goldencharms | MWM

I don't think that, though!

[ he says quickly, ]

Everyone here... they've all been really patient and kind to me. Especially you...

I just... want the best for you. I don't want to hurt you like I hurt everyone else important to me. And I've said bad things I never should've said because you said that you feel like a failure when you can't protect me and—

[helplessly:]

I love you. I shouldn't make you feel any of that.

Ruby...

[ he feels guilty. if she doesn't feel like she can express herself... given everything... a sniff ]

I'm not good at explaining m-myself... even when it's something really easy... I didn't want you to think any of that. I promise.

... I just don't want you to start hiding everything again... or... maybe not hiding, but not talking about it...

What you feel matters.

Huh...?

[ wait, no, that's not what she needs right now, even if he doesn't understand.

not talking about it...? but he can't think of what else to say ]

What you feel matters.

I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like it doesn't. So... I don't... I don't know what to do, Kalim. I don't want to be the reason you keep... taking on more blot or something. Or if I say something and it turns out to be bad, like the luck thing. I didn't realize what I was doing, and that was stupid and—

[she sniffs, holding back a sob.]

You aren't the reason...

[ he doesn't know what to say, though. everything he said had hurt her, and that wasn't what he wanted. he still doesn't want that...

he takes a deep breath ]

You wouldn't!! We're just... in a really bad situation. You make me feel a lot better, Ruby. I promise.

[weakly:]

... I do?

Mmhm.

[ he squeezes her a little tighter, reassuring. ]

Going through this alone... it'd be a nightmare. But I'm not. And not only that... You're really concerned for me too. That makes me really happy.

[... after a moment, she shifts. turning so that she can face him and bury her face on his shoulder.]

I don't know if I could do anything here without you. I just... please... tell me things? Don't... just say it's fine when it's not.

But...

[ he hesitates... ]

I'm not really lying... I don't want you to second guess... everything...

I don't think you're lying... but I want... um. I want you to talk about things more than you do. Or if something... bothers you... to say something. Like the luck thing.

... Okay.

I'll do that for you!

[ another brief nuzzle. ]

I promise.

[... one final shift, to where she's just sitting in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging.]

... Thank you.

Ehe.

[ that anxious grip on his heart loosens, enough that he can simply let it fall to the wayside... as much as humanly possible. ]

Don't worry about it. I love you too, you know.

I know.

... That's why... I'm so scared of being a problem. My mother always told me to stop being a problem when I was sick. She—she probably thought me just being sick was a problem. Maybe that's why she didn't... show up when I died... because it was asking too much to want her there.

Oh...

[ he sees to be thinking about that... ]

Hey, Ruby...?

... Kalim?

I'm really sorry about everything you went through in your past life... I can't imagine how hard that might be...

But I'm glad you told me, too.

No one should make you feel like you're the problem-- you should be allowed to be cute and carefree.

I... want to be.

I really... really do.

I think you're really cute! And not being carefree right now's ok.

When I'm feeling better, will you finish teaching me that dance...?

[she nods, a couple of short little nods, before clinging to him even tighter than before.

and then she just cries, letting go of the sobs that she's been trying to bite back since dangerbear finished.]

[ oh...

he wraps his arms around her, and gives her slow backrubs, closing his eyes as he leans his head against hers.

they'll... be okay, right...? ]

[it takes a solid few minutes before it slows, and then turns into hiccups and wheezes and a couple of coughs]

... I'm... sorry. I kept you from going back to sleep, didn't I?

It's okay.

I slept a ton today.

[ he reaches up to stroke a hand through her hair ]

Re: day 36, very late

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