goldencharms | FOR INFY!!!

Meaning to tell you?

[ he frowns, ]

No, there's just stuff I don't want to tell you.

[ -- his eyes immediately widen and he goes to clamp a hand over his mouth.

that... that was not what he meant to say at all ]

I didn't mean to say that...

[ he says, muffled through his fingers. ]

Of course you didn't.

[Jamil doesn't need to say "I told you so." over this, does he? Surely Kalim is realizing the severity of the predicament he's in. Maybe not regretting his actions the way he should, but..... he'll take a clear awareness that what's happening to him is cause for alarm, over blithely insisting that everything is fine.]

Such as.....?

[And now, like turning on a faucet, the words should come gushing out, shouldn't they? He doesn't like the thought that there may be things he doesn't know, things he's overlooking, let alone things being deliberately hidden from him..... It's unnatural, after Kalim has spent his whole life considering him his confidant. It's.....

No. He just hates being caught unprepared and in the dark, that's all. Nothing more. It's not as though he's falling back on hypnotizing Kalim again, so it's fine, right? He's just..... giving Kalim an opportunity to speak his mind, not forcing him to do anything. Nothing wrong with that.]

[ he doesn't move his hands. he wants to tell him everything on his mind, but this would just make Jamil upset. He doesn't want that, more than anything else. Not every thought he has is a big deal, but some experience has taught him that... well, they could be big deals to someone else.

And Jamil was always worrying.

His eyebrows crease together as he looks at Jamil, very seriously, refocusing his thoughts, ]

I don't want you to worry or be upset, it's not that big of a deal that--

[ his hands clamp over his mouth again, muffling what he says next ]

I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that.

[That much is obvious, with how hard Kalim is trying to resist the impulse to talk. But this is an important experiment, isn't it? If Kalim knows he hasn't been heard, does he feel compelled to speak up more clearly until he's been understood? Or is that impulse satisfied by simply saying it once, even if nobody heard him? Sorry, Kalim--you don't seem to be in immediate danger yet, so while your friends are getting back to you, he can afford to be a little calculating.]

[ did he really not hear?

Kalim finds it hard to believe-- and he knows now that Jamil will lie and say what he wants to get something but also, what if he isn't lying?

still, there are a lot of thoughts percolating in his head and he shakes his head.

He doesn't really want to talk about the stuff that's happened, or how easy it is to not feel like yourself, or how he's struggling to manage the thought of Jamil having to make quota without that jealousy. all of these things are too much, and obviously confusing. ]

Mm-mm!!

Well, well..... Can you really just will yourself not to say anything, if you're trying hard enough? Maybe those things are some sort of direbeasts with a cursed bite, instead of normal animals.

[It makes no sense, if he's honest. A human is dozens, maybe hundreds of times more than one of those rabbits could possibly eat, and they don't seem to hunt in packs. And forcing someone to tell the truth doesn't seem to be conducive to keeping someone still enough to drink their blood, if that's what they feed on.

Is there some hidden danger here they're not seeing yet? Some long-delayed symptoms, if it's actually venom and not a curse? Is the point to freeze their victim in emotional distress, or for one scout to lock multiple people in turmoil so the whole colony can descend on all of them and drain them dry? That's not something any of them need to worry about, as long as they stay inside. The more he's watching Kalim, though, the longer they're going without any other symptoms becoming apparent.....]

It's so hard, all of this stuff keeps coming to mind but I don't know where to start! And it's all definitely too much!

[ he says, again without thinking ]

I don't want you to worry, or get hurt and everything really is tricky here-- this isn't even one of the worst ones!

[ it seems, he has lost the fight with keeping his hands over his mouth, with the need to gesture widely ]

You mean there are worse ways to be subjected to outside influences, I take it? Maybe you'd better start at the beginning.

[What is the beginning? He doesn't know. Kalim probably doesn't know either, but this..... whatever it is might be able to latch onto the suggestion somehow. Is Kalim really in any position to worry about him, when he's the one who might need a doctor? He's.....

He'll be fine. Being fine is what Jamil does best, after all. What's one or two more things to worry about?]

