goldencharms | FOR INFY!!!

[ a new dream takes shape, pulling him back into the lull, something that was only his. A party, one that he can’t quite remember the cause for, but…

And yet, in the real world, he’d collapsed long ago. The snow that had melted on his clothes had already refrozen, giving him a much colder.. stiffer look. Whatever warmth he is giving off is completely subsumed at this point. ]

[It's a long, agonizing slog down eerily empty highways, navigating by his device in one hand, and fire magic blazing high in the other. It's a hell of a lot of magic to waste, keeping it burning so hot for so long--but it's the only thing that keeps him going, if Jamil is honest. He can barely even feel the cold anymore, he's so numb, and it's not helped by how often he stumbles and falls face-first into snow drifts deep enough to nearly swallow him whole. It's hard just to force himself to stand back up and keep walking, when exhaustion weighs him down so heavily--but he can't just stop. If he stops, they're both done for.

Even if Najima scolds, and his own Phantom sneers, and Kalim stares at him with such betrayal in his eyes..... every picture he takes of them reveals nothing but empty streets and untouched snow. They follow him even if he doesn't follow them, even if he knows they're not real--it's not until his eyes sting with frozen tears and his throat is raw from screaming at them do they finally deign to fade away, leaving him with nothing but the setting sun and foul taste of blot thick on his tongue to keep him company. Funny how prophetic his dream feels now, struggling through an unnaturally empty city while his heart feels like it's going to tear its way out of his chest.....

At least he feels lighter with each damning confession these shadows wearing false faces forcibly tear from his lips. Miserable, raw and vulnerable, hurting from the accusations he can't refute..... but free, finally openly acknowledging the darkness inside him he'd choked down for so many years. Even the slow uphill trudge back home doesn't feel quite so awful, in spite of carrying Kalim's limp weight the whole way; he'd have to be an even bigger idiot than he already is to go to Lilia's house, knowing how poor maintenance is on buildings in the Down. They need the warmth of a safe, sturdy apartment building after..... how many hours has he been out here? How much longer has Kalim been out here?

It hardly feels real by the time Jamil staggers back into the apartment and drops Kalim onto the couch. He locks the door, turns on the heat with hands so shaky and numb he can barely hit the buttons, wishes futilely that these apartments had fireplaces--but none of it changes the fact that he needs to wake Kalim back up. He's struggling to think clearly enough to remember what the treatment to hypothermia is--but it's definitely not sex, no matter how logical it seems at the moment. Will he wake up naturally, when the storm outside is so unnatural?

Maybe..... maybe it's an enchanted sleep of some sort. Historically speaking, true love's kiss is a traditional condition to lifting curses. It's the sort of absurd, impossible idea he'd never entertain, if he were thinking clearly--but if he's honest with himself, Jamil isn't confident he's physically capable of having sex right now, even if he was willing to try. Jamil bends over Kalim, still shaking and covered in snow, and presses their lips together before he can second guess himself.]

[ in this new dream, there's a parade. a party. a feast. Kalim's almost forgotten the previous dream, except for some lingering sadness. the feeling that he's missing something, but any time it's on the tip of his tongue, someone else is there to distract him.

but he can't help the feeling of loneliness that sinks in. that emptiness that something important is missing. how long has this parade in the desert been after all? it feels like there was something that happened before. and yet, his eyes are scanning the crowd for someone.

He manages to work his way throughout the party, stopping when grabbed to entertain others, or to dance, but still he searches-- it's only when he hears the clinking of charms, that he pulls his attention away-- turns immediately to look.

He's looking for someone. "Jamil...?"

He looks around again, and yet, when he turns, he nearly finds himself running into Jamil all of a sudden, and he feels intense relief. He opens his mouth to speak, when Jamil leans down to kiss him... ]

Mmmh...?

[ he mumbles half asleep, brows furrowing, and then his eyes open. has he been dreaming this whole time? ]

--?!

[Jamil jolts in place, eyes widening in shock. What? What had just happened? How? Why?! He hadn't actually expected the attempt to work, not when he--when they--

Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe he had been thinking too deeply about this, making too many assumptions about the nature of the storm and Kalim's conditions. It's possible this is just..... Duplicity being Duplicity, again. Maybe any intimate contact would have been fine, as long as it wasn't platonic. Maybe a kiss would have worked just as well as a blowjob. That's far more reasonable than the alternative, right? Or..... maybe it's just because Kalim is Kalim. Insufferably optimistic and trusting as he is, he'd probably fall in love with anyone he spent enough time with.

Either way, it's..... it's fine. There's nothing he needs to think too hard about. He can just..... hastily straighten back up, and press a few gloved fingers against Kalim's neck to check his pulse. His own has felt concerningly sluggish for hours, but that's not important anymore now that they're inside. How deeply chilled has Kalim ended up? How many blankets can he scrounge together? What was the treatment supposed to be for frostbite, again? Even the coldest nights in the Scalding Sands hadn't prepared him to need that kind of information readily memorized.....]

