goldencharms | FOR INFY!!!

... Oh, you're right! Maybe something is wrong.

[ oops.

he does understand the difference. ]

[Sigh.]

As I said, you should really sit down. Do you feel anything different than normal, aside from saying things when you don't want to?

[The latter, then. It has to be the latter. How is it that Kalim is actually holding things back, when he always seems to run his mouth without the slightest hesitation to consider what he's saying? What else has he been biting his tongue about? When he'd said he hates that Jamil has a Submissive other than him, he'd meant.....

Ridiculous. Lilia and Cater are Kalim's best friends, the ones who actually like him. Even if Kalim abandoned Lilia for his sake, that wouldn't actually make him happy. Surely Kalim would just be miserable for it, shattering Lilia's trust by breaking their contract, living under the control of a traitor who had nearly killed him. Wouldn't he?]

[ he shakes his head, guilt starting to flood his mind. He'd been so quick to dismiss it, but Jamil really had just been looking out for him this whole time. It made his jealousy over--

well... Over Jamil not even trying to ask him...

It made it seem that much smaller of him. His smile is a bit subdued, but it's still there. ]

No, I think that's it. Ahh, sorry. I hadn't considered it until you said something.

[ he can't quite make himself laugh it off-- at least not yet. ]

It's fine. It's difficult to realize your own mind has been altered, isn't it?

[Jamil puts a hand on Kalim's shoulder to gently steer him towards the couch; if it's really so insidious, then he should probably keep an eye on him for now, hmmm?]

Would you mind looking through the network for anything about rabbit bites?

Those Teeny Sanguini things, you mean? Sure, I'm on it.

[There, now he'll be cleared out of the way for a while and doing something useful. If Kalim really is feeling like this, it's probably better the two of them don't have to spend time together for the moment, right? They can just..... figure out what happened, and what he needs.]

[ huh? did he really have to leave? That was odd. It sticks out to him, even as he sits down like Jamil's guiding him to. it still felt unnecessary, when the worst thing that had happened so far was him saying something he didn't actually want to say.

But...

Maybe Jamil was right. And he really should stop questioning it. After all, that just made him feel worse. And who knows when one of them might leave again-- a feeling that causes a tightness in his chest. He really should just trust him.

After all, it's not like he knows any better either. ]

I could ask around too!

[ he offers instead, two immediate names coming to mind. and he's digging out his phone, focusing on that for now. ]

[Maybe he is being a little too jumpy about this. After all, it's not guaranteed that this is a disaster, is it? There are worse things than being forced to speak your mind--even if having the thoughts dragged out of you is bad enough all by itself. Maybe he's just anxious because speaking your mind is potentially so dangerous for him, while someone of Kalim's status would find it a mere inconvenience. But given the unnatural role reversal they've been subjected to, doesn't that mean it really is dangerous for Kalim in this city?

Hah..... as if Kalim has ever had a treasonous or subversive thought in his life. Even the worst guards here probably couldn't find anything to be angry about if Kalim spoke candidly with them, without making accusations up entirely. Meanwhile, even as a Dominant here..... he'd probably end up far worse off than just arrested.

Still..... this could just be the first step, too. Some poison takes a while to kick in. Some illnesses can incubate for days before the true misery they inflict makes itself known. Who knows what simply blurting things out could progress into? Jamil settles down next to Kalim, close enough to be able to watch him carefully--and definitely not because it's close enough that Kalim could lean against him, if he needs to.]

You probably do know who's been around for the longest..... Surely at least one of them has prior experience with these things.

Floyd is close... And he's been around for ages.

[ just don't ask why he knows where floyd lives, he may just tell him. ]

Hah..... Somehow, I wonder if Floyd would even notice.

[He's spent enough time with Floyd at Basketball Club to know just how..... flighty the man is. Impulsively speaking his mind seems to be Floyd's default state, not something he'd need to be sick or poisoned to induce.