Yeah...

[ he shakes his head. ]

It's not even as simple as drinking something, like what happened on the first day I got here.

[Jamil's eyes narrow in abrupt suspicion. So, they're taking this chronologically, hmmm? No wonder Kalim hadn't wanted to say anything.]

You got poisoned immediately?

[ oh ]

Don't worry, don't worry! It wasn't that bad! It was just the stuff they sometimes put in everything to make you want to have sex!

Who wouldn't worry about something like that?! Aphrodisiacs aren't meant to be so literal!

[No. No, no, no, nope, absolutely not. He is not going to be the one to have the "you cannot give consent if you're drunk" conversation with Kalim. That's Lilia's responsibility. Whoever..... deflowered Kalim..... Jamil refuses to damage their relationship by pointing out they forced themselves onto him. Odds are both parties were drugged, after all--they probably couldn't help it any more than Kalim could. Not that it makes things any better, by any means.....

If anything, it only makes Jamil's pure disgust for this whole situation and their captors burn that much deeper. What kind of sick bastards would do this to people?!]

I see now why they try to force refreshments onto people.

But they don't need to... My head's gotten messed up a lot. Even now...

[ he trails off, thinking. Actually, more like observing Jamil. His worry over how upset Jamil is taking precedence over the venom, at least for now.

he knows that he's stressed... and Kalim doesn't want to be part of making it worse. ]

How so?

[Kalim doesn't eat or drink outside his own home anymore, and he still ends up drugged somehow? To say that's troubling would be an understatement. How else are they even supposed to protect themselves, at this point? How could he not be stressed out, knowing they're apparently constantly at risk with no way to hold onto their senses and sound judgment?!]

Mmngh... Magic? Weather...?

.....Excuse me?

[What the fuck. What the fuck. What kind of godsforsaken hellscape is this? Is magic mind-altering weather seriously naturally-occurring? How? Why?!]

That's why I didn't want to tell you! I don't want you to worry! Especially since someone like you would be really careful, and maybe it wouldn't affect you at all...

Who wouldn't worry about magic weather?! Somehow, I don't think remembering to carry an umbrella would be enough to make any difference.....

[Kalim has way, way too much faith in him, if he thinks just being careful is enough to somehow negate entire weather patterns. Maybe they weren't kidnapped at all. Maybe they've all just died, and this is Hell.]

There were masks! Just... sometimes they broke...

[ jamil absolutely would not have made that mistake. ever. ]

.....

[They had to wear masks just to go outside, masks which were prone to breaking for some reason. Probably by design, if the rest of this cesspool of a city is anything to go by. That means it has to be something airborne, and houses and apartments most certainly aren't airtight. The evidence for this being Hell is mounting more and more by the second.

Give him a minute to just..... stop thousand yard staring into the distance, and pull out his device to add masks to a shopping list. Better to have something like that before it becomes necessary. Let him guess, are there no sorts of weather forecasts that could predict what should be rightly considered some kind of natural disaster? Of course there wouldn't be. Could you even tell it was happening, before you unwittingly stepped outside and lost your mind?]

Jamil...?

[ he just watches him go quiet, and is... confused-- but also... he isn't confused, he knew this would upset him. ]

Ahaha... Sorry.

It's not your fault. There's no planning around what I don't know about; I'm..... glad you told me. Thank you.

[Jamil just shakes his head dismissively, scrubbing at his face in wordless weariness. Better to find out about this from Kalim now, than walk face-first into it and be confused and taken by surprise..... As if there wasn't enough already to try and think of contingencies for. These rabbit creatures are already a nasty enough unknown to deal with.]

Oh...

Well, you can plan later, right?

[ he just wants to spend time with him now, not see him spiral needlessly ]

I suppose..... But even so, that still doesn't mean we can just sit on our laurels.

[Not when there's still the issue that sparked this whole conversation to begin with. Excuse him if he glances at Kalim's device; does Rayne or Floyd have anything to say about these tiny menaces?]

[ rayne has nothing. floyd probably has not responded. ]

We could do something else in the meantime, then!

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