[ jamil's hands are warm-- almost too warm. and Kalim immediately tries to push himself up, but he feels... almost like an icicle, everything is so cold. And so, of course, immediately he starts shivering pathetically--

and then sneezes.

and sniffles. ]

Jamil...?

[ what happened... he heard... him? He heard him asking for help and went outside, but everything else after that-- he doesn't quite remember? he went away from the house, trying to follow him, and yet... he feels like maybe he passed out?

but... Jamil was just kissing him, right?? was that a dream too...?

No, wait! That means Jamil's okay! and he immediately launches himself to cling to him, ]

You're okay!!

I--wh-what do you think you're doing? Lay back down! Are you trying to get even sicker?!

[Jamil stumbles backwards as Kalim throws himself at him, nearly tripping over the coffee table--even so, he manages to awkwardly catch him regardless. How is he supposed to take care of anything holding onto Kalim like this? It'd be just his luck if Kalim caught pneumonia or something, laying out in the snow for so long.

What if he gets sick too, after..... well, after kissing him? He'll probably just need to power through. Neither of them are going back out into that godforsaken storm if he has anything to say about it.]

I was worried! I heard you calling out in the storm...

[ he's... so cold, now that he thinks about it. what even happened...? and then there was that weird dream. He shakes himself of that thought, and looks up at Jamil with a relieved smile, even through the shivers.

Though, Jamil doesn't look well either... He can't place it... ]

A-Are you okay?

Idiot..... why would I have been in the Down during weather like that? You should have called to make sure!

[Unless he was forced to be. Unless he had to go find and dig Kalim out of the snow to bring him home, before his dream came true.]

I'm fine. Just..... stay there, I'll go get some blankets and make tea.

But...

[ his words are eaten with another sneeze, but his hand doesn't let Jamil's shirt go. Ah... he really is cold, but if he's cold... Isn't Jamil cold too? And he can't shake the feeling that something seems wrong. ]

Let me help!

You can help by resting so you don't catch your death of pneumonia. Who knows how long you were collapsed out there?

[ he wants to argue, there's that instinct to show that they aren't master and servant, that they can operate as equals, but Kalim looks up at Jamil, slowly trying to figure out what he should do.

and maybe it is the cold, that's caused such a sluggish response, but then his eyes go towards Jamil's pen, tucked in a pocket. And to how dark the magestone is... it's probably lucky that he was already pale from the cold: it masks how his blood runs cold, and he forces himself up, ]

Jamil, your blot...!!

[ he's not the most steady right then, but he'll work past the cold. Jamil is the one suffering more. ]

What did I just say?!

[Of course Kalim is ignoring him. Of course they're going to do this now. Seven, he's exhausted; trying to settle Kalim's nerves and get him back down is the absolute last thing he needs right now.]

It's fine. It'll go away on its own; I just needed to use a lot of magic out in the blizzard, that's all.

[That's definitely the only thing contributing to this, honest. Kalim was lost or unconscious for anything else that could have theoretically happened, but definitely did not, which means he doesn't need to know. Dreams and hallucinations aren't even real, anyway, which means they don't count. Right?]

It's t-too much...

[ he's practically begging him, when he reaches out again, gripping his hand as tightly as he can. ]

Just rest. Whatever y-you want to do, it can wait! Please!

Kalim.....

[It's a shockingly strong grip, for how badly incapacitated Kalim was mere minutes ago. Could he even pry himself free if he tried, at this point? How shameful is it that he's not actually confident the answer would be yes?]

It's not going to be a comfortable rest for either of us if we can't warm up. Even if I do nothing else, we need some blankets.

Then rest!

Just tell me where to get them, I'll be back a-as fast as I can!

Honestly.....

[A little blot won't kill him. He's (probably. He thinks. He hopes.) not in as precarious a mental state as he was over winter break, no matter how wretched he feels right now, or how bitter the taste of blot is in the back of his throat. He's just..... just.....]

Fine. The linen closet is in the bathroom. You'll find blankets, sheets, and towels in there. If you think you need to, you can strip my bed, too.

[ Kalim nods immediately, and it's only with a direction to go in that his grip on Jamil's hand eases, that he even considers being willing to calm down. He still pulls him back towards the couch. ]

S-sit down, sit down! I... I'll take care of it!

[ his body feels numb, frozen, but frankly, he doesn't care. only once he's sure Jamil could sit down if he wanted, does he stumble off in the direction that he's been given, to collect as many blankets as possible.

and attempts to carry them all back-- which he's lucky he didn't trip honestly. But he was far more determined to get back to Jamil, to help him take it easy. ]

Here...!

[ he practically drops the blankets onto one end of the couch, and immediately pulls the thickest out with some effort. His teeth are still chattering, but he doesn't mind. It's a blanket for Jamil-- and him. But first, he turns to sit next to Jamil, and to awkwardly pull the blanket over the both of them. ]

D-do you need anything else?? Just ask, I c-can do it for you.

FOR INFY!!!

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