That said, he is very pointedly assuming that Kalim has paid social visits to all of his friends, and enjoying their hospitality just as much as he enjoys showing his own. If his assumptions are wrong, he doesn't need to know. Given the "caliber" of classmates they attended Night Raven College with, why would he have any desire to know about their sexual exploits? Strangers are much safer and easier.]

Hmm, but Jade would probably know too. After all, he's been here a long time too.

[ implicitly agreeing, Floyd might not know or care. Though, if it were dangerous, he was pretty sure Floyd would notice.

Maybe...

Kalim pulls a leg up, letting his foot rest against his thigh, while his hands rest on his ankle. ]

And there's where I work too-- Rayne sells all sorts of antidotes, he's made sure to tell me which ones are which!

Both the Leech brothers, hmmm..... Seven help us if Azul were here, too.

[Ugh. Ugh. Azul is a far slimier leech than either of the twins could ever hope to be. Knowing him, Azul would not only have antidotes prepared for these creatures, but also sell them at a steep markup. It's possible Jade would know, with his interest in flora and fauna..... But he has to admit, someone who runs a potion shop sounds more knowledgeable and promising than either of them.]

You're welcome to call any of them, if you think they might have some answers.

I don’t know if they do or not, but it wouldn’t hurt, at least.

[ he answers easily enough, and all it would take is a well crafted text. Which means it probably won’t be well crafted, just earnest and honest instead. Something to distract him from the occasional pangs of jealousy he feels and has to bite down.

He can’t force Jamil into that sort of situation. He knows he can’t, and with Jamil taking their positions at home so seriously still…

Keep quiet. It’s easier that way. ]

There’s Rayne, and now Floyd.

[Jamil glances at the screen over Kalim's shoulder as the boy types, humming thoughtfully. Understating the situation a bit, isn't he? Of course Kalim isn't as worried about his own condition as he should be. He never thinks about the consequences or mundane practicalities of what he says and does: how dangerous things can get, how much extra work he gives ~~Jamil~~ people, how much money he might be spending, how it might affect his reputation.....

.....Or does he? What a strange thing to question, when it's been a universal constant for what seems like their whole lives. But hearing this outburst now..... Just because he hates having his privacy violated doesn't mean he has any qualms about prying into others' affairs. He can use this, if it turns out the consequences of being bitten are as minor as Kalim seems to believe.

After all, Kalim has been here for some time, now--things are bound to have changed. Knowing exactly where Kalim stands can only be beneficial in the long run, even if he has a sneaking suspicion that he's going to hate dealing with it in the moment.]

While we wait for their answers..... there isn't anything else you need to get off your chest, is there?

[Start broad. Start simple. Yes or no questions are a good foundation to begin fishing for specific details, once he gets a better idea of what he's working with, is able to define what the rules of this malady are. If this is a game of pulling things to the surface of Kalim's thoughts and just waiting for them to spill out of their own accord, then patience is the word of the day.]

Huh?

[ he hits send, and then looks bak at Jamil with a simple smile ]

What did you say? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

Hmph..... I should have known better than to distract you while you were busy. My mistake.

[Typical. That's on him for expecting Kalim to be able to split his attention, isn't it? Maybe Kalim will at least feel better, seeing the rueful look on Jamil's face softening his obvious worry.]

I asked if there was anything else you've been meaning to tell me.

Meaning to tell you?

[ he frowns, ]

No, there's just stuff I don't want to tell you.

[ -- his eyes immediately widen and he goes to clamp a hand over his mouth.

that... that was not what he meant to say at all ]

I didn't mean to say that...

[ he says, muffled through his fingers. ]

Of course you didn't.

[Jamil doesn't need to say "I told you so." over this, does he? Surely Kalim is realizing the severity of the predicament he's in. Maybe not regretting his actions the way he should, but..... he'll take a clear awareness that what's happening to him is cause for alarm, over blithely insisting that everything is fine.]

