease--he shouldn't have found out this way. His phone should have been ringing non-stop from the moment something happened. He shouldn't be dealing with this alone, let alone have time to feel this way--he should be in crisis control mode, frantically coordinating a return trip right now.
Kalim shouldn't be here either--even as a ghost, is it really so quick to get halfway around the world, unless he'd been murdered mere minutes or hours after he'd left him in the hands of the rest of the servants? What had the rest of the household been doing, to let him die so easily? Shouldn't he still be in shock as he confronts his new status, or at least cooperating with local authorities so his murder can be investigated? They have mages in law enforcement for a reason--it's much easier to find clues and suspects alike, if the victim's spirit themselves can provide a statement.
Why..... why is nobody here for them, except each other? Kalim has a whole estate full of people who love him. He himself should have been struggling with swarms of fellow tourists, people who have no idea who he is, let alone what his social status is. This trip was supposed to be liberating, not haunting. It's just..... impossible.
The more desperately he wants to deny it all, the more reasons he finds to do so. The world around them wavers and distorts like a mirage, steadily growing darker and colder, less substantial and real as he violently rejects the very premise it's built on. He absolutely refuses to stay in such a horrible place; it's time to go home. It's time to wake up.]
This is just a nightmare! That's all!
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But when the world seems to warp and shift around them, he notices. He looks around in confusion— when Jamil’s words hit like a snap. ]
A nightmare…
[ how did this happen in the first place? He doesn’t remember, he doesn’t even remember how he got that far. It was just obvious to him—
But that wasn’t true. There was no reason for it. He’s not actually been the target of something like that in ages—- this isn’t right ]
You’re right!
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But what happens to a dream, once its dreamer abandons it? What happens to Kalim, left in his wake?]
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Kalim stares at where Jamil was, confused at how he's suddenly alone. An uncomfortable shiver goes down his spine as he looks around at the now vacant area, nothing going on. nothing to see...
He isn't a ghost, but he isn't waking up... ah. Maybe... he should make a new dream. maybe that's the right answer. ]
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Seven, his head is still spinning. He needs a shower, and maybe a proper lie down, that should help. But first..... he should make sure that..... that idiot is safe inside with Lilia and Ruby. Just..... just in case. He's probably still just inordinately shaken up from the nightmare--but it's starting to feel a little too real, when Kalim doesn't answer his phone or respond to texting. And when he tries calling Lilia and Ruby instead.....
All that sick dread comes rushing back to him in an instant. What kind of fool rushes out into such a deadly storm?! Especially without any kind of second thought or backup plan? Maybe he's that kind of fool, too..... Once Kalim is out there and thoroughly lost, he probably won't stop searching, after all. Once again, it falls to him to clean up Kalim's messes and save him from himself. There's no way the trains or busses are running at a time like this, is there? Maybe not even the elevator. That means Kalim must still be in the Down..... and Jamil will have no way to get there himself, except walking along the roads and hoping it's not entirely blocked with snow, abandoned cars, and fallen debris.
Even not accounting for the time it will take to search, this trip might take hours. They could both die out there. And yet..... Jamil finds himself scribbling a hasty note to his Submissive, bundling up as warmly as he can manage and packing some food before reluctantly trudging out into the merciless blizzard. Here goes nothing!]
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And yet, in the real world, he’d collapsed long ago. The snow that had melted on his clothes had already refrozen, giving him a much colder.. stiffer look. Whatever warmth he is giving off is completely subsumed at this point. ]
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Even if Najima scolds, and his own Phantom sneers, and Kalim stares at him with such betrayal in his eyes..... every picture he takes of them reveals nothing but empty streets and untouched snow. They follow him even if he doesn't follow them, even if he knows they're not real--it's not until his eyes sting with frozen tears and his throat is raw from screaming at them do they finally deign to fade away, leaving him with nothing but the setting sun and foul taste of blot thick on his tongue to keep him company. Funny how prophetic his dream feels now, struggling through an unnaturally empty city while his heart feels like it's going to tear its way out of his chest.....
At least he feels lighter with each damning confession these shadows wearing false faces forcibly tear from his lips. Miserable, raw and vulnerable, hurting from the accusations he can't refute..... but free, finally openly acknowledging the darkness inside him he'd choked down for so many years. Even the slow uphill trudge back home doesn't feel quite so awful, in spite of carrying Kalim's limp weight the whole way; he'd have to be an even bigger idiot than he already is to go to Lilia's house, knowing how poor maintenance is on buildings in the Down. They need the warmth of a safe, sturdy apartment building after..... how many hours has he been out here? How much longer has Kalim been out here?
It hardly feels real by the time Jamil staggers back into the apartment and drops Kalim onto the couch. He locks the door, turns on the heat with hands so shaky and numb he can barely hit the buttons, wishes futilely that these apartments had fireplaces--but none of it changes the fact that he needs to wake Kalim back up. He's struggling to think clearly enough to remember what the treatment to hypothermia is--but it's definitely not sex, no matter how logical it seems at the moment. Will he wake up naturally, when the storm outside is so unnatural?
Maybe..... maybe it's an enchanted sleep of some sort. Historically speaking, true love's kiss is a traditional condition to lifting curses. It's the sort of absurd, impossible idea he'd never entertain, if he were thinking clearly--but if he's honest with himself, Jamil isn't confident he's physically capable of having sex right now, even if he was willing to try. Jamil bends over Kalim, still shaking and covered in snow, and presses their lips together before he can second guess himself.]
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but he can't help the feeling of loneliness that sinks in. that emptiness that something important is missing. how long has this parade in the desert been after all? it feels like there was something that happened before. and yet, his eyes are scanning the crowd for someone.