Such as.....?

[And now, like turning on a faucet, the words should come gushing out, shouldn't they? He doesn't like the thought that there may be things he doesn't know, things he's overlooking, let alone things being deliberately hidden from him..... It's unnatural, after Kalim has spent his whole life considering him his confidant. It's.....

No. He just hates being caught unprepared and in the dark, that's all. Nothing more. It's not as though he's falling back on hypnotizing Kalim again, so it's fine, right? He's just..... giving Kalim an opportunity to speak his mind, not forcing him to do anything. Nothing wrong with that.]

[ he doesn't move his hands. he wants to tell him everything on his mind, but this would just make Jamil upset. He doesn't want that, more than anything else. Not every thought he has is a big deal, but some experience has taught him that... well, they could be big deals to someone else.

And Jamil was always worrying.

His eyebrows crease together as he looks at Jamil, very seriously, refocusing his thoughts, ]

I don't want you to worry or be upset, it's not that big of a deal that--

[ his hands clamp over his mouth again, muffling what he says next ]

I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.

[That much is obvious, with how hard Kalim is trying to resist the impulse to talk. But this is an important experiment, isn't it? If Kalim knows he hasn't been heard, does he feel compelled to speak up more clearly until he's been understood? Or is that impulse satisfied by simply saying it once, even if nobody heard him? Sorry, Kalim--you don't seem to be in immediate danger yet, so while your friends are getting back to you, he can afford to be a little calculating.]

[ did he really not hear?

Kalim finds it hard to believe-- and he knows now that Jamil will lie and say what he wants to get something but also, what if he isn't lying?

still, there are a lot of thoughts percolating in his head and he shakes his head.

He doesn't really want to talk about the stuff that's happened, or how easy it is to not feel like yourself, or how he's struggling to manage the thought of Jamil having to make quota without that jealousy. all of these things are too much, and obviously confusing. ]

Mm-mm!!

Well, well..... Can you really just will yourself not to say anything, if you're trying hard enough? Maybe those things are some sort of direbeasts with a cursed bite, instead of normal animals.

[It makes no sense, if he's honest. A human is dozens, maybe hundreds of times more than one of those rabbits could possibly eat, and they don't seem to hunt in packs. And forcing someone to tell the truth doesn't seem to be conducive to keeping someone still enough to drink their blood, if that's what they feed on.

Is there some hidden danger here they're not seeing yet? Some long-delayed symptoms, if it's actually venom and not a curse? Is the point to freeze their victim in emotional distress, or for one scout to lock multiple people in turmoil so the whole colony can descend on all of them and drain them dry? That's not something any of them need to worry about, as long as they stay inside. The more he's watching Kalim, though, the longer they're going without any other symptoms becoming apparent.....]

It's so hard, all of this stuff keeps coming to mind but I don't know where to start! And it's all definitely too much!

[ he says, again without thinking ]

I don't want you to worry, or get hurt and everything really is tricky here-- this isn't even one of the worst ones!

[ it seems, he has lost the fight with keeping his hands over his mouth, with the need to gesture widely ]

You mean there are worse ways to be subjected to outside influences, I take it? Maybe you'd better start at the beginning.

[What is the beginning? He doesn't know. Kalim probably doesn't know either, but this..... whatever it is might be able to latch onto the suggestion somehow. Is Kalim really in any position to worry about him, when he's the one who might need a doctor? He's.....

He'll be fine. Being fine is what Jamil does best, after all. What's one or two more things to worry about?]

Yeah...

[ he shakes his head. ]

It's not even as simple as drinking something, like what happened on the first day I got here.

[Jamil's eyes narrow in abrupt suspicion. So, they're taking this chronologically, hmmm? No wonder Kalim hadn't wanted to say anything.]

You got poisoned immediately?

[ oh ]

Don't worry, don't worry! It wasn't that bad! It was just the stuff they sometimes put in everything to make you want to have sex!

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