He manages to work his way throughout the party, stopping when grabbed to entertain others, or to dance, but still he searches-- it's only when he hears the clinking of charms, that he pulls his attention away-- turns immediately to look.
He's looking for someone. "Jamil...?"
He looks around again, and yet, when he turns, he nearly finds himself running into Jamil all of a sudden, and he feels intense relief. He opens his mouth to speak, when Jamil leans down to kiss him... ]
Mmmh...?
[ he mumbles half asleep, brows furrowing, and then his eyes open. has he been dreaming this whole time? ]
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[Jamil jolts in place, eyes widening in shock. What? What had just happened? How? Why?! He hadn't actually expected the attempt to work, not when he--when they--
Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe he had been thinking too deeply about this, making too many assumptions about the nature of the storm and Kalim's conditions. It's possible this is just..... Duplicity being Duplicity, again. Maybe any intimate contact would have been fine, as long as it wasn't platonic. Maybe a kiss would have worked just as well as a blowjob. That's far more reasonable than the alternative, right? Or..... maybe it's just because Kalim is Kalim. Insufferably optimistic and trusting as he is, he'd probably fall in love with anyone he spent enough time with.
Either way, it's..... it's fine. There's nothing he needs to think too hard about. He can just..... hastily straighten back up, and press a few gloved fingers against Kalim's neck to check his pulse. His own has felt concerningly sluggish for hours, but that's not important anymore now that they're inside. How deeply chilled has Kalim ended up? How many blankets can he scrounge together? What was the treatment supposed to be for frostbite, again? Even the coldest nights in the Scalding Sands hadn't prepared him to need that kind of information readily memorized.....]
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and then sneezes.
and sniffles. ]
Jamil...?
[ what happened... he heard... him? He heard him asking for help and went outside, but everything else after that-- he doesn't quite remember? he went away from the house, trying to follow him, and yet... he feels like maybe he passed out?
but... Jamil was just kissing him, right?? was that a dream too...?
No, wait! That means Jamil's okay! and he immediately launches himself to cling to him, ]
You're okay!!
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[Jamil stumbles backwards as Kalim throws himself at him, nearly tripping over the coffee table--even so, he manages to awkwardly catch him regardless. How is he supposed to take care of anything holding onto Kalim like this? It'd be just his luck if Kalim caught pneumonia or something, laying out in the snow for so long.
What if he gets sick too, after..... well, after kissing him? He'll probably just need to power through. Neither of them are going back out into that godforsaken storm if he has anything to say about it.]
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[ he's... so cold, now that he thinks about it. what even happened...? and then there was that weird dream. He shakes himself of that thought, and looks up at Jamil with a relieved smile, even through the shivers.
Though, Jamil doesn't look well either... He can't place it... ]
A-Are you okay?
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[Unless he was forced to be. Unless he had to go find and dig Kalim out of the snow to bring him home, before his dream came true.]
I'm fine. Just..... stay there, I'll go get some blankets and make tea.
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[ his words are eaten with another sneeze, but his hand doesn't let Jamil's shirt go. Ah... he really is cold, but if he's cold... Isn't Jamil cold too? And he can't shake the feeling that something seems wrong. ]
Let me help!
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and maybe it is the cold, that's caused such a sluggish response, but then his eyes go towards Jamil's pen, tucked in a pocket. And to how dark the magestone is... it's probably lucky that he was already pale from the cold: it masks how his blood runs cold, and he forces himself up, ]
Jamil, your blot...!!
[ he's not the most steady right then, but he'll work past the cold. Jamil is the one suffering more. ]
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[Of course Kalim is ignoring him. Of course they're going to do this now. Seven, he's exhausted; trying to settle Kalim's nerves and get him back down is the absolute last thing he needs right now.]
It's fine. It'll go away on its own; I just needed to use a lot of magic out in the blizzard, that's all.
[That's definitely the only thing contributing to this, honest. Kalim was lost or unconscious for anything else that could have theoretically happened, but definitely did not, which means he doesn't need to know. Dreams and hallucinations aren't even real, anyway, which means they don't count. Right?]
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[ he's practically begging him, when he reaches out again, gripping his hand as tightly as he can. ]
Just rest. Whatever y-you want to do, it can wait! Please!
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[It's a shockingly strong grip, for how badly incapacitated Kalim was mere minutes ago. Could he even pry himself free if he tried, at this point? How shameful is it that he's not actually confident the answer would be yes?]
It's not going to be a comfortable rest for either of us if we can't warm up. Even if I do nothing else, we need some blankets.
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Just tell me where to get them, I'll be back a-as fast as I can!
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[A little blot won't kill him. He's (probably. He thinks.
He hopes.) not in as precarious a mental state as he was over winter break, no matter how wretched he feels right now, or how bitter the taste of blot is in the back of his throat. He's just..... just.....]Fine. The linen closet is in the bathroom. You'll find blankets, sheets, and towels in there. If you think you need to, you can strip my bed, too.
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S-sit down, sit down! I... I'll take care of it!
[ his body feels numb, frozen, but frankly, he doesn't care. only once he's sure Jamil could sit down if he wanted, does he stumble off in the direction that he's been given, to collect as many blankets as possible.
and attempts to carry them all back-- which he's lucky he didn't trip honestly. But he was far more determined to get back to Jamil, to help him take it easy. ]
Here...!
[ he practically drops the blankets onto one end of the couch, and immediately pulls the thickest out with some effort. His teeth are still chattering, but he doesn't mind. It's a blanket for Jamil-- and him. But first, he turns to sit next to Jamil, and to awkwardly pull the blanket over the both of them. ]
D-do you need anything else?? Just ask, I c-can do it for you.